Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban get married

June 26th, 2006 // 102 Comments
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superficial

  1. Genevieve

    She looks great overall, but her original red hair still suits her better than her current blonde.

  2. Genevieve

    And I just realised I have absolutely no life if I’m actually caring about these 2 people getting married.

  3. Divine_Miss_Stacey

    Someone please tell me that puffy sleeves are not making a comeback!!

    I’d offer my congrats, but it seems I really don’t care.

  4. gatorbates

    I’d like to ask Urban if the strawberry pie Down Under is good.

  5. daisyduke

    sorry but who the fuck is keith urban and what does he do?

  6. leahdeadly

    #5
    Let’s hope he doesn’t start doing a lot of coke again. Cause then Nicole gets to use her “get out of marriage free” card!
    Wait, shit, let’s hope he DOES!

  7. Steph

    Incredibly she actually looks like a Barbie… plastic-y and everything.

    I really don’t have anything else to say

  8. twzzlrgirl

    Hate to say it, but we’ll see how long it lasts. How many celebrities are “madly in love” and “perfect for each other” one week and divorced the next.

    Sadly, I’d rather bash Tom Cruise than say something nice about Nicole Kidman. Must be Monday morning….

  9. xx.deathcab.xx

    o_O”

    Mmmhmm.. I’m not interested.

  10. RichPort

    Nicole Kidman, country music and working early on Monday morning: three things that urk the shit out of me.

    She should be proud moving to Tennessee, a state where indoor plumbing and 911 emergency lines are seen as optional luxuries. That and bathing, marrying outside of the immediate family, and high school. Tennessee is volleying with Alabama in a crabs-in-a-bucket race to be the pimple on the ass of America. With these two moving in, Alabama may have settle for second place.

  11. BrianMolko

    What is it with female celebrities marrying lower than themselves? Britney and K-Fed are probably equals in terms of their background but those millions ought to buy her a better man, and gwen stefani with gavin, it doesn’t even matter who he is, but just his name alone is common as hell. And now an oscar winner with millions is settling for an ex drug addict!? The world does not make sense.

  12. trophywife

    sorry, can’t bash this one. i <3 keith urban…. he’s dreamy *swoons*

  13. here

    Confused by previously selecting one of the (then) outwardly most popular, but inwardly most bizarre mates in North America, she returns Down Under to select Jethro with a coke habit. More disillusionment ahead, milady.

  14. VautrinsFolly

    Plastic, plastic, plastic. Does she have any clue as to how UN-lifelike she looks?

  15. VautrinsFolly

    Plastic, plastic, plastic. Does she have any clue as to how UN-lifelike she looks?

  16. Boy howdy, she looks so perfect. Like in Stepword Wives. Like porcelain. Weird.

  17. PLASTIC! UNLIFELIKE! FAKE!

    SUPERFICIAL FODDER!

  18. blueballs

    I am sorry to say that what ever Nikki Kidman did to her face makes her look like a plastic doll. On the bright side, she can now play roles in stop motion doll films.

  19. tarjamarja

    1

    Very true. I remember seeing her in some TV-series of possibly a movie with this beautiful, long, curly, RED hair and freckles and she looked really pretty. Now she’s so horribly pale and skinny, I bet if Keith Urban wakes up in the middle of the night, he has to check her pulse just to see if she’s still alive. Provided, of course, she doesn’t snore. ;)

  20. krisdylee

    I would like to offer my opinion that it was very appropriate that Nicole wore white. Since being married to Tom Cruise does NOT imply they had the sexual intercourse, primarily because word on the street is Tom likes the cock.

  21. yeah-sweety

    prinsesje in een mooi wit kleedje

  22. prettysopo

    She looks pretty… more so in the first picture because there you can’t see how her eyebrows make her face look like it’s pulled tight.

  23. LRonHoover

    Poor Keith… he’s getting Tom’s Sloppy Seconds.

    In other news… Tom STILL LOVES THE COCK!

  24. YouWannaBMe

    WHOOP-DE-FUCKIN’-DO

  25. Binky

    Looks like she still can’t wear heels.
    And let’s hope, for her sake, that the guy doesn’t sing in the shower.

  26. ESQ

    Does anyone care? What is the liklihood of these two lasting? Please let’s move on…Nicole is hott though.

  27. I read somewhere that Keith Urban liked to dip his lovers’ balls in dessert wines, and then snort big fat lines of coke off their asses. Because he is GAY.

    Does nobody else remember the Playgirl debacle? GAY, I tell you!

