Dear Santa,
Please forgive me for the short notice, but I’m writing to request a last minute alteration to my Christmas list. Please replace the following item:
A Pitt-Jolie child dressed as an Ewok complete with spear to attack my enemies.
With:
British Ultimo Lingerie model Nicola McLean despite the stretch marks that I’m sensitive and caring enough to look past because her breasts are ginormous.
My apologies again for such short notice, and I promise I won’t roofie up the cookies this year then hold your sack ransom. Wow, that came out all kinds of wrong.
The goodest boy in the whole wide world,
The Superficial Writer
Photos: WENN
Max Power | December 17, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Beat face and stretch marks. Awful.
Tim | December 17, 2008 at 1:23 pm
The British ones are always heifers.
Jimmy | December 17, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Mom! Mom! Mom! The toy Santa brought me is BUSTED!
Jumpin_J | December 17, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I gotta get me one of those.
Obama the Messiah | December 17, 2008 at 1:25 pm
She looks like my wife. Except for the fake tits that is.
Ted from East St. Louis | December 17, 2008 at 1:26 pm
She looks like a dipshit with a face made for radio.
Holyfuck | December 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm
What is up with all these over-the-top, hiddeous british skanks? And why does it seem like there is a Brit on every TV show these days? Don’t get me wrong, I love the Brits but not when they’re force fed to us. Enough already, Jesus.
necessaryROUGHness | December 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Is that C-section scar? whats with those brittish fame seekers and big fake boobs?
Vince Lombardi | December 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Santa, you lucky bastard!
sla | December 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Her boobs are huge, but those cups are still too big. And probably stuffed with chicken cutlets.
And the stretch marks… WTF? These look like professional photos and if there was ever a time for photoshop, this is it.
Em | December 17, 2008 at 1:33 pm
You know, there comes a point (which usually coincides with the development of stretch marks) where a woman really should say to herself, “maybe I’m just not lingerie model material anymore.” And that point for Tits McGee up top there was reached a decade ago. Would someone please tell her to go home and take care of the obvious litter of mini-whores that she birthed at some point?
Andy | December 17, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Dear Santa,
Please don’t bring me an aging cow for Christmas.
Thanks,
Andy
ToTellTheTruth | December 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Santa looks like he’s saying “please dont let me bust a nut on my pants in front of the kids!!”
hollywood_hillbilly | December 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm
You could definitely go ass to mouth on this one.
Rick | December 17, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I wish she’d pull those shorts down and bend over so that we can see her hemorrhoids.
ToTellTheTruth | December 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm
..wonder if her stretch marks glow in the dark????
ToTellTheTruth | December 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm
..wonder if her stretch marks glow in the dark????
necessaryROUGHness | December 17, 2008 at 1:44 pm
What the hell?? backwood bitch that comment is unlike you! explain your comment,,,im going to pretend youve been with a woman!
george | December 17, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Hmmm ugly implant gap with huge hard breasts. Um yeah what a turn on!
Dana | December 17, 2008 at 1:48 pm
stretch marks
CaptainMorgan | December 17, 2008 at 1:48 pm
This is one that Daisy will have to skip. There is a desperate NEED for Photoshop here.
If I was an exec. for the company she is modelling for, I’d fire the guy she slept with to get the job. This is BAD.
Danklin24 | December 17, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Holy shit this chick is ugly. I think she hit every fucking branch of the ugly tree.
Kelley | December 17, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Red outfit, fake tits, blue fingernails, bad form !!!
Dixie | December 17, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I think it is great the UK show what some models truly look like without airbrushing. Everyone has flaws, including models, but they are most always airbrushed.
MonkeyMan777 | December 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm
*hork*
I just threw up.
IT I need a new keyboard STAT!
RichPort's Ghost | December 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I hate to admit it, but Tara Reid looks a little better after rehab…
insom | December 17, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Supposedly she’s only 27.
Jrz | December 17, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I’ve seen more realistic tits on mannequins.
Hadda Nuff | December 17, 2008 at 1:59 pm
She makes lingerie look cheap and nasty like it needs to be burned in a hot fire. If she continues this for a living, she should put some makeup on those stretch marks before she ends up out of work because she’s not good at this. She should turn tricks or/and do porn instead. She could learn a thing or two from Britney on the proper way to successfully skank for megacash.
Queef | December 17, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Looks like reindeer sloppy seconds.
