Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban do the prenup

June 23rd, 2006 // 62 Comments

Page Six reports Nicole Kidman had Keith Urban sign a prenup earlier this month to make sure her $150 million is safe in case things go sour after their wedding tomorrow. The papers give Keith just over $600,000 a year for every year they’re together and there’s an additional clause that allows her to leave the marriage without giving anything to Keith – an ex-cocaine addict – if he uses illegal narcotics or drinks excessively.

$600,000 is pretty weak considering Tom Cruise gave Katie Holmes $3 million a year in their prenup. I guess Nicole Kidman doesn’t have anything to prove because she’s not a short child-man like Tom Cruise. When you can’t reach the kitchen sink without a stool it’s not surprising you have to prove yourself by throwing your money around. That, and pretending you’re a doctor so you can make fun of sick people and medicine.


  1. honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah

    Nicole is arousing.

    All the best to them.

  2. Jordan

    …I’d take 600k a year no problem!

  3. yuckyfresh

    i love nicole, but i have to say marrying an ex-addict is always a bad idea. so she’s right to say


  4. Linnea

    He must be using illegal drugs because I know the only way I’d go near Nicole Kidman is if her naked body was covered with sweet, sweet, cocaine. Or if she were riding a magical unicorn. I love magical unicorns.

  5. biatcho

    you think she’d find a guy who has less hair than she does, so when she goes completely bald she won’t get mad at the guy & rip his dick off for having more hair than her. eh, to each his own I guess.

  6. spanglish

    Once again, Keith looks like a midget here.

  7. andrewthezeppo

    Smart woman, giving so little money prooves that he’s marrying for love and not money.

    Giving you fiance who’s over 20 years yonger 3 million a year to be married pretty much proves she’s in it for the cash.

  8. That’s it. I’m changing my name to “cockasaurus”

  9. spanglish

    Hell yeah, I’d make him sign a pre-nup. She’s got reasons and issues and all kind of baggage and sicko Tom Cruise to thank for it. And if a pre-nup makes her feel better, then she should do it.

    I don’t know squat about Keith Urban, but I like her and he should know that he is tredding on delicate ground here.

    But do the kids like him? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in pictures with the kids. Of course we’ve seen Katie with the kids.

  10. biatcho

    you’re thinking about this entirely too much spanglish.

  11. spanglish

    I’m sorry biatcho.

    I like Nicole, but she’s looking like a Femme Bot lately.

  12. henrysgirl

    Is she really going bald? Enquiring minds want to know…

  13. biatcho

    no need for apologies, we’re not nice people are we? Yeah she’s getting uglier by the minute.

    Have you seen her receding hairline? I think it’s why she remains so pale & deathly looking, so it doesn’t look as noticeable. creepy.

  14. BarbadoSlim

    $150 million!? really? Nicole fucking Kidman?!?!

    Then maybe she should refund all the victims of that cinematic shitfest otherwise known as Bewitched.

    And cocaine is a hell of a drug and Cocaine Keith is about to hit a colombian home-run.

  15. yuckyfresh

    #8 – i love it.

  16. imabeeatch

    Ony $150 million!?! She’s “poor”

  17. imabeeatch


  18. Italian Stallion

    @3 yuckyfresh, ciao!!!

    “It’s something that you need to have, because when she leaves your ass, she gonna leave with half, 18 years, 18 years, and on the 18th birthday, found out it wasn’t his…..”
    “Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she ain’t messin with no half-nigger (Barbado Slim)”

  19. shankyouverymuch


    Hey biatcho, man you’re hard to track down- bouncing all over the place like you do… go back to the Christina Aguilera string and look at posts 92 and 93 they

  20. PaisleyMoon

    I’m so sick of hearing about her wedding, how she may be married, maybe in secret, what will she wear, how much pubic hair will be shaved for the fucking sucking fart licking WEDDING. Die die die!

  21. Jacq

    Katie definitely wins. She’s getting paid to not have sex with him and shop all over the world.

    She paid Tom $640K a year while they were married and he used it to buy high heels.

    Way to rub-in that ex-cokehead thing. Nice.

    #8 – If you want a dinosaur name, may I suggest Megasoreass?

