Nicola McLean brings cups of holiday cheer

December 17th, 2008 // 139 Comments

Dear Santa,

Please forgive me for the short notice, but I’m writing to request a last minute alteration to my Christmas list. Please replace the following item:

A Pitt-Jolie child dressed as an Ewok complete with spear to attack my enemies.

With:

British Ultimo Lingerie model Nicola McLean despite the stretch marks that I’m sensitive and caring enough to look past because her breasts are ginormous.

My apologies again for such short notice, and I promise I won’t roofie up the cookies this year then hold your sack ransom. Wow, that came out all kinds of wrong.

The goodest boy in the whole wide world,

The Superficial Writer

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. me !

    @ 99 – what is wrong with you you mentally deficient retard? im just going to assume you are a fuckwit american and leave it at that.

  2. hot mess

    WTF Fish?!?! There’s all this freaking advertising on teh sides of this site. It’s completely annoying AND now my cover is going to be blown…I used to check yoiur site at work and now I can’t cuz it’s got all these weird beeyatches in the margins. Superficial looked like any other news site before (if youi scrolled down from tha boobage a little:) . PLEASE GET RID OF THE ADVERTISING! I will send you money (cold hard monopoly cash) if you do.

  3. i have no idea who she is, but she’s now on my top MILF’s list under Shauna Sand

  4. Amanda

    hey guys !!we are talking about that all day .we should have some other life styles ,yes? Somedays ago i saw a website http://www.sugarbabymatch.com here.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!

  5. ILuVditavonteese

    Who the fuck is this nobody and what’s up with the stretch marks? I don’t care how thin/in shape you are. Showing the stretch marks is a big NO NO!!!

  6. ILuVditavonteese

    Who the fuck is this nobody and what’s up with the stretch marks? I don’t care how thin/in shape you are. Showing the stretch marks is a big NO NO!!!

  7. lisica

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  8. dew

    Haha, Tara Reid with a nasty boob job, ratty extensions, spray on tan, stretch marks, and BLUE fingernails with a red outfit. The Brits have some lovely women, but this certainly isn’t one of them.

  9. dude

    Ew. Instead of London, I think I’ll do Fiji this winter.

    Ew.

  10. Drunkman

    It’s this girl’s job to look hot and she doesn’t.

    This is like when an NFL kicker misses a 40 yard field goal.

  11. fearsarewishes

    Dear Yank and Wank…

    You and your frog buddies would sound very sophisticated speaking German in your respective elegant accents.

    Please go stick your tongue in Madonna’s super tight bungy.

    Thank you!

  12. AbsolutNico

    strech marks

  13. ACriminalSmile

    For anyone calling these stretch marks “hideous deformations,” you should go to http://www.shapeofamother.com. Seriously. These aren’t bad in the least.

  14. lisica

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  15. SATAN

    somethin about her stretch marks almost makes me lust for her vagina even more

  16. Joe

    I’ll never understand the OPEN MOUTH poses. What is she a fly catcher?

    And now we must have a shortage of “bimbo models” cause they are taking them with stretchmarks and c-section scars?

    Nice if that’s your baby mama…not for sex ads!

  17. sensitive guy

    Honestly, guys, are you telling me you’d turn that down? you’re SOOO full of shit. She’s a real women, with really big (though not all real) tits, a beautiful smile, glowing eyes… a sensational ass… and, if you look closely in the final picture… a little bit of seasonal ‘reindeer toe’

    I’d climb over your wife to get to this woman.

  18. ACriminalSmile

    That’s probably not a c-section scar. MIGHT be an appendectomy scar, but the scar isn’t long enough to be c-section. Most c-sections are now done below the bikini line, as well.

  19. greeneyes

    what a skank, she gives us english girls a bad name, give us jordan any day……those stretchmarks need some serious bio oil on them………….

  20. greeneyes

    what a skank, she gives us english girls a bad name, give us jordan any day……those stretchmarks need some serious bio oil on them………….

  21. Jibbly Biggins

    Wow you weirdos. Stretch marks are normal. I got mine when I was between ten and twelve years old and I wasn’t even overweight. Some people just have skin that is more prone to them than others.

  22. Barry O

    Her tummy looks like Hurricane Katrina’s satellite picture.

    But I’d still hit that, ATM, after a long draw.

  23. my comment

    Bubble head whore in blue nail polish, putrid red outfit, stretch marks galore, and a c-section scar too if I am correct.

    A total disaster. I feel sorry for her kid.

  24. L

    Well, dear GOD.

    If there ever was a time when the double-standard-injustice of womanhood ever seemed particularly unjust, reading through many of these comments just drove it home.

