Nicolas Cage gets a naked visitor and not the good kind

By: The Superficial / October 3, 2007
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An Orange County tailor Robert Furo Jr. was arrested for burglary after he broke into Nicolas Cage’s house early Monday morning. FOX News reports:

Cage called a security guard at his gated community around 1:30 a.m. Monday after he saw a man wandering inside his home and wearing one of the actor’s jackets, police Lt. Craig Fox said.

Cage was upstairs with his wife and son, and reported seeing the man standing at the door of a bathroom.

“He was standing there naked — except for the leather jacket,” Fox said.

The guard called police, and when officers arrived Cage had already asked the man to take off the jacket and escorted him outside “without struggle,” Fox said.

Robert Furo Jr., if you’re reading this, I just have one simple question: How in the hell do you confuse “Go beat up Nicolas Cage for making Ghost Rider” with “Stand in Nicolas Cage’s house buck-ass naked and wear his jacket?” I mean, yeah, it’s creative, but you still could’ve at least kicked him in the nuts or something. Then kind of dangled your own in front of him, which would’ve been a greater viewing experience than Ghost Rider. In fact, in comparison, your sac should win an Oscar. For those of you who think I’m exaggerating, go watch the movie today and I defy you to say that seeing a strange, middle-aged man genitals would not be more entertaining. Think of it as homework. I’m like one of those awesome teachers on TV except I talk about balls a lot – which makes me more awesomer.