Nicole Kidman Is Made From A Stronger Space Age Polymer Than I Thought

September 13th, 2013 // 33 Comments

If someone told me Nicole Kidman got hit by a bicycle, my first reaction would be, “Holy shit, someone needs to sweep up the broken pieces of her porcelain body before a gust of wind takes them.” Except here she is surprisingly still intact in New York yesterday after infamously annoying photographer Carl Wu crashed into her with his bike. NASA informs me she’ll be ready for deep space provided the prototype test launch goes well. “It’s just your basic pass through the sun. These things are built for it.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, did the guy break both of his legs or what?!

  2. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    awesomesauce
    Commented on this photo:

    wow those police showed up fast, weird how it takes them 2 hours to report to a shooting on the other side of town

  3. cc

    He was an assassin sent by Thetans. They did NOT know what they were dealing with.

  4. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    This makes me think of how magnificent her ass was in Dead Calm. I feel nostalgic.

  5. Hugh Jass

    Too bad California doesn’t have a stand your ground law. She could have done a Zimmerman on the guy.

    • Hugh Jass

      Sorry, it happened in New York not California. My bad. New York doesn’t have stand your ground either, but if she knows the right person, his kneecaps are history.

  6. Fembot Engineer

    I’m surprised she held up. That particular model was designed specifically for Tom Cruise, and the bearding package doesn’t use the carbon fiber nanotech endoskeleton that we use in our fembots that were built for sexual purposes.

  7. EricLR

    Inform Rudy Wells that the first test of the right leg is a success.

  8. What a douchebag–you shouldn’t ride bikes on sidewalks (against the law, at least here in CA), and he has headphones in and no helmet to boot. Total idiot. But at least he has a stylish bandana on to mop up the sweat.

  9. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    Better call Saul!

  10. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe the first legitimate time Shia LaBeouf can look at anyone and say: What a jerk!

  11. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    Getting run down distracted us from the important story. She’s not wearing panties.

  12. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, what a dick. A whole crowd of people around Nicole as she steps out of her car, and he doesn’t notice any of them and instead ploughs straight in? Total, total dick.

  13. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she going to sue the punk for assault? If a celebrity even brushes up against a paparazzi, they squeal and whine and cry hurt until they get some money.

  14. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how the guard refuses to take his hand–just grabs him by the wrist.

  15. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, THAT’S how you jam a bicycle up someone’s ass.

  16. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    ITOLDYOU
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know that she had such a BEAUTIFUL well shape ass!!!!

  17. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    ITOLDYOU
    Commented on this photo:

    NICE LEGS TOO!!!

  18. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    ITOLDYOU
    Commented on this photo:

    DAMN SHE GOT GREAT LEGS!!!

  19. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    kimk
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like a mom ass no big deal

  20. crb

    I have no specific love or hate for this lady, but.

    pleasepresscharges pleasepresscharges pleasepresscharges pleasepresscharges pleasepresscharges pleasepresscharges !!!!!

  21. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    A young Robert De Niro takes charge.

  22. You know that if he had ridden his bike into her vehicle while it was moving and it was HIS FAULT, he still would’ve sued hardcore, like all the pappfucktards do. She doesn’t seem that hurt, but I wish she would sue his balls off just to make a point.

  23. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a great ass.

  24. Nicole Kidman Hit By Photographer On Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    That is 100 percent WOMAN!!

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