Nicole Kidman is engaged

May 17th, 2006 // 81 Comments

Nicole Kidman hosted the 30th Anniversary gala for UNIFEM on Saturday and confirmed that Keith Urban was not only her date, but also her fiance. She tells People magazine: “He’s actually my fiance. I wouldn’t be bringing my boyfriend.”

It’s about time Nicole Kidman finally made her move against Tom Cruise. Besides abandoning their children in a warehouse somewhere, she’s yet to make a move in this epic struggle of one uppism. If she’s going to top Katie Holmes giving birth she better come up with something fast. Like doing it with Keith Urban and then releasing a statement detailing how much larger Urban’s penis is than Tom Cruise’s. And how much more enjoyable sex is with somebody who doesn’t ask you to put on a fake mustache and cowboy hat.



  1. gray

    k, dudes w highlights – nasty! and gay.
    he is gonna ditch her ones he is done w promoting his new cd – as we all know nicole is great for product endorsment.
    he is just using her. also when you look at them as a couple – doesn’t work – i just can’t see them having hot steamy sex – don’t see any hormons,no juices flowing…nutthin!

  2. andrewthezeppo

    Good for her, the lady is all class. And doesn’t she one up him by not being insane?

  3. gogoboots

    He’s a bit too hot for going out with the ice queen…she really needs some color or something, she looks really witchy and old these days…

  4. tsarinaamanda

    Nicole used to be so beautiful. She’s really aged, hasn’t she? She looks like his mother! How does she keep hooking up with these joyboys anyways? She needs to get that gaydar of hers fixed or something.

    I like the word “joyboy”, is it “insensitive” or “homophobic”? Damn, first it was the hyphens, now it’s the quotation marks. Christ.

  5. Didn’t she just state in USA Today that she is still in love with Tom Cruise?

  6. katie

    shes ugly. and way too pale and skinny. i agree # 13 shes looking old and stretched out these days.

  7. prettierthanmeganharris

    lol @5

  8. Pagan Queen

    BigJim – add me to that list, too. I know Krisdylee is first being that she is deliciously cunty.

    On the side, inside, outside, upside down?

    OH yeah, waiting for the hubby to get home!! Nekkid with a beer in my hands. How bout dat for unwinding after a hard day’s work?

  9. I don’t know why she’s so darn mad…oh wait…I thought it said she was *enraged*.

    Never mind.

  10. finally. the truth is out.

  11. Captain Awesome

    I love this The Kidman, i’d bone her many, many times.

  12. biggutonenut

    Its a sad day for my one nut.

    Id get all up in Nicole’s area, wreck it, and then sleep there like Homeless man in New Orleans 9th ward until the day I died.

    Keith Urban will never have any musical success as great as this. He just hit the lottery.

  13. Fa Cube Itches

    Why whould Nicole and Keith be having sex? She likes the clam. The sham marriage with Tom Cruise was a double-sham.

  14. kaileykat

    In all seriousness, when I lived in Australia for a year, the locals kept telling me that both Tom and Nicole were gay and that the marriage was a fake.

    Which would explain why they had to adopt. Aside from him having a raging case of the syph, that is.

  15. katlady12

    Shes got a permanent scowl and trout lips. I actually prefer this look to the spaced out, goofy tongued smile of Katie Holmes.

  16. trophywife

    62… um, dude you need to climb out of your hole in the basement… he’ll never have any musical success as great as this?? dude has won 2 grammys, is about to get his 2nd entertainer of the year award next week (if there is a god)…

    and yes, i’m a ku fan… monkeyville all the way ;)

  17. ellaminnowpea

    Nicole Kidman is engaged? In what? A private conversation? Another sham? oh! She brought her finance (and I meant to spell it that way!)….”he’s actually my fiance”…..apparently she can’t believe it either…so why should we?