    I wonder if that’s how their honeymoon night was spent — only minus the gay cabana boys and the coke, of course. I feel like I remember “balls” and a “hazelnut sherry” on my nupital night, but then again, I can’t remember a night without balls or wine in the past six years.

    In fact, as I write this, I’m drunk, and I have some balls gently cradled in my mouth. And it’s not even ten o’clock! It’s going to be a good day, I can tell.

  28. magickal

    Is it too much to ask that Keith shaved his faggy little five o’clock shadow and do something with his hair for his own wedding?

    And, why won’t anyone close to Nicole tell her that wearing her hair pulled back that way is soooo NOT an attractive look with her massive forehead and receding hairline?

    That said, I’ll bet Tom is just stewing somewhere because Nicole and Keith beat him and Katie to the alter. HA HA Tom you fucking dickhead! TCLTC!!!!!

  29. Sheva

    Based on the dude’s hair, the chances of him not going back to the drugs is remote.

    It’s a dead giveaway. He’s marrying her but he loves drugs.
    Who is this guy?

  30. trophywife

    gawd i’m feeling slutty today because i also <3 sweetcheeks… that post made me also *swoon* and a little bit wet…

  31. lets hope their child will be much prettier than britney’s. Keith looks like a heroin dealer or something

  32. They make such a lovely couple. Boring, but very sweet. She looks gorgeous in that dress.

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

  33. sarah

    Awww they are so cute together, Im not a fan of her sleeves though. 0.o But she still looks really pretty.

  34. BarbadoSlim

    After the ceremony, the A-list guests pelted the happy couple with kilos of cocaine as they walked to their car.

  35. krisdylee

    Sweetcheeks, you are the Queen of Multi-Tasking… Good for you!

  36. inspector11

    i think their foreheads will be very happy together.

  37. jane's eyre

    Good LORD, Nicole, please dye your hair back to red. SO much prettier as a redhead. Like there’s not enough blondes in Hollywood.

    That second picture reminds me of Little Leota in the Haunted Mansion.

    “Hurry baaaack, hurry baaaaack….”

  38. No_Angel

    Something sucked all the color out of Nicole.

    Where are her children?

  39. chiris

    She looks like a living mummy!

  40. YouWannaBMe

    @38 – They’re with Xenu.

  41. Captain Awesome

    Stunning bride, i’d hit it many times.

  42. hisforalways

    #1 Agreed.

    I like the way she looked in Moulin Rouge. The deep red suits her–especially since her eyebrows don’t match her hair.

  43. reacktion

    I think she looks lovely. How refreshing to have a traditional ceremony that includes friends and family in one’s hometown at the church where her family actually attends services. Here’s hoping that she and her new husband beat the odds and make it last. For those who asked, her daughter and son from her marriage to Cruise were in attendance as a bridesmaid and groom’s attendant. Maybe try reading one of the million articles….

    Here’s a link to the original design on which her gown was based:

    http://www.style.com/fashionshows/collections/S2006RTW/complete/slideshow/BALENCIA?event=show1381&designer=design_house12&trend=&iphoto=22

  44. GG1000

    Who is the stylist who convinced her that cruelly dragging her hair away to highlight that huge Botoxed forehead is a good look? And what is with these actresses whose jobs involve portraying human emotion deciding to immobilize their faces? She’d be better off with a wrinkle or two than looking like her own Madame Tussaud’s image.

  45. CoJo

    Nicole Kidman LOVES men that LOVE THE COCK! Forget marrying “down”, what is her obsession with homosexuals?

    Nicole Kidman, the most famous fag-hag the world over.

  46. chelsea_423

    Princess Consuela Banana Hammock…you got that from Phoebe on Friends! Mwahahahha
    And Nicole is usually a style icon, very classy and glamorous, and her wedding day she come out in puffy sleeves? Tsk tsk…

  47. Nikk The Templar

    Hey, it’s the Corpse Bride….

    Just kidding.

    I love Nicole Kidman.

    I wish her nothing but happiness….maybe this time, she’ll actually get some lovin’ from Mr. Urban….rather than having to wear a Xenu costume and quote lines from Battlefield Earth…..like she did with a certain other person…who throughouly enjoys The Cock.

  48. DancingQueen

    What is Nicole doing with Jessica Simpson’s gay hairstylist???

  49. Jacq

    Who gives a shit? *shrugs*

    At least she beat TCLTC to the altar and, unlike the way he’s conducted his relationship, did it with some class.

  50. baltogirl

    @45– I believe the fag-hags prefer the term “fruit flies”.

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