Nicky Hilton fights crime. Who knew?

February 24th, 2009 // 48 Comments

Nicky Hilton was reportedly attacked over the weekend at a West Hollywood IHOP. Authorities say a homeless man pushed her to the ground prompting her to open a can and put him under citizen’s arrest – right in front of the cops. E! News reports:

L.A. County sheriff spokesman Steve Whitmore tells E! News the 25-year-old Hilton was at the front door of the pancake purveyor around 4:50 a.m. when she was shoved in the back.
“One of our deputies was in the IHOP…and heard a commotion,” Whitmore says. “He went outside to investigate and discovered that Ms. Nicky Hilton was pushed from behind.”
Hilton was more insulted than injured and–we’re not making this up–placed the perp under citizen’s arrest, which Whitmore says was unncessary, since a deputy was already present.

That’s like peeing on a house fire after the fire department just put it out. Which I heroically do all the time. Ladies?

EDIT: I added a pic of the “homeless man” and you’re not fooling anyone, Chris Brown. But good effort.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Tim

    Obviously she stomped him with her enormous mutant feet.

  2. Richard McBeef

    I would her before paris.

  3. jizzle

    Nicky Hilton is about to smack a bitch.

  4. S. Z

    poor paris, nicky is just amazing and she’s …

    well, like pamela now.

  5. Wow, she gives new meaning to long arm of the law…that guy will be real popular at the Homeless shelter, being place under citizen arrest by a twig…

  6. I’d push her in her behind….with my penis.

  7. Sarah

    Damn, that’s one of the cleanest looking LA homeless dudes I’ve ever seen.

  8. Parker

    She’s even dumber than her sister. I’d put her under citizens arrest then sentence her to a half hour of anal sex. Then I’d suspend the sentence because I’d be afraid I’d catch something while carrying it out.

  9. Danklin24

    Damn she’s lookin good but damn is she stupid. Citizen arrests are absolutely worthless. WTF are you going to detain him with, a hair scrunchy?

  10. Anistonlove

    Needless to say, she has very cute looking!! lots pretty chicks like her should be very famous on the ta ll da ting site: ___TallMingl e Co m___. Maybe she can join to attend the sexy session to attract ta ll guys!! at least, that’s what my bros and i happen to know!!

  11. Misty

    She paid him to do it.

  12. Deacon Jones

    Hmm, Horseface junior is actually looking fuckable in this pic.

    I’m with Parker, 1/2 hour anal sex, discard in river

  13. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    I don’t mind this Hilton. She seems normal, and probably isn’t totally dripping with disease. She doesn’t stage photo-ops with photographers, she doesn’t party like a fucktard, she has a job & no porno to date. Good for you Nicky Hilton!

  14. Photoshop Police

    Citizen’s Arrest! Citizen’s Arrest!

    someone had to do it.

  15. Misty

    @15…That was great. Thanks!

  16. Jennyjenjen

    Parker, what’s up with the constant anal talk? Some might see that as a little homoerotic…

  17. Yup!

    @17…Except for the fact that Parker has only made anal references about woman so I don’t how know how anyone would take that as homoerotic. ?????

  18. Funny, I didn’t know Mark Hamill was homeless.

  19. p0nk

    Parker shares his parents’ basement with his dad’s 10 year archive of Penthouse mags. Normal is relative.

    So you can be arrested in LA for pushing somebody? Murder (OJ, Robert Blake) and child molestation (Michael Jackson) are ok, but don’t push a Hilton.

  20. Jrz

    “Um, officer! He pushed me!”
    You don’t make a citizen’s arrest for that… punch people in the face when they do that…Jesus, grow a set you stupid bitch.

  21. Jennyjenjen

    Parker is fixated on doing a “girl” from behind, anally. He doesn’t need any of the female bits, therefore homoerotic.

  22. 10pound

    Whats a socialite doing at an IHOP?

    I’m calling PR shenanigans.

    Oh…and she looks like a shit I took this morning.

  23. The Gregor

    Nobody puts Flapjack in the corner!

  24. Deacon Jones

    Parker’s a hit and run anal commenter Jen, you’re not going to get him going.

