Nick Cannon, I hate you

I get a ton, no, make that a space ton, of e-mails from publicists trying to get me to shill their client/wares. Well, this time around, one particular publicist knew how to push my buttons: By sending a pic of Nick Cannon with a Limited Edition Grand Theft Auto IV Xbox 360 System. Here’s the details from Chrystina at Edelman that illustrate why I’m tempted to hide behind Mariah’s oxygen bed chamber and attack Nick in his sleep:

Only 500 of the systems were made throughout the United States and Europe and Nick Cannon (along with Ice Cube and Pharrell Williams) was lucky enough to receive one. Yup, Mariah Carey’s new hubby is a gamer and Xbox 360 is system of choice.

Of course, if marrying Mariah Carey is what it takes to score such a sexy system, I’ll pass. I love video games more than I could ever love my own offspring (See? Suing me for child support won’t win my love, kids.), but marriage is a high price to pay. Unless they threw in a kegorator.

Special thanks to Chrystina. If I married you, how many of these could you get? Enough to build a life-size Xbox woman that would make me waffles after our inevitable divorce? If so, I’m already on my knee. That’s right. This hunk of romance is all yours, baby….

Photo: Edelman, Splash News