Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban Sext, This Is Information You Know Now

October 29th, 2013 // 22 Comments
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During an appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show yesterday, Keith Urban revealed that when he’s away from Nicole Kidman the two like to get it on through the sensual art of making penis emoticons on their smartphones. Via Us Weekly:

“We never text. We never email. Phone calls only, which I really love that,” Urban continues. “Maybe one text. Maybe one cool, kinda, one of those kind of texts a year.”
“What kind of text, what do you mean?” DeGeneres asks laughing.
Nice sex texting,” Urban replies.

First off, “nice sex texting” is probably the creepiest thing one person could say to another outside the context of incest. Second, naturally I’m about to recreate said texting.

xxx-xxx-xxxx: i bet ur nice sex hole doesn't feel like a mannequin's at all
xxx-xxx-xxxx: oh YES keith u know just what to say
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i'm not tom cruise...
xxx-xxx-xxxx: OH GOD I'M CUMMING KEITH I'M CUMMING SO HARD
xxx-xxx-xxxx: that's right now it's daddy's turn
xxx-xxx-xxxx: ...
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i said it's daddy's turn
xxx-xxx-xxxx: ...
xxx-xxx-xxxx: nicole??
xxx-xxx-xxxx: [Android unit 'N_Kidman' charging. Sequence 'Sext_Keith' terminated.]
xxx-xxx-xxxx: you always do this! :(

 

Photo: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. She sends him pictures of ice cubes and he sends pictures of botox syringes. Fap, fap, fap.

  2. She loves men with lift in there shoes. Yes were talking to you Tom Cruise. You midget humper.

  3. The Fembot engineers must have installed an interface to send commands through txt message.

    “Activate sexual function,protocol 5742 – Parameters: Tightness=6.2, Moistness=4.3, Willingness=7.4, Butt=On # See you tonight, babe!”

  4. Cock Dr

    I think they make a very cute couple.

  5. Inner Retard

    This is just cruel. First, some moist Selena Gomez pictures to get us hard then Fish dumps this on us. It’s like Wile E. Coyote dropping an anvil on your dick except this time he really hits the Road Runner.

  6. cc

    ‘I wanna jizz on your ceramic face, you slut’

  7. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Inside Llewyn Davis Premiere 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I remember that movie, Eyes Wide Botox.

  8. Actually she was a fine women before TC ,botox, botox , botox, botox, botox, botox, botox and more botox.

  9. She texts him a picture of the man she caught for him to have sex with, and that they will both murder afterwards, so he can’t reveal their secret. Not like that idiot Travolta. Who lets their secret male sex slaves and rape victims live? Kinda ruins the secret part, moron.

    Also, straight male country singers don’t have fucking frosted hair.

  10. How the hell short is he? I’ve seen Nicole Kidman in person, she’s about 5 foot nothing, maybe 85 pounds soaking wet, yet in those pics she towers over him.
    Also, yeah, thanks – now we know they ‘sext’ each other. I was also pretty sure my grandma shits on the toilet, but I don’t want to see, think or be told about that either.

  11. So the Stepford Wives really do exist….

  12. Maybe on a tiny cellphone screen he looks tall and she looks lifelike.

  13. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Inside Llewyn Davis Premiere 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival
    ITOLDYOU
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one lucky dude, He has his hand on that VERY SWEET ASS!!

  14. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Inside Llewyn Davis Premiere 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    How big is her forehead?

  15. Guest

    #1. Nicole in her Jimmy Choo heels is 6′ 3″. Keith’s height 5’10″
    #2. There’s an old adage that goes: “People are known by their enemies as well as their friends”. Let me explain that to the blithering idiots who post insults about people they don’t know nor ever will. . The ‘people are known, etc.,’ simply means, you’re complimenting those you insult because they wouldn’t have you as a friend (fan) in the first place.

  16. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Inside Llewyn Davis Premiere 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Darken her hair and she looks just like Gina Davis.

  17. Bo Derek

    She gets more feral with age………….great actress however. Keith must have a large stock control in brown paper bags… :p

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