Nicky Hilton doesn’t like Mischa Barton

February 1st, 2006 // 69 Comments

*nicki_hilton_thumb1.jpgNicky Hilton is Paris Hilton’s less-talented sister. Let that settle in your brain for a moment. Being less talented than Paris Hilton is like being less hilarious than Schindler’s List. You think she’d be happy just to be alive, but no. When she and Mischa Barton arrived separately for manager Benny Medina’s 48th-birthday party at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Saturday night, Nicky spat out, “What is that fat pig doing here?” She then went to the other side of the room where she glared at Rick Salomon, who made the infamous porn tape with her sister Paris. Other guests at the party happily partied ’til the wee hours.

Nicky went on to call Shaquille O’Neal a midget and mocked Stephen Hawking for dancing poorly. Fortunately I know very little about Nicky Hilton, but she seems like the kind of girl who in school would accidentally glue her hands to her face and then try to blame it on the hamsters. But as for Mischa, if the worst thing that can be said about her is that she’s fat, then she must be some sort of saint. Saint Fatass.



  1. Justin Cider

    So I’m a bit confused on the order of talent here.. Let me see if I have this correct..

    Order of talent from most talented to least.

    1. Paris Hilton
    2. Nicky Hilton
    3. Peter Jackson
    4. The Cast of the O.C. minus Peter Gallagher
    5.Frank Zappa

  2. PinkRose

    Nicky glared at Rick Soloman? If I were her, I would gone up to him and smacked the shit out of him. If you had she done that, she would of scored points in my book despite all the lame things she said.

  3. Kitchy

    How can she be MORE stupid than Paris. Wow, Paris got the brains,looks, Talent and cool name of the family . . .(cough*)Were there any other children or were those abortions successful?

    Do you think Nicole Ritchie lost weight when she stopped hanging around Paris? Was that about the time all of Paris’ little dogs stopped magically disappearing? Just wondering…

    We need to do a Broadway remake of Little House on the Prairie that casts Paris & Nicky, Nicole Ritchie, Kate Moss,Anna Nicole, Kimberly Stewart, Lindsay Lohan & K-Fed. Danny Barnaduchi can play Mr. Ingalls. I smell Tony! (and he smells like crank, spunk and old cheese)

  4. It was probably dark at the party. Maybe Nicky mistook Mischa for Kirstie Alley. Or maybe it WAS Kirstie Alley, but everybody ELSE thought it was Mischa Barton.

  5. sikofdis

    Justin…you could not be more wrong about Zappa…he was way talented. You just don’t get it, which is fine…I won’t cop to being a huge fan, or to “getting” most of his stuff either. But show a little respect for the guy for at least standing up to the government in the music censorship hearings in the mid-late 80′s. And why even bring him up anyway? You’re just bitter cause you got flamed by spamnews and DrDanny in the Lisa Loeb posts yesterday, and besides, her connection to FZ is tenuous at best…she dated his son, douche. Saying Paris Hilton is more talented than Frank is like saying K-Fed is more talented than your mom at cum-yodeling.

  6. PapaHotNuts

    If Nicky thinks Mischa is fat, then I guess she’ll believe that I actually have a 4 inch long penis. I WISH!

  7. Justin Cider

    Crap you are right… I need to update my list…

    1. Paris Hilton
    2. Nicky Hilton
    3. Peter Jackson
    4. The O.C.
    5. K-Fed
    6. Frank Zappa

    thanks for the head’s up sikofdis

  8. ESQ

    I actually thought Nicky was the more in control out of the two. At least she has half a brain in her head to not get into the shit her sister does. I think she held her dignity with Rick or he probably would have punched her out, something I would not put past him. Maybe Mischa reminded her of the article that Nicky read about her wearing white pants after Labor Day and getting her period all over them?

  9. HollyJ

    Is it even POSSIBLE that Nicky could be stupid enough to not see that Mischa needs to eat a biscuit (or twenty)? Maybe Nicky needs lasik. Or a brainstem. Or a new face, god help the troll.

    Or maybe she knew that the only way to trully torture an anorexic is to publically call them “fat.”