Typical euro trash……
Kayleigh C | December 17, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Shut up! She’s beautiful and so what she’s got stretch marks, don’t you all? Her body is banging and she’s beautiful breasts. Haters.
dr goodbody | December 17, 2008 at 2:05 pm
These have not been shopped.
Pete | December 17, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Santa wondered if a leather purse had fallen out of her stuffed bra but then he realized it was her stomach rubbing up against him.
Fernanado Narcos | December 17, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Even British ReallDolls are fugtastic…
smoking burned out eyesockets | December 17, 2008 at 2:10 pm
i’d hit it
yummy | December 17, 2008 at 2:12 pm
^^^^ here’s the picture Fish left out. Note that it’s her, wearing the black bra.
Who's Horny? | December 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm
The Fish can have her. Those tits are not worth having to look at the rest of that shit.
Trevor | December 17, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I think the stretch marks on this model made a lot of females happy today knowing that one does not have to be perfect to be considered sexy.
Pathetic Worm | December 17, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I’d have sex with Nicola McClean but I’d use Santa as a contraceptive.
And I’d be thinking about Santa. That slut Santa… in his sexy wellies…
elva | December 17, 2008 at 2:21 pm
(?_?)(?_?)??__Mixedloving.c o m__?? This is a particular place for single hot ladies and handsome guys looking for their love or friends of different races all around the world! Welcome to Join us and have your own profile to start chatting with them online right now! That is totally free!(?_?)(?_?)
mixedmartialartvideos.com | December 17, 2008 at 2:23 pm
who is this chick?
CaptObvious | December 17, 2008 at 2:24 pm
You guys realise she probably just had a baby, right? Yeah, she could probably throw some make-up on that shit since she’s a model, but you’d have to be queer to think the rest of her don’t look good.
Also, enjoy the added MILF-status. mmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm,
Justin | December 17, 2008 at 2:24 pm
The beautiful British girls with natural bodies > the British girls with a lot of work done. Why Lucy Pinder, Michelle Marsh, or Eva Wyrwal aren’t asked to do these things instead of Jordan, Danielle Lloyd, or Jodie Marsh is beyond me.
Also: McLean had 32Es and had them enhanced to 32Gs. That bothers me.
CaptObvious | December 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm
You guys realise she probably just had a baby, right? Yeah, she could probably throw some make-up on that shit since she’s a model, but you’d have to be queer to think the rest of her don’t look good.
Also, enjoy the added MILF-status. mmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm,
buckeyedg | December 17, 2008 at 2:26 pm
British words of wisdom:
“You should never look at the mantlepiece while poking the fire”
In other news… i think some of those marks are just from the costume pressing in. C-section scar is a possibility but its off center considering the placement its likely from something else… .
buckeyedg | December 17, 2008 at 2:27 pm
British words of wisdom:
“You should never look at the mantlepiece while poking the fire”
In other news… i think some of those marks are just from the costume pressing in. C-section scar is a possibility but its off center considering the placement its likely from something else… .
Bill | December 17, 2008 at 2:32 pm
She has a 2 year old son, so obviously she got unlikely in terms of stretch marks. She needs to accept her fate, be a good mom, and cover that shit up. She’s a whore who had a bastard son, so she’s going to have to hope for some eager-to-please guy who’ll tell her total lies about not caring about her disgusting scarred up collapsed stomach. Probably a momma’s boy who’s still fixated on boobs and will never really achieve adult sexuality. But good looking guys? Not a chance. She’s only 27 and she’s got the beat-up-and-partially-reconstructed Ms. Frankenstein body of a 40-year-old recently divorced and desperate to grab another guy before it’s too late. There were at least a dozen 27 year olds with much better bodies in the immediate vicinity of that photo shoot.
Andrea | December 17, 2008 at 2:37 pm
If you click on #36′s link, or simply google “Daily Mail Nicola McLean” you’ll get the full story and full set of pictures. And you’ll definitely NOT say she’s hot. The whole thing is kind of disturbing, like shaved-head Britney when she was taking handfuls of Adderall and laxatives and going out all the time.
davina wengren | December 17, 2008 at 2:39 pm
i think she is a decent looking woman. However- the stretch marks need to be hidden. I am a mother and i have stretch marks and you wouldnt catch me dead in a bikini now. even though i have my body back, i have stretch marks on my tummy and im not about to throw on a belly shirt and show the world my battle scars.
Nicola's son | December 17, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Dear Santa,
For Christmas all I want is some Matchbox race cars. Mommy already has the track (on her stomach).
Thank you.