Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban: ‘Eh, Screw It. We’ll Just Buy One.’

January 18th, 2011 // 43 Comments

With every celebrity and their brother having a baby right now, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban weren’t about to let an uninhabitable uterus keep them from the latest Hollywood fad. Which is why they’ve announced today they have a brand new baby via a surrogate that they’re both apparently the biological parents of. The AP reports:

The couple announced Monday the arrival of Faith Margaret Kidman Urban, born on Dec. 28 at a Nashville, Tenn., hospital.
Kidman and Urban released a statement saying they are “truly blessed” and thanked everyone for their support, “our gestational carrier” in particular.

Twenty years from now when anthropologists attempt to figure out why the hell there’s so many fucking people on the planet, I hope history looks harshly upon 2011 Hollywood and particularly the Kidman-Urban clan for pissing in the face of nature. Also, it’d be funny if it made a few Botox jokes even though it looks like Nicole really did get that monkey off her back. I’m guessing so she didn’t frighten the baby because there’s nothing children love more than seeing skin sloughing off the face of the woman rocking them to sleep. It’s like a warm bottle of milk.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Peter

    At least their traditional in the sense of burdening their child with an obnoxious first, middle, and hyphenated-last name to pay sufficient homage to each parent’s hyper ego.

  2. Peter

    Er, I mean “they’re.” It’s early, but that’s still embarrassing.

  3. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Baby
    Colleen
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats so weird bc I totally thought she was pregnant at the golden globes. The little bow on the dress hit right on her belly fat. Shit…she gained baby weight without even carrying the damn thing. Get her some Skineez ASAP and get that baby belly in check!!

  4. Why does he look like an unshaven Ellen Degeneres??

  5. Peter

    Upon further consideration, is my senseless pursuit of grammatical perfection all that dissimilar from Nicole Kidman’s Sisyphean surgical and chemical pursuit of physical perfection, despite the obvious ravages of time? Maybe we’re not so different after all.

    I guess I have a lot of things to ponder.

    • Cock Dr

      Your introspection is good.
      I think I like this idea of “Buying one”. It was an American surrogate I hope?
      They used some of their Aussie entertainment wealth to help the US economy. Thanks Nicole & Keith & congrats on new purchase.

  6. Ebay baby, conception, gestation and delivery. All at the click of a mouse.

  7. sean

    Surrogate motherhood is indeed “pissing in the face of nature”. So is homosexuality. Both are against nature, and both are supported enthusiastically by Hollywood and self-proclaimed progressive-elitist types. This country is going to Hell.

    • Yoda

      This country is going to hell because of bigots like you.

      • Mortimer Duke

        Hmm Not so much @ Yoda. Children are not stunts and shouldnt just be purchased because thats the “in” thing to do. If these bitch faces really wanted to do something significant they would storm an orphanage and adopt a kid already living. Not pay someone to breed one for them.

    • Aggie

      Please quit taking up precious oxygen

    • sure, but nature gets off on a little golden shower every now and again. In fact, nature asked me to shit on her chest just last night…but I don’t freak that way.

    • Aussie Mama

      babies need their mum and dad.
      elton john and david furnish, adopting that lil’ bub, just wrong man.
      hollywood embraces and pushes everything that circles the drain.
      first gay rights, then all out in the open, now having kiddies too?
      fuck off, let families be traditional families. everyone is happier that way. these houses with 2 single mums n 20 kids all farthered by different men, all for welfare. the ocothoares, the micherlle bombshell parents, sterilise those bitches too. if you need a licence for a dog, then i say some mental health test etc is more than appropriate for bringing a child into the world too. the feminists have fucked a whole generation, brainwashing women into thinking they don’t need a man, they can do it all themselves. careers are the full filment of life? wrong. children and a strong family is real full fillment, a healthy environment. plenty of career execs out there, childless, with cash galore that are unhappy fuckers!

    • mountain101

      o.m.g get over yourself,
      i think it is fantastic we can do things like this today, besides a surrogate just carries the baby for someone who physically can’t! the baby is genetically both keith and Nicole’s!
      you cannot have an attitude like that in todays society its physically wrong, perhaps you should go back to your cave an dance around a fire, or perhaps without a fire as thats burning nature!!

  8. well it takes three to create a creature er baby.

  9. Bucky Barnes

    Memo to Keith, you should have tried the Dixie cup and turkey baster method… it worked for Tom Cruise. Perhaps also worth mentioning that Tom spit in the cup, so there’s absolutely no telling who the kids’ dads might be.

