Nicole Bahls’ ass is about to save lives

January 13th, 2010 // 150 Comments

Because I have a keen eye for star power and name recognition, here’s Nicole Bahls’ Kardashian-esque ass which I’m about to use to help the people of Haiti. In case you’ve been too busy reading this site – it happens – they just had their entire country destroyed by earthquakes yesterday. You can help out in less than two seconds by doing the following:

Text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.


Text “YELE” to 501501 to donate $5 to Wyclef Jean’s Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund.

That’s the price of one latte, folks. Or two if you’re that kickass co-worker who always springs for coffee. And lap dances. (Hint, hint.)

UPDATE: Might want to hold off on the Wyclef donations.

Photos: Flynet

  1. pimp

    don’t go to her homepage photo gallery unless you have a spare 2 minutes to rub one out…the ass hair is amazing…

  2. gen


    Of course we as women don’t instinctively find big asses attractive. We like men’s nice athletic ones. But try to understand that it’s what most men do like, so learn to love it, or just shut the fuck up.

  3. dude!

    Damn. Now I am hungry for sushi.

  4. Deacon Jones

    Left nip slip in pics 2 and 3. Obvious implants due to the height of her nipple.

    I cant believe this chick is only 23. I wonder what she looked like in high school… know her uncle’s popped boners when they came over for x-mas dinner.

    “Heyyyyyy sweetie!! Give Enrico a hug! Man, you’ve gotten…mature!”

  5. spicy ( pissed)

    “I would rather have a pancake ass than that thing” -#37

    Are you fucking kidding me? Her ass should be placed on a pedestal and worshipped by females. You clearly have loose screws ie., anorexia.

    Duh everybody knows that men love round things, why the hell would you want a flat ass? Who are you trying to attract? That woman’s is ass/entire body is actually flawless, in my opinion (except im skeptical she has implants — which were prolly not even necessary)

    Sir Mix A Lot, ever heard of him????????????? God females.. and I thought we came so far *shakes fist*

  6. spicy

    Oh, and she’s 23?? She looks about 26-27 in my book actually. I’m 23, I definitely thought she was older.

  7. who dat

    FYI the red cross has a 60% overhead operating cost. Meaning only 40% of every donation passes through.

  8. TheB

    All i can say is i’d SMASH** big time!

  9. OMG BRAZIL HERE I COME..!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Hefe

    Sorry but Kim blows this wannabe away.

    Not even close.

  11. Uncle Eccoli

    Is it sad that I trust Wyclef Jean more than the Red Cross?

  12. Please, let’s not compare Kardashian’s frumpy ass to this masterpiece of assometry.

    This girl is actually fit and has killer thighs to match that delicious booty.

  13. JustJess

    Thanks, Fish. Sometimes it feels good not be so “superficial”…

  14. Jrz

    RichPort? did someone say RichPort?

  15. PostmortemG

    I know a Paraguayan girl who´s even hotter than this lady. Yes folks, down here in South America, wondrous females can indeed be found! =D

    ¨lol photo number 7 is priceless in so many ways¨


    ¨This woman is not attractive. I don’t know what it is men like about giant asses, but most women find it repulsive. I would rather have a pancake ass than that thing. Fucking gross.¨

    A big, beautiful ass like this woman totes around feels incredible, wrapped around a man´s erection; also, i can´t think of many things more fun than burying my face into one. Maybe the idea makes more sense to you now?

  16. ginger

    all i know is… this girl has the best life. i wish i could be swimming everyday.

  17. ginger

    wait… i found something bad about her… her feet are janky

  18. my comment

    She’ll be the size of an elephant in 8 years. A hairy elephant.

  19. jojo




  20. Hugh Gentry

    what an amazing body…I love the hint of nipple. She makes my cock move, and I’d love for her to coax a huge load out of my aching balls.

  21. missywiss

    @52- you need to shut the fuck up. I am a woman and I think this woman’s ass is so feminime and beautiful. I doesn’t mean I want it, I think it looks like a piece of art. I’m so glad these big beautiful booties are in and the skeleton figure is out.

  22. missywiss

    Okay, I went to her site and yes, it is a really really fuzzy butt picture. Is that for real??? How does that happen?

  23. bR1an

    “I’d tax that ass like the government”
    @20 thanks Chop, I owe you.

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  25. sir shempeth

    she’s got a “Druuna” ass….

  26. wowow

    how did sanjaya land her?!?

  27. JDM

    Pretty lady.

    How do those text donations work exactly? I’ve never done one before, so I don’t have a clue when it comes to texting like that.

    (Sorry to ask the dumb question.)

  28. TheJoker07

    She’s hot, who is she?