  22. shankyouverymuch


    Hey Stallion… good to see you

  23. Italian Stallion

    @22 may I dare say skankyouverymuch…..was wondering what happened to you. I went to Bonnaroo last weekend so unfortunately I missed the Jay-Z thread.
    Barbado Slim seems to have a problem with me now, so he’s my new target. Stick around it should get pretty good, he’s a funny little half-breed so I see some good comebacks from that little oreo…..later

  24. Libraesque

    I’m not a psychiatrist, but this sounds like a recipe for disaster. The thought of this looming over him is going to make him resent her eventually, and if he does slip off the wagon, which he will, I don’t know what the statistics are but I’m sure they’re pretty high (no pun intended) he’ll keep it from her because of the money, and the marriage turns out to be a big fiasco

  25. Sheva

    He should write a check the first chance he gets for a large amount in seven figures, say 2 million, buy a couple of eight balls and then when the cold hearted bitch is sleeping wake her up as he doing lines off her.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  26. WorldWideWendy

    It’s 7:22 am in Hong Kong.If I were a dinosaur- I’d be a blind one- then people could say “look a dinosaur…’doyouthinkhe saurous’?” and hilarity would ensue( well it would except I’m a girls so the ‘HE’ bit wouldn’t be funny, but apart from that, there would be hilarious consequences)
    Oh, and 600,000 buys a lot of crack- he was into crack, not coke…not that I’d know, Of course.

  27. lurkinggirl

    Yawn….who cares? Nicole and Keith, whoopdie do.

  28. BarbadoSlim

    Have fun posting to yourself “Luigi” I have no interest in your greasy ass. Go and knead some dough or shave your girlfriend’s hairy armpit or something. Better yet, go and apply some more Armor All to your Iroc Z and then use the same rag to touch up.

    buh bye.

  29. jane's eyre

    That’s the oldest, lamest joke. Sorry. They even used it in Jurassic Park. I only know this because my son insists on watching it over and over and over….

  30. jane's eyre

    I think that should read,

    Nicole is a’rising.

    From her coffin.

    Creepy bloodless pale vampire.

  31. Italian Stallion

    @28 Can’t hang, huh mocha? That’s cool, I understand. And by the way, your mother doesn’t have hairy armpits, I never wanted to date her ass because I found out she had a penis from your monkey dad……….

  32. BarbadoSlim

    Oh and before I forget “Mario”, everytime time you post refering to me you’ll make yourself look like homo internet stalker, so impress us all with your gayness, Olive Oyl.

    your move faggot.

  33. shankyouverymuch


    Excellent… I

  34. Italian Stallion

    Wow, that was a good one. I guess i’m gay now. Come to think of it, your like fighting with MeganHarris, I’m done now considering I just used the worst insult in the world.
    In all honesty, I was just joking around with you, please don’t take my jokes seriously. I pegged you as someone with some witty comebacks but I guess I was wrong. No hard feelings. If it makes you feel any better I’ll start putting Half and Half in my coffee……….Holla

  35. CruisingForCock

    Stallion, it just isn’t nice to make fun of black people. Haven’t they suffered enough with being slaves all those years…

    Wait, nevermind, those negros drive better cars and have better clothes now with all that rapping. Carry on…

  36. shankyouverymuch


    I see the blood letting has begun… be careful fella

  37. CruisingForCock


  38. biatcho

    perhaps we can then have a girl winner against guy winner from my inevitable battle with lamabanas? But I kind of like Stallion & Barbado so I wouldn’t want to fight with either of them. godspeed.

  39. CruisingForCock

    We should hide on this thread, Bananas is loose on the new ones.

  40. KegelMaster

    @31 & 32 Why don’t you two take all this aggression out with a sweaty man fight ala
    Brokeback Mountain style.

  41. shankyouverymuch


    biatcho… have you gotten my posts for you…ie… Hey biacho go back to the Christina Aguilera string and look at posts 92 and 93 they

  42. WorldWideWendy

    What’s brown and sticky?
    A stick.
    Now THAT is an old joke.
    But it has no place in Jurasic Park.Sadly.

  43. RichPort

    You’ll have to forgive my ignorance, but don’t most Italians blast hip hop out of their highly polished sports cars and worship the NBA? And don’t most Black guys worship mafia movies and, let’s face it, love a great slice (and in turn, make up 75% of the staff at Dominos)? And aren’t Sicilians half eggplant anyway? And yet, Italians and Blacks always seem to hate each other, and, live in the same areas. Must be one of those fucked up tricks god plays to pass the time…

  44. Fa Cube Itches

    Nice pic. Looks like she’s slapping him upside the head while saying “‘Cause I fucking SAID so, moron.”

    Ani’t love grand?

  45. yuckyfresh

    @18 LOL

  46. peanut

    You pegged that one.

  47. PrincessMuMu

    RichPort where the hell do you LIVE???

  48. tarjamarja

    So is it true love when you only reward your spouse with $600,000 a year for every year they stick with you? As opposed to $3 million a year? Where’s the limit – anything below $1 million a year is true love and anything above it is fake?

  49. biatcho

    yes #41, shankyouverylittle for the adoring compliments. It is my goal in life to have a stranger on the internet want to have all sorts of sex with me – how did you know?. I just hope you love fatties cause I gots it going OOOON!

  50. BadGoat

    Is this a marriage or a business arrangement? I suppose I would do the same if I had millions.

    Does the prenub define “excessive drinking”? For me, excessive is over 3 drinks, for some it’s ‘after’ they pass out, face down on the sidewalk?

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