    Wasn’t Paris all excited to hook up a camera with a known womanizer to make a sex flick? If Paris had been unaware of being filmed, that would constitute reason for Nicky to glare; however, Paris was spread out like Cirque de Soleil with a huge Christy Brinkley smile.

  10. SMF121490

    My list for least talented
    1. Paris Hilton
    2. Nicky Hilton
    3. Anna Nicole Smith
    4. That British Jordan chick
    5. Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham)

    I also think Frank Zappa was very talented. He is an American icon.
    I also think that Nicky is just a bitter hag. She isn’t as famous as her dumbass sister, she is always in Paris’ shadow, and no one cares about who she is or what she says. She is the left over Hilton. No one would know if she just dropped off the face of Mother Earth.

  11. suzy

    what are you people talking about…

    ok, yes, she’s the younger Hilton, but I think she’s the smarter one.

    So she went and said shit about someone, we do that all the time. But if you want to know something about Nicky.. then here…

    she got married at 19 or 20 to her best friend who was like 32… found out it was a mistake and they got divorced but are friends now… SHE LEARNED FROM THAT!!!

    but she also went to school and she’s a designer now… she could have just done it with out going to school but she did… she wanted to make something of herself without having people think that she was just given it to her… and she knows that her last name helped…

    but at least Nicky can say a sentence without pausing or looking like a total airhead like Paris.. Nicky for the most part doesn’t like all the attention that Paris likes.. but she’s not stupid… Paris is the retarded one.

  12. playahater101

    Kitchy, they have another younger brother. We’ll be seeing him soon I am sure.

    Posted by SMF121490 on February 1, 2006 10:56 AM

    I also think that Nicky is just a bitter hag. She isn’t as famous as her dumbass sister, she is always in Paris’ shadow, and no one cares about who she is or what she says. She is the left over Hilton. No one would know if she just dropped off the face of Mother Earth.

    I couldn’t have said it better myself!!!

  13. Whatup

    Whore in training

  14. CoJo

    suzy are you serious?

    I agree. Nicky is the smarter one – which doesn’t mean a thing because she’s still a dumb whore just like her sister, she’s just not dumb enough to have sex on tape, let her tits fall all over the place, allow her pussy to get photographed like a million times and get fall down drunk in public.

    She’s more than likely jealous of Mischa Barton which is why the big fat pig comment happened.

    However, “but she also went to school and she’s a designer now…” As if its that simple. “she wanted to make something of herself without having people think that she was just given it to her…” Hmmmm…who gave her the money for school? Who backed her clothing line? I’m sure she raised the money all on her own and, ya know, waitressed her way through design school.

    The only reason she went to design school was to make it look like she was really doing something. Everyone has their own fashion line – effing 50 Cent has his own fashion line and he can’t even annunciate words. BIG EFFING DEAL! If the princess really wanted to show that she’s hardworking, she could always, oh, I don’t know, WORK?

    You know who’s dumber than both of them combined – that’s right, the whore that bore each of them, their mother.

  15. sikofdis


    The air must be pretty bad in your parents basement.

  16. Larry

    Trust fund babies really have nothing at all to do. Never having had to apply themselves, their brains have atrophied and they aren’t really interested in anything of substance.

    As a result, they have little else to do to pass the time, besides getting high and having sex, but to make alliances with each other, and make war on each other, for reasons as frivolous as they themselves are.

    Hardly surprising.

    By the way, in addition to being the less talented one, Nicky is also the less attractive one. Let THAT settle on your brain for a while. Well, at least she has money.

  17. iamboredatwork

    My list of great talents:

    1. Ashley Simpson
    2. Paris Hilton
    3. Ryan Seacrest
    4. K-Fed (post papa-zao)
    5. Tara Reid

    I thank you talentless ass clowns for making me feel a little better about my own pathetic life.

  18. Misha Marton is one of the stars people mention when they say that “Hanging out with her super skinny Hollywood friends caused Lindsay Lohans Bullemia” The girl is so small that you can see the pores in her bones. Niki Hilton needs to think of a better insult for people she doesn’t like. Something like “You remind me of ME!” There, that’ll show em Nik!

  19. Realistic

    She glared at Rick all night because she was pissed that he cut her parts out of the video.