    We have something in common, I was a hit and run anal rapist in college

  25. Parker

    @Jennyjenjen, I took the time to check the dictionary for you. Of course your usage was incorrect but I could overlook that. Your attempt to create a definition that fits your misunderstanding is something I could not overlook.

    ho·mo·e·rot·ic (h?’m?-?-r?t’?k)
    1. Of or concerning homosexual love and desire.
    2. Tending to arouse such desire.

    Further, I question your implied assertion that a woman’s ass is the same as a mans but having had experience only with the female form I’ll have to defer judegement until such time you retract this assertion or provide details to support it such as some first-hand comparisons carried out with a recognizably scientific methodology.

    And @20 Penthouse is so lame. If my dad had any thing like that it’d be something cool like Juggs or Big Ass Babes.

  26. annie

    I recommend you a very interesting place ___MillionaireLoving co m_____ It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!

  27. Deacon Jones

    I’m a big fan of SWANK personally.

    Regular porn just doesnt cut it anymore

  28. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    I’m sure Nicky’s ass is nice & clean. If you hit that, well you better sully her image & video record that shit.

  29. Mike Hawk

    Fight crime? Like a traffic cop? Cause Lord knows that face could stop it.

  30. Jennyjenjen

    Looks like I hit a sore spot Parker! Keep up the denials, you are only fooling yourself.

  31. Parker

    I find SKANK to be bold yet unrefined. Like those late night movies on Skinemax. Yes, every page is flesh-colored, but for that more discerning among chicken choking pudwhackers, skin alone does not a mien man’s mag make. No, to these captious connoisseurs, a woman, being a sum of parts, should have a mag for each of her individual parts, thus Assmania, Beaver Country, Juggs, etc. Ergo, the object of man’s desire is not the woman herself but only one particular part of her. Which part will vary depending on both his socioeconomic standing and his highest free throw score.

  32. bob

    This Hilton clearly got the better end of the gene pool.

  33. Parker

    When I read what I wrote I saw no denials, only questions about your childish leaps of logic. Your bad, haha! On the other hand, I’m so sorry your one-track mind will never leave the playground where it stopped developing. Tell me, is every man who never looked at you a closet homo? You know, on a higher level, it’s tragic what people like you have to go through but on the bright side, your limited understanding of what goes on around you should lighten the burdens of your rather marginal existence.

  34. Jennyjenjen


  35. @25
    I’m not hit and run. Sometimes I do diatribes or how-to’s and once in a while I’ll even throw in a short story or dialogue. But those are only on everyone’s lucky days.

  36. @25
    I’m not hit and run. Sometimes I do diatribes or how-to’s and once in a while I’ll even throw in a short story or dialogue. But those are only on everyone’s lucky days.

  37. @25
    I’m not hit and run. Sometimes I do diatribes or how-to’s and once in a while I’ll even throw in a short story or dialogue. But those are only on everyone’s lucky days.

  38. @25
    I’m not hit and run. Sometimes I do diatribes or how-to’s and once in a while I’ll even throw in a short story or dialogue. But those are only on everyone’s lucky days.

  39. @25
    I’m not hit and run. Sometimes I do diatribes or how-to’s and once in a while I’ll even throw in a short story or dialogue. But those are only on everyone’s lucky days.

  40. Mike Hawk

    talk about stopping traffic…Thanks Parker.

  41. sin

    The cleaner one going to an IHOP? Staged publicity stunt. But what does Nicky do and what does she gain by this exposure?

    her sister supports CRIME!!

  43. It's NO Surprise


    She looks like a Tranny..I’d be afraid of her too.

    If need be..she could always hold any perpetrator down with her bigazz size 12 plus Gorilla feet.

  44. Richard McBeef

    Anybody who argues about how not gay they are anonymously on the internet is totally gay. Parker embrace your feelings.

  45. ishi-san

    @ the Parker-gay discussion: *hahaha* that’s what you get for trying to be the ‘cool’ kid talking about ass-f****

  46. Parker

    @45 et al.,
    Anybody who tells someone to embrace their gay feelings already knows how nice it feels to do that. Kudos to ya.

  47. I do not mind this Hilton. It seems to be normal, and probably not entirely sweat disease. He did not step in photo ops with the photographers, not party is working and not porn.

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