Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo sex photos off the market

July 12th, 2007 // 66 Comments
lachey-minnillo-sex-pictures.jpg

OK! magazine has paid $400,000 for the Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo sex photos from their vacation in Mexico. You’ll probably never see them though, since the celebrity-friendly magazine allegedly bought the photos to take them off the market. A source tells Gatecrasher:

“There’s much worse stuff than what got out there on the Internet,” says a snitch. “If Nick’s fans saw it all, it would definitely change his career, because he kind of has a squeaky-clean image.”

I’m pretty sure Nick Lachey doesn’t have a “squeaky-clean image”. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have an image at all. You sort of have to be famous to have an image, and if he did, it’d be “retarded ape” not “squeaky-clean.” Yeah, the sex pictures would change his career, by maybe giving him one. Right now he’s only famous for being married to Jessica Simpson. It’s like being known in high school as that kid who ate the live worms. You’re a star!

superficial

  1. Hash

    Secnod

  2. Anne

    Second

  3. Hash

    Haha major failure Anne :P

  4. Anne

    No.. we post at the same time.

    And I spelled it right. You didn’t. :P

  5. Hash

    Lol in case u didn’t notice, i did it intentionally, both 1st & 2nd ;P
    Felt good pwning you tho. just 4 phun :>

  6. SexyBeach

    TOO RUDE!! Nobody wants to see nicks flat ass or vanessas man feet… I’m glad these are off the market.

  7. YouRang

    #6 I guess you don’t come here much.

    How can this Vanessa chick look so hot when she’s about to be stabbed by LL, but look like a middle aged Asian housewife when with Nick? I suppose sex with Nick is very taxing.

  8. Tortured Soul

    She looks like the hired help in this picture. And why should sex with his girlfriend change his image? Big deal…it would be news worthy if they weren’t having sex.

  9. Binky

    I’ve often thought of him as sort of ‘oily clean.’

  10. Nick Lachey has fans?

    SORRY FOR THE DELAY, BUT BERN’S DISTURBINGLY MASSIVE BREAST SHOT IS UP. FOLLOW THE ABOVE LINK TO THE TRIPLE LINK IN TODAY’S FIRST POST.

    AND A GOOD MORNING TO YOU, CHIRPING ROBIN …

  11. Woodie

    Looks like your run of the mill Mexican. Make me some tortillas bitch.

  12. Sportsdvl

    How is this idiot a celebrity? Being married to another no-talent hack (Jessica Simpson) is something we should feel sorry for him for, nothing else. Way too many “famous” people who have zero talent!

  13. Sportsdvl

    #13, haha. Though, I do like me some good tortillas (like Bai Ling’s tits!)

  14. EuroChic

    she looks so damn ugly in that photo

  15. veggi

    Little dick nick.

  16. whoneedsenemies

    Love his spare tire…..
    Why is this news?

  17. Sugar Tits

    Nick just wants to avoid broadcasting his tiny wang so we can still pity him for being cuckolded by Jessica with that Jackass guy.

  18. Anne

    Oh well lol

  19. Seriously… like HOW BAD could it be? Does the pool boy join in? I mean, he’s with his girlfriend, for the love of GOD.

    Are people going to gasp at him having sex (any which way) with her?

    Does he invite the rest of 98 Degrees over to join in???

  20. Kamiki

    Change his career? HAHA!! He doesn’t have one! I actually laughed at the commentary on this item because it was spot on!!! Famous for being ex Mr Jessica Simpson! What a Looser!!

  21. sourgirl

    Since when is being naked & having consentual monogomous sex with your significant other considered bad, or wrong, or that it could actually take the squeak out of a supposedly “clean” person? I think if photos were taken of anyone while they were bumping uglies they would look like a giant sex pervert. Its just the nature of getting it on! Neither of them have anything to be ashamed of in these photos, except Nick cause he’s just a douchbag for having that tribal tattoo wraped ’round his arm. douchbag.

  22. satan

    you just known there’s pics of him going to town on her two-hole

  23. Sportsdvl

    I’d actually bet she has a bigger dick than he does.

  24. Andrea

    I just do not buy it that the magazine purchased the pics to get them off of the market. I am sure that the person who sold them at least kept the negatives or has copies of them. If the magazine does not publish them I am sure that they will mysteriously show up on the Internet some where. In my opinion Nick has gotten mixed up with the wrong Woman. I think she is just using him. I sort of feel sorry for him now. He and Jessica should have worked things out. It seems that they both have gone down hill since the divorce.