  20. Sunlight

    I’m sorry, but my mind is turned off of Mischa Barton ever since those heavy flow images from a couple of weeks ago.

  21. Nicky Hilton calling Mischa Barton fat…

    Hi Pot. This is Kettle. You’re Black.

  22. playahater101

    CoJo, well said! Seems that every celeb has either a fashion line of perfume out there now. I’m sure even without design school, she’d be offered a fashion line by now. Jessica Simpson, The Olsen twins, Gwen Stefani, they all have lines, too. Need I mention Paris and her perfume, or should I say whore spray?

  23. playahater101

    *typo, should have been fashion line OR perfume

  24. Dee

    Post #2-Nicky should slap the shit out of her sister for being such a whore.

  25. Sebastian De La Ghetto

    man who cares i’d knock’em both down. nicky has this look in her eye, like she hasnt been banged in a while

  26. Ultraviolins

    God, whatever people. I’ve read countless remarks in which people disparage Paris because she didn’t go to college and apparently got a GED. As if to say going to college would automatically catapult her into that realm of actually doing something with her life. So now that Nicky has gone to college, it’s not enough–it’s just design school, and she didn’t have to work to get tuition, nor have to work to get a fashion line. What’s the breaking point when people say that the girl makes acceptable contributions to society–when she gets 3 Ph.D.’s, gets attacked by a slasher and has to pimp herself in Kuala Lumpur in order to feed her 2 children, both of which have 3 Ph.D.’s straight out of the womb?

  27. CoJo

    Hmmmm…”What’s the breaking point when people say that the girl makes acceptable contributions to society” Let’s see here…hmmmm.

    How about when the girl starts making acceptable contributions to society.

    Um…I don’t think that pointing at clothes and saying, “Yea, that’s hot” is considered an “acceptable contribution” to society. How about doing something with her – sorry – her DADDY’s millions of dollars other than blowing it on cocaine and dresses?

    Ultraviolins, I have a sneaking suspicion that you’ve never had to really worry about money. I would bet that your thoughts on poverty would be somewhere along the lines of “OMFG, those people are SOOOO Gross, if I lived like that I would totally just kill myself…look at their CLOTHES! They are like totally wearing shirts that are like soooo totally OLD! SO not HOT!”

  28. amma

    I’ll tell you the thing I like about Nicky–I know nothing about her. I have to give her points for that and not being all over the place like her sis.
    And, is it just me, or does she look like a goth Paris?

  29. Larry

    “What’s the breaking point when people say that the girl makes acceptable contributions to society–”

    Maybe when she stops being a trust fund baby who is in your life whether you want it or not because she is rich and annoying?

    In other words … never.

    It is a source of never-ending amusement to me, though, when people post impassioned defenses of celebrities on The Superficial’s comment section — yes, The Superficial, a site famous for respectful treatment and thoughtful analysis of celebrities.

    You’d think that the name “The Superficial” would be their first clue …

  30. CoJo

    Oh, I forgot. You probably voted for Bush too because your daddy said he would keep him rich.

  31. Captain Awesome

    I find anyone who even thinks of sticking up for or vouching on behalf of these cumbanks even funnier.

  32. HughJorganthethird

    It’s about time someone got all up in that fat cow Barton’s grill.

    I mean how thin do you have to be in Hollywood before they stop calling you overwieght?

  33. Both of them are useless. :D

  34. MystressJade

    Captain Awesome: I worship your insight from afar.

    I thank you, and my harem thanks you…

  35. jknUK

    These Hilton Girlies need a good kick up the ass, they should make a new TV series with them both stuck at the other end of 8 mile with no money, no cell phones and no shoes. Or even better ask them 2 get public transport, I’m sure by the time they’ve worked out how to count change they could have finished the series.LOL I could pose for cameras, nipple slip and name a perfume after me but nobody would give a shit, if I have an ugly dog, a rich daddy n peroxide hair then I’d b jammin, damn the world really does suck.

  36. BlackMamba

    For people listing in their top 5 talents, I think you guys should not forget David Hasselhoff….i am truly gratified with his oooga chaka video. That guy is a damn brillian genius

  37. Sheva

    I want to bang the lesser banged Hilton Sister. By my algorithmic calculations, that would be Nicky.

