Nick Hogan is a ‘better man’ thanks to prison, says Hulk

August 1st, 2008 // 53 Comments

Hulk Hogan is so proud of his son. You know, the one who’s in prison for braining his friend in a drag racing accident on a public highway, not to be confused with the one filming his own reality show Brooke Knows Best. Anyway, Hulk says Nick is becoming a ‘better man” from the experience and is much happier since he moved into the general prison population on his 18th birthday. The dude loves butt rape. What’re ya gonna do? People reports:

“It’s much better,” he says. “Nick describes it as like a two-story warehouse with tables, seven or eight phones, TVs, and it’s people who are there for like child support and parking tickets. And instead of just once in a while being allowed to go outside, they leave the door open to the exercise yard. He said, ‘Dad, I can even go outside at night and look at the stars.’
“He was moving through life and maybe not real appreciative of things,” Hogan says. “When this happened, it totally spun him in a 180. … It’s the best thing that ever happened to him. I’m not saying it’s a good thing. But it happened for a reason.”

Hulk added, “Yup, the best thing ever. Obviously, not counting what happened to his friend. Horrible, horrible thing for, uh, what’s-his-face, to go through. Shit, I should probably remember the kid’s name. Though it’s not like he’s ever going to read this. Am I right? High five! Alright, folks, I’m off to buy a jet with a giant mustache painted on the front. It’s been real.”

superficial

  1. mimi

    Praying for Amy

  2. Shelby

    What? He’s not in jail he’s in a knitting circle full of pansies and retards….

  3. Ted from LA

    Would someone please hit him with a folding chair?

  4. Shelby

    Who’s Amy??

  5. woodhorse

    Can’t they be drafted? Isn’t there some clause? Don’t they make you shave your ginormous white schnauzer off your face when you’re in the military? Private butt-boy looks like he was born for latrine duty and God knows Sargeant Grandpa needs a shave. His face looks like the ass end of a Persian cat. I remember to go go the store and buy Fancy Feast every time I see his face.

  6. mimi

    THE Amy – Winehouse you stupid cunt!

  7. Shelby

    What does she have to do with this article….and dont call me a stupid cunt.

  8. Chelsea

    Why is a man who was drag racing and coma-ed his friend (yes, it’s a verb now) in with the unpaid parking tickets prisoners?

  9. Beavis

    Oh SHELBY, you stupid cunt!

  10. Lawrence from Office Space

    watch out for your cornhole, bud

  11. Karen

    “Why is a man who was drag racing and coma-ed his friend (yes, it’s a verb now) in with the unpaid parking tickets prisoners?”

    Because his friend’s caved-in head is his own fault, for getting drunk himself, CHOOSING to ride in the car, and CHOOSING to not wear a seatbelt. Nick is being punished for the consequences of his own actions, not the consequences of John’s actions.

  12. Shelby

    Bastard!

  13. I am sure Nick Hogan no longer has any constipation problems either..

  14. Ted from LA

    Praying for Ross.

  15. ph7

    The comatose kid’s parent are glad to know their son’s vegetative state occured for a reason – to make Hulk’s kid appreciate things more.

  16. ph7

    Praying for more bikini pictures of Bar Rafaeli.

  17. Cattyluo

    He looks poor.I saw his profile on M i l l i o n a i r e 4m e . c o m—-It is said he looks ugly !More details you can find on the site.

  18. English Bob

    Praying for the likes of No.18 to Fuck Off and never come back.

  19. matt tag

    you know what else spun Nick in a 180? The car he was driving when he hit the guardrail…

  20. Vanquish

    High five! xD

  21. Ted from LA

    Praying for my wife to suggest we have a menage a trois with the hot neighbor woman.

  22. joho777

    I thought that Nick’s attitude would probably change once he was available to the general prison population.

    Now he’s found that for the first time in his life, he’s really popular and is in demand. He’s allowed to go visit the other guys at night and they can come see hi. He feels that he’s really his purpose in life, and he has something he can do after he’s released.

