Nicolas Cage and The Fudgesicle Bandit

September 15th, 2011 // 28 Comments

“To this day, I’ll never understand why he only left the Creamsicles… *chokes up* Can we do this another time?”

While promoting his new movie Trespass at the Toronto Film Festival, Nicolas Cage opened up about the time an intruder broke into his house and violated the sanctity of his frozen treats. Via Huffington Post:

“It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed,” he told reporters on Wednesday.
“I know it sounds funny … but it was horrifying.”
A Fudgesicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.
Cage said the ordeal ended after he talked the man out of the house and police arrived. He did not press charges, as the man had mental problems, but Cage, who now lives in Nassau, Bahamas, said he could not stay in the house after that.

Later, Nicolas Cage realized it wasn’t an intruder, but just his own reflection in the mirror again and laughed because eating Fudgesicles naked should’ve been the first clue. Fortunately, he didn’t do anything crazy like light the house on fire and buy a new one because the old one’s tainted now. No, sir, Nicolas Cage knows the value of a dollar, and that value is dinosaur skulls.

Photo: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. “What are you DOING?? All you left was the STICK!”

  2. Nicolas Cage Naked Man Home Invader Fudgesicle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait, are these more of Weston’s ‘Move’ pictures? I love these things!”

  3. this would have been the story of the week if he woke up being fudged with that sicle

  4. he told the burglar “fuck off, like totally, fer sure”

    • I’m sorry…but did he just explain what a “Fudgesicle” is?

    • chainsawbuzzkill

      Thank you, Huffpo, for that hard-hitting fudgesicle expose.

      • TomFrank

        It wasn’t HuffPo—because it never is! (Seriously, do they ever write their own stuff?) It came from a Reuters article, and between their British ownership and the article’s Canadian dateline, it’s possible that one or both of those countries don’t know what a Fudgsicle is. Or how to spell it (only one e, at the end)—but then, Americans seem to make that mistake, too.

  5. Don’t celebrities have security, this happens all the time. I know these people have “mental problems”, but sheesh, can they not get it together for two seconds to take the good stuff like jewelry and cash so they can buy all the fudgicles they want?

  6. Venom

    Sounds like Kanye West got naked and drunk and wandered into the wrong house.

  7. He’s lucky the guy wasn’t a walnut bandit.

  8. Angus

    You have to read between the lines of Nic’s story. Naked man wearing leather= Nic’s gay lover and fudgesicle= Nic’s dick.

  9. zomgbie

    as long as he didnt break in and take the bees!
    NOT THE BEES!!!!!!

  10. “I’ll trade you that Fudgesicle for THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!!!!”

  11. Nicolas Cage Naked Man Home Invader Fudgesicle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at my eyes, not my flagrantly obvious hair plugs!”

  12. The Brown Streak

    Thanks for the clarification Huffington Post. I never knew what a fudgesicle was.

  13. forrest gump

    there is something serious wrong with his sperm.
    ………..LOOK AT HIS SON, folks!!

  14. Mat

    If the guy was wearing a leather jacket, he wasn’t really naked anymore, was he?

  15. He couldn’t stay in the house after that…because the bank locked him out.

  16. Nicolas Cage Naked Man Home Invader Fudgesicle
    That One Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    When I was in High School, my Print Graphics teacher told me a story how his aunt was a landlady who ran an apartment building that had a room rented out by Nicolas Cage and 2 of his friends.

    She was talking to them one day when they were moving a Fridge in (or out?) of the apartment and they sort of fumbled and the Fridge tipped to one side and out of the freezer fell a fully grown frozen dead Beaver.

    He said she lost her shit and evicted them on the spot.

  17. I’d worry more about the blue velvet jacket.

  18. The intruder was lucky it was a Fudgesickle. I don’t know why, but Nicolas Cage just seems like the kind of guy who would freeze his own poo and maybe put it on a stick.

  19. He was just jealous because he knows even a naked, Fudgecicle-eating sociopath is a better actor than he is.

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