    I can’t handle going down the large Paris Super Highway.

  38. susie-q

    Just another Superficial picture of a celebrity who THE MORE COWBELL GIRL LOOKS BETTER THAN!!!

    did anyone catch nikki hilton on project runway? Ugh … ‘oooooh sergio you will go far in this business’ God I hate that guy and his voice. I dont know if he’s been booted off yet but i think the producers are keeping him around for ratings. The judges want to boot him so bad but those shows are so rigged.

  39. andrewthezeppo

    I’d be mad too if I had the same manager as Micha Barton and was unemployed. I mean really if he can get Mischa a prime gig like the OC then he can do anything.

  40. hermanita

    I can understand that she would be jealous of Mischa Barton. Infact, I can understand that she’d be jealous of anyone who doesn’t look like a transvestite with a bad sex change, since she looks exactly like that. I can understand that she would insult her, too. But calling her fat is just funny. Mischa Barton is practically skin and bones. There isn’t one peson in the Hilton familly who’s not a waste of oxygen. We need to get rid of them, for the sake of this planet.

  41. Jayne

    I don’t understand the fascination with Mischa Barton. She’s…barely attractive.
    I’d atleast make out with Nicky a few times.

    #38 Santino is sadly still alive and kicking on PR :(
    He’s basically Rasputin but a little meaner.

  42. Right on, Ultraviolins. I went to college and am still a broke-ass betty. instead i shuda leaked my celeb sex tape on the web years ago. frankie muniz, u rocked my world!

  43. Frinkahedron

    By the looks of that picture I’d say she’s going to try out for the role of the new Mrs. Potatohead in the next Toy Story movie.

    I’ve flushed things that look nicer that that.

    As for some of your lists, they might be down knowing they are on a LEAST talented list, but, they can also take heart that it could alternate as a MOST useless list, as well.

  44. Debutantejaim

    Is it me or does she really look like a clown in that photo??
    Seriously, put a big pink fuzzy on that hooked nose and she’d be good to go!

  45. Ali J

    “Fat pig???” Oh Nicky girl, I have seen your trifecta tummy roll…grab your middle and check yourself!

  46. polarbear

    Just think of all the good they COULD do…in the Sudan, Louisiana, Sri Lanka, heck anywhere but LA.

  47. Ultraviolins

    #27: Beyond their being people, and being human on some level, I really don’t care about celebrities. But in all honesty, I really don’t care that much about people in general. But I’m in the field of advertising with a background in persuasion, so the lack of compassion makes sense, no? I was just highlighting the lack of logic in the responses of some posters on the site.

    Oh, wait, I forgot the other prerequisite defense: “I grew up poor, hungry and toothless.”

    #29: Yes, it’s called The Superficial, but does that mean that the readers are, by default, called The One-Dimensional Thinkers?

  48. gossipmonger

    Posted by Ultraviolins on February 1, 2006 10:03 Yes, it’s called The Superficial, but does that mean that the readers are, by default, called The One-Dimensional Thinkers?
    Reply: uhh, no, I’d say it is a place that gives us readers a place to be nasty, cynical, trash-talkers about a bunch of useless people who are only in the public eye for being either total idiots/scum (ie. KFederslime) or slutty whores (ie. Pissy Paris Hilton). A place we wont get fired/slapped.
    So no, its not a place lacking compassion, its a place we vent. If you dont like it, please feel free to not come back.

  49. susie-q

    That’s right – it’s Santino … he irks me to no end. ooooooooh nikki i made a dress for nikki – i may not have won the ice skating dress competition but nikki hilton is wearing my designs …. i’m so famous now … CAN HIM ALREADY!!!! like Jim on Martha Stewart’s apprentice – it’s all rigged.

    I don’t think even a face transplant could save that girl.

  50. Belle

    My sister goes to to that college that is “just a design school”, Ultraviolins. The course load is compared to Harvard as far as work goes.. it’s not a class at Michael’s craft store, it is in fact college.. However, I’m pretty sure Nicky didn’t even really go, she took a couple of classes there once…

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