    If you want to get him a present to make his time slide by, get him a giant economy size jar of Vaseline.

  23. Mike

    So, that guy is in a permanent vegetative state, but it happened for a reason: so that Nick could become a better man? How about some fucking responsible fucking goddamn parenting, you douche bag dumbass motherfucker!!!?!??!!!!

  24. That’s a pretty good reason for holding him up there.
    This way he couses the least harm!!
    Thanks for the opinion.

  25. I think he still isn’t FUCKED?

  26. sameshitdifferentyear

    Thanks, Terry, for telling us about your whole fucking family.

    Is that Nick guy already balding? WTF

  27. Mugato

    I was totally worth it for Nick’s friend to lose half of his head and shit in a bag for the rest of his life so that Nick could learn a lesson about how one shouldn’t race on a residential street. Thank Christ all it took was a person becoming a vegetable for Nick to learn that lesson.

    Maybe the Hulkster should STFU before someone digs too deep into this case and finds out who was really driving he other car.

  28. Dozer

    ” He said, ‘Dad, I can even go outside at night and look at the stars.’” Too bad it’s not when he’s holding hands with the guy who’s helping him get rid of his constipation problems

    Also I’m praying for a menage a trois with Ted from LA.

  29. Zane

    John got what he deserved for being a complete moron about picking friends and activities. Nick is serving a prison term for what he did. You mindless losers are spouting off because that’s the only thing you know how to do.

  30. Murray_Walker

    Look, I’ve seen this wank stain’s driving on YouTube. I would never get in a car with this twat at the sharp end of things. I would not ride the fuckin bus if he was on it. The mongoloid bloke asked for it…IMHO :)

  31. Silo

    If being repeatedly violated in the anus by five angry convicts makes you a better men, then, yeah, I can see how that might happen.

  32. atlanta chick

    Ok, so does anyone else see a problem with people in his prison being there for things like parking tickets? I’m pretty positive you don’t get jailed for that, unless he’s in an 18th century debtors prison. All this is code for “I love that ball gag and please don’t parole me until my master gets his too”

  33. Harry Ballzack

    @ 30 – No Zane – I’m spouting off because every fucking thing about the “BOLLEA” family is … FAKE
    Starting with something as freaking simple as their name for christs sake !!
    They don’t even know how to call themselves by their own fucking name anymore. Nobody “deserves”, as you put it, to be a vegetable because they chose the wrong friend and everybody in life should be made to be responsible for their own actions. So yes in a way Jacobs is paying the price for his stupid actions. (geting in the car with an idiot) But Nick’s prison sentence of 8 mos. was a joke. If that were me or you, we never WOULD get out of jail. Celebritard jail sentences are a freaking laughing stock.The little retard needs to get a job and do something other than run the streets in daddys car. But he’s more than likely never going to see an honest days work

  34. Barak Obama

    He can look up and see the stars as he lays on his back while being butt raped. Of course, it may not be rape if he enjoys it. fucking retard.

    #34, Harry, you said it.

  35. Aristotle

    this forum fucking sucks, went to the retards.

  36. BaconRain

    So the key to personal growth is paralysing your best friend? Interesting…

  37. holly38

    I thought these comments were suppose to be about Nick and to be kept appropriate….Ok then back to the matter at hand. No amount of prison time is going to ever touch the guilt that Nick must feel. Come on dont any of you have kids? Teenagers are invinsible, just ask them. Nothing bad will ever happen to them either, just ask them. I’m not saying that he should have gotten a lesser sentence im just saying hes no different than any other teenager, hes just in the spot lite and thats why you and I know about it. Hes payning for his crime with time and guilt, Im sure. As for his friend well nobody told him to get in the car with Nick so what does that make him? Both boys are responsible for their fate, not just the driver of the car and both are paying for it in different ways. When teenagerslearn that they are not invincible and death does not descriminate there will be far less horrible circumstances llike this.