  29. soheyl

    You see a side nipple in pic 2

  30. Spicy

    LADIES! huge package PIC 6

  31. captainsplendidpants

    her ass looks all hairy…. LOL at that homepage picture

  32. krys

    Her body is perfect.
    She’s not ugly by any means,but I just don’t like her face that much for some reason.

  33. captainsplendidpants

    her homepage of her site is a hairy ass shot!!!

  34. gen


    I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t say I dislike her ass. I said women don’t find it attractive because they’re attracted to MEN.

  35. soahc

    Finest bitch in a bikini this site has posted since the last time my eyes were blessed with the grandeur that is Mena Suvari. Keep em’ comin’ fish, and I will keep cummin’.

  36. Nicole Bahls’ ass is a very perfect and fit body thats ass looking a very hot and sexy uuuuuuuuu i like it, she is looking very gorgeous and beautifull,—Where-to-Buy-Acai-Berry-Diet-Supplements&id=3544397

  37. monica

    jesus christ

    and i thought my ass was hairy

  38. Rex

    OK this post was great, I am really going to workout my arm on this one. Whoever took these picture bless you, your my kind of guy.

  39. good thing her ass will do the saving because her face sure as hell won’t

  40. Boogeyman King Dong

    I’d see a capable nuclear bomb shelter 4 ma penis.

  41. Smarm

    “40. Papa Doc and Baby Doc – January 13, 2010 3:04 PM

    Yeah poor Haiti just like Cuba had the miserable fortune to live next to us and suffer absolute tyranny.
    The Muslims might not be so unhappy if we were not their setting up puppet governments or invading with zillions of dollars worth of military equiptment. Just think of the poor suffering people of the United States. What if the trillion dollars a year we spent on “defense” (offense?) was instead spent on the taxpayers needs and our own infrastructure.

    Bonus Hint: Nation building is best achieved without blowing the fucking places up! ”

    Are you really that fucking ignorant? Or are you just a fucking asshole.. i’m guessing the latter. Since you seem to despise shit so much here why dont you get the fuck out?

    For what its worth, and for anyone whose interested, (knowing this site, not too many, heh) I spent a year in Port au prince (Haiti) doing security for the medical and dental teams the Navy sent out there (wasnt Blackwater or anything, lol, was in the Corps) and I can tell you that if this country didnt have shit luck they’d have none at all. Its not their fucking fault theyre born into the shit they are and I can tell you from being in a few different third world countries that they’re by far one of the worst. This country was hanging on by a thread *before* the quakes.

    I know alot of people are indifferent, and I guess if thats your outlook and you either dont give a fuck, or have the ‘fuck them’ attitude, to each his own. But for anyone whose debating about giving a few bucks, I’d ask you bit the bullet and did so. Fuck, they needed it without the quakes. No food, no clothing, no water, (US govt spent a million a year in bottled water for us while we were out there because theres no potable water. )… and again, i know alot of times, in particular local, you look at shit and say ‘well if they want to get out they can- nothings forcing them to stay’… alot of times, those people cant.

    Anyways, flame on, just wanted to give some insight from someone whose been there.

    Oh, and that ass is incredible..and for those saying shes ugly, you’re insane.

  42. bmose

    THANK YOU @20. I don’t care if it has some fuzz, I could motorboat those cheeks all night. Too bad she’s probably been stretched out by Brazilian baseball bats.

  43. @ #16 Krazykat.

    Your comments just made me pop a big one.
    I would love to see what type of destruction you would do to her ass.
    MMmmm. Yummy

  44. MONDO

    Come on Sanjya! Bite that ass!

  45. Swarm, really

    SWARM you are a dumbed down typical idtiotic american. Nation building does not start with military invasions you stupid right wing faggot. The fact that you were in the core means nothing regarding your function in life. I guess it’s easy to feel brave behind advanced military technology. How brave would you be if you were on the opposite side?
    We set up the Duvaliers to allow us to exploit the natural resources of Haiti and those people never had a chance to develop. Just like the middle east. Don’t lie and deny that we are there for the sake of Israel and the oil and natural gas you lying moron. Of course being a moron does inhibit one’s sense of reality.
    It’s jerks like you that keep evil men in power.

  46. erm

    Shes good looking, but looks like shes in her mid to late 30s to me.. not 23. I bit more of a chunky monkey than most but looks like a good horn dog

  47. Distiller


    90-60-98 @ 5ft6in and 120lb

  48. KWDragon

    Thank you for the donation information & the new girl on your site. Yes, she is saving the world, one gorgeous bun at a time! Bless her!

    I texted both, so the $15 is on the way to Haiti. Thanks for helping out!

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