    I’m really looking forward to my 40th birthday in 16 years– otherwise known as “the year when I will lose all worth as a human being,” apparently. God forbid if I should ever have a child and get stretch marks! Because what man could EVER love a woman who doesn’t have the body of an 18-year-old?

    Let’s review what “Bill” has to say:

    “She has a 2 year old son, so obviously she got unlikely in terms of stretch marks. She needs to accept her fate, be a good mom, and cover that shit up. She’s a whore who had a bastard son, so she’s going to have to hope for some eager-to-please guy who’ll tell her total lies about not caring about her disgusting scarred up collapsed stomach. Probably a momma’s boy who’s still fixated on boobs and will never really achieve adult sexuality. But good looking guys? Not a chance. She’s only 27 and she’s got the beat-up-and-partially-reconstructed Ms. Frankenstein body of a 40-year-old recently divorced and desperate to grab another guy before it’s too late. There were at least a dozen 27 year olds with much better bodies in the immediate vicinity of that photo shoot.”

    Dear Bill,

    Please enjoy the fading dregs of delusional mid-life crisis that have convinced you that this woman’s body is that of a 40-year-old. There are 3 billion women in the world who don’t look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.

    It’s absolutely pathetic that you’ve convinced yourself that any man who could possibly love a woman with stretch marks (or *gasp*– a “bastard child”) is a “momma’s boy.”

    Gotta love the false bravado of the Internet. I hope in real life you try to fake SOME semblance of maturity or intelligence.

  25. barry

    wow so hot ! i aslo tell you another good place !Somedays ago i saw a website…………www.sugarbabymatch.com………….. here.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!

  26. Kahlee

    @124 I completely agree with you honey, but coming to the Superficial comments pages to get an insight into what most men think is like judgeing all of America by how Paris Hilton acts.

    Most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen is Italian actress Monica Bellucci. Shes a mother in her 40s. True beauty lasts.

  27. Kahlee

    @96 no television was first invented by scotsman John Logie Baird , (a Brit).

  28. sor

    Some people need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN in here. It’s ridiculous to get so worked up over such a trivial matter as a superficial post. Anyways, thank #124! I think that needed to be said.

  29. Every male posting commentary on here would b@ng this broad in a heartbeart.
    .02

  30. J

    So guys, which is it?

    You blast all the photoshopped pictures that get posted on this site, yet bitch and moan when someone comes up less-than-perfect in non-airbrushed photos. You can’t have it both ways.

  31. Kahlee

    There’s good news and there is bad news. First, the bad news: I have a yeast infection, so I can’t go out and troll for customers in the middle of the highway; no whoring for Kahlee. And now, the good news: I’ve been wearing the same underpants over my moist furry pelt with its hairy wet cunt lips ever since the infection started, and I’ve strained the most delicious yogurt out of them!!! Mmmm, nummy num num!!!

  32. erik

    YIKES! She is REALLY not attractive. Looks like a stripper in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

  33. Santa, santa. I have a present for you. Misa Campo is being mind raped by someone in DSPORT. Santa, santa. I want a present. I want you to save her from doom. They think she is the twice blessed woman. Wikens, are you know… trying to f* her… MISA CAMPO IS VERY GORGEOUS! Please give dark coals to DSPORT.COM… for protecting… arseholes* DITHER IMAGES, AND KILL US ALL?!?!? FIGURE THAT OUT SANTA.. SANTA…

    DAQ

  34. SANTA… SANTA.. PARDON THE INTERUPTION:

    DSPORT DOES NOT APPRECIATE TAN GIRLS, BUT DON’T KNOW THE SECRET TO BLOOD. LATINS HAVE BLACK BLOOD. I THINK… just look at their vagina. If its dark, its dark…
    Black people are originals. And the traitor is not…. THE NEW IRON MAN’S PARTNER.

    THEY OWE ME A MAGAZINE OF MISA CAMPO. I AM NOT A STALKER, BUT THE WORLD WANTED ME TO BE A STALKER. BECAUSE i am THE QUADROPELL BLESSED MAN, AND THE AVATARS SEEK ME.

    CER

    AND DAMNIT PARIS HILTON. You better not use Eminen/M&M for money, he wants true love.

    reckheart

  35. bitingontinfoil

    Vitamin E would have helped with those stretchmarks.

  36. bitingontinfoil

    @ #126…AGREED re: Monica Belluci – beautiful! I could only HOPE to look that good!

  37. Wow, this is a very hot photo and a lucky Santa to be sure…
    Yet as a woman I would not want the back aches nor the boobs down to me knees…. in a few years of course..
    Lori

  38. Oh, before anyone mentions that it is a mechanical TV and CRT that was invented by a German place I wanted to remind us that the U.S. Patent half the world TV and telephone .. And like all good things invented wear Simon Cowell! Tally guys are!

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