  38. holly38

    I thought these comments were suppose to be about Nick and to be kept appropriate….Ok then back to the matter at hand. No amount of prison time is going to ever touch the guilt that Nick must feel. Come on dont any of you have kids? Teenagers are invinsible, just ask them. Nothing bad will ever happen to them either, just ask them. I’m not saying that he should have gotten a lesser sentence im just saying hes no different than any other teenager, hes just in the spot lite and thats why you and I know about it. Hes payning for his crime with time and guilt, Im sure. As for his friend well nobody told him to get in the car with Nick so what does that make him? Both boys are responsible for their fate, not just the driver of the car and both are paying for it in different ways. When teenagerslearn that they are not invincible and death does not descriminate there will be far less horrible circumstances llike this.

  39. holly38

    I thought these comments were suppose to be about Nick and to be kept appropriate….Ok then back to the matter at hand. No amount of prison time is going to ever touch the guilt that Nick must feel. Come on dont any of you have kids? Teenagers are invinsible, just ask them. Nothing bad will ever happen to them either, just ask them. I’m not saying that he should have gotten a lesser sentence im just saying hes no different than any other teenager, hes just in the spot lite and thats why you and I know about it. Hes payning for his crime with time and guilt, Im sure. As for his friend well nobody told him to get in the car with Nick so what does that make him? Both boys are responsible for their fate, not just the driver of the car and both are paying for it in different ways. When teenagerslearn that they are not invincible and death does not descriminate there will be far less horrible circumstances llike this.

  40. Joe

    STFU holly38, go back to sucking your dad’s dick

  41. Holly38

    And so Im positive its safe to say that “JOE” must be a teenager. LOL typical lack of intelligent words there “Joey”.

  42. justifiable

    # 38, 39, 40 wah wah wah
    Jesus, and when you learn to spell and can actually come up with a valid argument that doesn’t repeat itself maybe you’ll stop being a horrible circumstance.

    People are annoyed and pissed off because the Bollea family doesn’t accept or even mention the guilt which you’re so freakin’ sure little Nicky must be feeling. No, they have a firm grasp on things while they state that God did this to make Nicky’s buddy a better person, and break their asses to give us a 5 minute update of this idiot’s day in prison, because they know in their hearts that’s all we care about, sending hugs and good feelings, right?

  43. Kate

    Well for a minute, I was t hinking “what kind of god could let a man live with half his head missing?” and then I read this and now I know that the big man/woman/it up stairs is doing this so that Nick Hogan can become a better person. It all makes sense, thanks John for becoming a vegetable so that Nick can learn his lesson and stare at the stars at night, while you’re sitting in a coma in a bed, missing half your head. The world is at peace once again now that Nick Hogan has becoming a better person.

  44. justifiable

    Hey, Nick? Can it with the sad puppy eyes, no one’s touched by it.

    If it’s all about Nick “becoming a better person” though sidelining people, he’s gonna have to render 3 more poor bastards braindead in order to make it to ordinary douchebag status. His old man? 25 or more.

  45. ahahah

    I hope this spoiled lil bastard is murdered someday. Fucking murdered.

  46. TC

    What Hulk Hogan heard:

    “I’m not such a big arsehole now, Dad”.

    What the kid said.

    “I’ve got such a big arsehole now, Dad”

  47. wtf

    Phish, I hope someone fucking kills you. Serious. Right through your heart, you sorry bitch. I would love to watch you fucking die, you vulture. SUCK IT!!!!!!

    HAHAHAHA DIE WITH SOME DIGNITY , FUCKING PATHETIC VULTURE!

  48. Bibi

    The whole family are just a complete JOKE!

  49. sharpeidude

    #38, 39, 40 – Go now quickly and eat a large bag of shit.

    As for Little Nicky, may the nightly “sword fights” continue in his mouth until release day.

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