  10. noooooooooo

    What the hell is going on with her face now, is it stuck? It’s a mirror of what we saw last week and honestly it’s friggin creepy.

  11. Satan's bitch

    “Gestational carrier” – I’m gonna puke.

    Nicole’s dresser told her ‘she ain’t gone be no 18 inches no mo’ after the last kid and she cut little Keith off at the pass.

  12. Aggie

    Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret? Are they hill people??

  13. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Baby
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    God, I wish she never did her lips. She used to look so gorgeous.

  14. They HAD to use a surrogate. Kidman has so much botox tightening her up now, her vagina is in her armpit.

  15. Phoenix

    Nicole has had several miscarriages, and has tried for a family biologically for twenty plus years. People need to quit being mean, stupid and or both.

  16. Melissa

    Wow, that’s great and good for them but…wtf ever happened to the children Tom and Nicole adopted? You never see them in any photo with Tom or Nicole… did they give them back???

    • Probably won’t hear anything about them until they’ve either had a run-in with the law OR heading to the Betty Ford clinic.

    • ghost

      They live with Tom and Nicole doesn’t see them very often (which she said was the kids’ choice). They are apparently alive and well and pretty much out of the spotlight for now.

    • Aussie Mama

      tom won’t let her see the kids. they are brought up by scientology. nicole isn’t even allowed to talk about it all. she can’t, they have too many of her secrets, they would spill.

  17. Aussie Mama

    she never even carried sunday. her sister antonia did. antonia disappeared from the spotlight for months. the reappeared after the birth of sunday. i always said if they have another, they will adopt. instead they bought. nicole kidman carried a prosthetic belly, just like kelly preston. she has never given birth herself.

    • mountain101

      that a load of crap!!
      nicole was pregnant with sunday you plonk and she shot the film Nine roughly 6 months after having her!
      you’re spreading viscous and cruel rumors about, an extremely kind person who helps the world and gives loads to charities!
      what have you done with your life, sit at your computer spreading bull****!!!

  18. browny

    @aussie mama: ‘childless… unhappy f*&^ers’. well, those career executives pay taxes so you can sit at your computer spewing forth your bigoted obscenity laden bile instead of looking after your children. Methinks I smell a jealous fat mama.

    • akewlazzmom

      And me thinks that no one really gives a shit what yous (u’s?) thinks!
      Ta Ta.

    • Aussie Mama

      those career executives have also brought on the trillion dollar debts. i pay taxes just like everybody else, and i can sleep at night. no secrets, nothing hiding in my closet. i’m not of the communist schooling which teaches political correctness. i don’t believe in it at all.
      this site is nothing but opinions. so why do you feel yours has more entitlement than mine?
      is it because your american?
      you people should be building scaffolding and hanging your exec’s from the highest point possible.
      again, just my opinion stalin.

  19. Sean

    Yeah, they “bought” one. Nice of you to put that into context for us. Just like every adoptive parent does when they adopt a child. That has to be paid for too. Those rotten adoptive parents! Whoever posted this blog…not only are you an a$$hole…but you’re a coward as well. It’s easy to spread hate when you do it anonymously.

    • Andriiya

      Paying a fee too adopt a child to cover the cost of helping other children isn’t the same as renting out a womb for nine months so you can have a baby without taking a break from your acting career. That was the joke, numbnuts.

    • Aussie Mama

      when a transaction is involved, that’s what it is. ou can sugar coat it and give it whatever name you like, but at the end of the day, that’s what happened.

  20. Marshall Stacks

    What agony of loss is the ‘gestational carrier’ going through, when this event is plastered everywhere?
    How much money takes away that pain?
    But really, it is lovely of them to help the unemployment situation by needing another Nanny, and I am really really hanging for them to post a photo of Nic breastfeeding the infant.

    • mountain101

      she cant her body didnt carry the baby so none of the other physical processes can occur throughout the rest of the body.

  21. Aussie Mama

    don’t worry andriya, some people take everything waaaay to literally and can’t see humor in anything. i come here for the laughs and that’s it.

  22. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Baby
    frierster
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks much more feminine than she is, and she is masculine…

  23. Dee

    Who writes article like this, they must be jealous and bitter people. I cannot imagine saying things like what was written in this article and being able to live with myself. Keith and Nicole are beautiful people inside and out and am so happy they brought two beautiful daughters in this world. If Nicole uses botox it sure works, she is absolutely beautiful, in fact, I’d like a ton of it !!!.

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