  25. Anna

    Ew. They’re both fat.

  26. star69

    I can’t stand Vanessa Minnilo’s pankake face nor her waistless tree trunky body, nor can I stand Nick Douchebag. He’s so gross in every single way. The man can’be alone. Straight after his marriage, he jumps into another relationship that’s gonna last for another hundred years. I can’t stand ugly couples. And whenever Nick is in a relationship with someone, he picks someone just as ugly and annoying like he is.

    Man, I think I drank too much Hatorate today, but srysly I fukin hate all of these fools today.

  27. star69

    Vannessa Minnilo is a whore.
    Nick Lachey is a perverted fag.
    Case closed.

  28. Lowlands

    who are these people and why are they sponsored by ‘Censored’?

  29. dannielynn'sdaddy

    Well, at least they censored his picture. I may be a heterosexual woman, but that is one pose that noooooo man looks good in.

  30. miss oblivious

    Jeez, they both look like a couple of middle aged schlumpas. But I’m sure this is the moment Vanessa has been waiting for…any day now she can get mega famous a la Paris Hilton,etc, etc, and get her own sex tape. As for Nick, its not really true that he only got famous because of Jessica. It was kind of the other way around in the beginning. She just ended up coming out more famous after that stupid newlyweds show.

  31. Sauron

    I hope the brand ‘Censored’ have something big enough to cover up my 2’10” penis.

  32. whitegold

    “Nick’s fans”…hahaha, seriously, they pluralized the word fan…as if he has more fans than his mom, come on now…

    Wow, Vanessa never had a good face, but the body I thought was decent…apparently I was wrong…she looks terrible…

    I’m sure the real reason they are trying so hard to block this out is because it was probably embarrasingly bad sex. Cuz really, like everyone is pointing out, this is two people in a relationship having sex, that isn’t a big deal and wouldn’t ruin an image. Unless, of course, you both looked terrible and the sex was really lame and pathetic and showed how bad you both were at it. That’s kind of what I’m guessing happened here…

  33. wienus

    I’m pretty sure these images are of the nasty Nick Lachey doing his mexican hotel maid. God she’s fugly! They’re a perfect match!

  34. threearmedman

    Nick Lachey isn’t just a tool… He’s the entire toolbox.

    And Vanessa Minnillo is… Well… I don’t even know WHO Vanessa Minnillo is…

  35. Me

    to be honest, I don’t particularly want to see either one. she’s ugly and he’s gay looking…on top of that, he’s not famous on his own merit, so whooptifriggindo if he found a goober who would let him stick it in her.

  36. Chirolex

    #29 When You have sex for the first time, make sure somebody takes a pic….I’m sure you wont be so quick to rag on people once you see a closeup of your fatass.

  37. I think Vanessa is pretty. I don’t get why people are calling her ugly. This is just a bad picture. She has a horrible body though.

  38. flybye

    I guaraantee she is 100 times better looking than any of you stragly fat chicks that post on this board! You can always tell when the big girls are online….they immediatly start to fat bash….

  39. wedgeone

    #23 – Consider your self fisted anally without lubricant for violating rule #69 of this web site, L_O_S_E_R!

    #29 – pankake: is that anything like bukakke?

  40. flyby

    Maybe SHE was going to town on HIS 2-hole…

  41. Matt

    Since when do celebrity mags shell out 400K to protect d-list celebrities??? Something smells fishy here…oh wait, thats Vanessa’s vag!

  42. flyby

    I can see the headlines now:
    Vanessa visits Nick’s O-town! Pics inside!

  43. Sheva

    This Vanessa chick has way too much attitude for a chick with a boxy body like that. And I don’t think much of her nipples either.

    The nicest thing I can say about her is yes, she’s a twat.

  44. Hollywood Agent

    These two are both ugly and are just trying to make a quick buck. I’m sure they alerted the paparazzi to where they would be and when, so the paparazzi would come and take photos.

    Why would anyone care about their naked bodies when one can rent any number of porno CDs and see good looking people doing it, who needs them. They both need to get real jobs.

  45. Baba

    Well, there are a few pics at the link in this post that will tide you over – heh heh heh

    http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=8909288#890928

  46. hot! They look so damn hot…that is a tape that i’m willing to wait in line for!

  47. jacknasty

    Ugh, I’m so sick of everybody complaining how all the people aren’t “famous enough” well they were famous enough to make you click on the jump and post a comment.

    I always thought Nick seemed pretty chill and doesn’t really seem to be seeking attention. And back in the day his boy band was the only one that was an actual quartette.

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