  18. Libraesque

    She loves the gay boys, uuuhh huh

  19. twzzlrgirl

    I’m new to this site, but I love it already. I always liked Nicole Kidman until I saw her in “Birth.” Now she just gives me the creeps. Actually, I thought that she and TC made a perfect pair. They should have stayed together and spared poor Katie and Keith…

  20. lomies

    I’m more impressed by how psychedelic that photo is. It’s like they’re in 2 different shots being how the black and white motifs of Kidman’s shoulder, sleeve, and the woman’s back in the background all form a straight line!!!

  21. Fa Cube Itches

    67 – Not as much as she loves the lezzie girls. Old hat around Hollywood.

  22. prettierthanmeganharris

    @40 not always true. Dated a guy who was 5.7 and had an 11 inch penis. His previous girlfriend had actually broke up with him because he was too big.

  23. prettierthanmeganharris

    oh and by the way, yes he was too big for me too…I couldn’t walk right for a week the first time, and after the third time, I moved to Alaska :)

  24. Johnny Be Good

    Her forehead is too big. When I was little I used to hit tennis balls against a backboard that was smaller than her forehead. Might be best not to pull the old curls back so tight Nicole.

  25. AnnoyingPseud

    You heard it first: Nicole Kidman Loves the Clam.


    And onto more pressing issues, like savaging her as she richly deserves: This girl went from being attractive and natural looking to now resembling the Borg Queen in the StarTrekNG movie [the one with Data having his sensors stimulated by said Queen of Borg]. Notice her head shape and that of the Borg Queen? [url=]Nicole aka Borg Queen[/url]

    I’m tellin’ ya all, before long, Urban is going to be looking like poor old Data after the Queen licked his plastic like head.

    What is with the famous and the whole canvas stretching ritual anyway?? I love [not really] the way they all deny it – take for example the woman I hate most bizarrely, Meg “Mr. Limpit Lips” Ryan. In the latest Allure Magazine issue with her on the cover, she tells the magazine how sorry we should all be for her, because the tabloids were so mean to her and why, she didn’t get a fair shake and why does anyone believe those rags?? While later informing the writer that of course all those rumors published about her ex being a pussy hound skirt chaser, why all THOSE nasty things are TRUE about him! B.I.T.C.H. And her face is Jack Nicholson as the Joker and no amount of expertly applied makeup and hair cuts are going to remedy THAT. Now here comes Kidman and her own canvas stretching – and the overly bleached blonde hair – from a ginger to a fake blonde. All she’s missing are the big fake boobs. WTF. She’s hideous. She’s Borg-hideous. That whole bit about TC eating the placenta? That was a mistake – the only one who wanted to snarf down the placenta of baby Thetan was NK, who was hoping it’d keep her restretched canvas looking all moist, mottle free and youthful. BLECH.

  26. ProbablyTooOld

    Oy vey! Bless her heart. She’s smiling widely and her eyes are not moving at all. Nicole, botox is not necessary when you are an actual, honest-to-god actress, and in fact, if you don’t cut it out, you will be relegated to “Desperate Housewives” where you will be forced to engage in dueling non-expressions with Nicolette Sheridan.

    No one wants to see that happen. You were hot once. You can be again. Eat something and no more needles to the face!

  27. _meh_

    In other news, Tom Cruise is taking anti-depressants because Keith Urban is prettier than him

  28. colormeskanky

    @71 hahaha true
    Nicole & Keith seem good together b/c they don’t try to overpower each other…you don’t see keith dragging her around by the hand or forcing her to smile

  29. rogue00

    hey, Boom Batty Nic was in Batman Forever- if thats what you were getting at, which is ok cause that when Val Kilmer was hot… anyway she gonna marry a allegedly reformed womanizer/ex coke addict. Cause wow! that worked out so well for Denise Richards.

  30. I do not know who am this boy but it seems much more charming than TOM!!!

  31. I hope Nicole finds true happiness with her current husband, and may she have the biological child she wants. She deserves it after Tom Cruise and her miscarriages. I am curios about the adoption of her son. She’s hinting at a mystery there. I wonder who’s son he really is?

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