Despite having his license suspended for three years after the 2007 drag-racing crash that left his best friend John Graziano in a vegetative state with a giant hole in his head, Nick Hogan is allowed behind the wheel again but only to and from work with “no exceptions,” according to TMZ. Because he wouldn’t possibly speed then and try to compensate for a small penis. No way.
Wait. Back up a second. To and from work? Since when does Nick Hogan work? I didn’t realize spending his dad’s money and listening to an iPod constituted a vocation. But, hey, I’m sure he’s learned his lesson. Or will after the next crash. Seriously, for real this time. Promise.