Nicolas Cage Sounds Like a Great Dad

May 11th, 2011 // 19 Comments

“Did someone just open up a Detective Comics #27? Because I’d drop a baby to read that.”

RadarOnline has obtained the 911 call leading up to Nicolas Cage‘s drunken arrest that the New Orleans District Attorney’s office has decided to ignore because all the cool kids are letting celebrities off. Anyway, here are the parental stylings of Nic Cage:

The witness told the 911 operator: “There’s a terrible emergency going on across the street involving a child, a man that’s out of control screaming, ‘let me in, let me in,’ and he’s holding a baby. I think he’s trying to take it from it’s mother.
“I think it’s escalated to something very bad …”
The witness went on to say: “They’re screaming and screaming, and this man I think he’s going to hurt this child and woman…
“The child is screaming … it’s very bad scene! Someone has to come.”

While this sounds genuinely horrible for everyone not sporting a liver full of bourbon, the important thing is nobody punched a baby to save its life. I think we can all agree that’s the bar we’re using to judge these situations now and label everything else as, “Haha! Kids and their crying. God love ‘em.”

Photos: Splash News


  1. Jovy

    He’s a terrible actor as well. Just sayin.

  2. Worst 911 call logic ever. man holding a baby pounding on the door yelling to let him in…I think he’s trying to take the baby from its mother.

    Nice one…you fail 911.

  3. MILF

    Spelling FAIL, Fish! “Kids and they’re crying”…??? Or is it photoboy hopped up on that booze The Situation was hawking?

    • TomFrank

      Why didn’t you mention the it’s/its mistake he made, too: “nobody punched a baby to save it’s life.” What’s that? You didn’t notice it? Grammar cop FAIL, MILF.

      • catapostrophe

        TomFrank, you’re still off the mark. The correct phrase would be “nobody punched a baby to save HER life,” as the sex of the “baby” is known.

        Why didn’t you mention that? You obviously noticed it; but you obviously don’t understand proper grammar.

        Apologies accepted in advance.

    • TomFrank

      I didn’t mention it because I didn’t post to get all grammar-cop on Fish myself; I posted to point out that MILF had no business pointing fingers.

      As for the sex of the baby being known—wait, which baby are we talking about? Kal-El Cage (male) or Lucia Gibson (female)? Hmmm…maybe “its” wasn’t such a bad choice of words after all, since assigning a gender would have made it more awkward.

      In any case, I don’t see the need for an apology, so don’t be expecting one.

    • grammerdood37

      No, “their crying” is right. As in “The grammar police and their dilettante obsessions.”

  4. MLVC

    maybe he should attempt a real life version of Leaving Las Vegas…do the world a favor fuckface

  5. Nicolas Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    I just noticed how fake his hair is. anyone else notice that? isnt there another picture of him bald somewhere to compare this to?

  6. Rancid

    People, you need to relax. The child’s name is Ka-el, the son of Krypton. Our yellow sun makes him nearly invulnerable. You could put that baby into a trash compactor, and he wouldn’t feel it. The child was never in danger.

  7. Nicolas Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s a case study for why you don’t go to the guys who advertise on late night cable informercials.

  8. The Critical Crassness

    Nick Cage just got two of his roles stuck in his brain and combined.Now he is perpetually, “Leaving Las Vegas to Raise Arizona”! Where he hopes to lick wine off of Elisebeth Shue chest once again.

  9. he was a good dad in Kick-Ass, that bullet-proof vest scene was hollywood magic

  10. I wish this happened at one of his castles. I’ve always wanted to hear ‘moat’ used in a 911 call.

  11. I got Nathan Jr, I think. LET ME IN!

  12. I would call Nic Cage’s acting style ‘wooden’ if my fence wasn’t so damned talented.

  13. Nicolas Cage
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    He has the same hairline as the puppets in Thunderbirds.

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