Yeah, Well How Would Nick Cannon Like It If I Wore Blerkface Ba Derp Herp Derp

March 25th, 2014 // 110 Comments
Nick Cannon White Face
Die Slowly In A Fire
Julianne Hough Blackface Crazy Eyes Halloween Costume
If You Think This Is The Exact Same Thing Read More »

To promote his new album White People Party Music, actor/comedian/Mariah Carey‘s butler Nick Cannon dressed up in “whiteface” – A term that has no business existing whatsoever. – as Connor Smallnut for a surprisingly elaborate parody that’s somehow not about Justin Bieber. Anyway, white people are mad now because if the Julianne Hough/Crazy Eyes Debacle of 2013 taught us, it’s that racists genuinely believe White Chicks is exactly as offensive as blackface. So let me waste my time by pointlessly firing a few shots into the tidal wave of dumb that’s about to come crashing down upon us:

1. Blackface has a historical derogatory meaning based on years of subjugating African-Americans and straight up owning them like property. “Whiteface” is a term that was made up yesterday whose only historical context is a Wayans brothers movie that all races agree is a piece of shit.

2. Yes, slavery did happen “a long time ago,” but no, people don’t need to “get over it” because it’s the foundation for racism that not only still exists in America, but we’re actively finding new ways to make it legal to shoot black kids.

3. You’re white and have a statistically better chance at avoiding poverty, unemployment, racial discrimination, street crime, and imprisonment. Nick Cannon in makeup isn’t going to change that. Suck it up, pussy burger.

UPDATE: Okay, so I just heard the first single and would like to scratch everything I just said. Who do I talk to about bringing lynching back? Ron Paul? I’m going with Ron Paul.

Photo: Instagram


  1. JungleRed

    Nice try, but can’t hide from Mariah.

  2. A bullshit controversy… made up by people full of shit… about a shitty ‘artist’… who’s releasing a shitty record.

    America… please get it together already.

  3. Bob

    Speaking as a white guy, I’m not offended by “White-Face.”
    I am, however, offended by Nick Cannon, on principle.

  4. The best part is that Nick Cannon has a shout out on his Instagram account to Robert Downey Jr. for donning blackface in Tropic Thunder and calling out the difference between humor and hate.

    So context matters. Who knew?

  5. Shayne

    I actually think racism was the foundation for slavery….not the other way around.

    • JimBB

      I think money was the foundation for slavery. And pretty much the foundation for everything else too. Everything else is just window dressing to cover the greed.

    • eatme

      Shayne, you clearly know little about the history of slavery (nor do most people who get their history from watching 12 Years A Slave: race has never been the determinant as “races” have enslaved their own en masse since the dawn of slavery (and slavery goes back to ancient times). I mean, seriously, do you think that the Helots were anything other than fellow Grecians? Please do just a little research.

  6. And now they officially have no right to bitch about blackface. Oh yeah, that’s right, that’s never going to happen with equality, sensitivity and all that garbage.

  7. Eddie Murphy did it better.
    A clip:

    • Brian

      I was gonna say the same thing. I’m not offended he’s doing “white face”, I’m offended he’s ripping off Eddie Murphy.

  8. Jesus Christ, the faux logic required to twist your mind into being a Liberal* is just too fucking stupid to even care about.

    Stay in school, kids.

    *notice the big-el, which signifies a proper noun, because there is absolutely nothing liberal about Liberals. Classical liberals are what we call conservatives. Big-el Liberals are simply authoritarians.

    • Oh, and you stay in school too, Geraldine. You’re almost halfway there.

      The distinction you’re groping for so sweetly is that between classical and social liberalism. And you’re even right about the notion that classical liberalism, the sort of liberalism that considers the abolishing of child labor an unacceptably authoritarian act but supports the power of the state being used to prevent workers forming unions, is in fact the province of what we today generally call conservatives.

      Don’t think I’m not proud of you for knowing that what we call conservatives today are the true heirs of classical liberalism, which not only believes in child labor, subhuman working conditions, the suppression of labor organizations, the obscenity of minimum wages and pensions for the elderly, the right of a factory to pollute the air for all but the absolute criminality of the people being harmed to defend themselves against that harm, but which questions the need for and wisdom of democracy itself. After all, it was Madison himself who argued against ours.

      So anyway, I’m proud of you for all that. Now you need to stay in school just long enough to learn about social liberalism. Not just because you’ll know more and it will make you seem smarter than the guy who says big-el libruls but because you’ll find out about the policies the United States of America was following while it became the most powerful and prosperous nation on the planet. You know, as opposed to those our nation has followed in the years since the election of Ronald Reagan.

      You know, those years in which American greatness has been steadily slipping away.

    • I see someone is unhappy about losing the popular vote in 5 out of the last 6 presidential elections. Not to mention the demographic landslide in which his party continues to literally die off.

      There, there. Go dry your eyes with your mom’s underwear and resume masturbating to the whipping scenes in “12 Years a Slave.”

    • Geraldine_Ferraro…Interesting that as a self-professed Conservative you use a screen name of a Democratic Vice Presidential candidate.

    • Labor unions were one of the things I really wanted to touch on. When you call yourself the party of the people and then you deny those people’s rights then you really are an asshole plain and simple.

    • White commie liberals are so stupid, they have no clue that black people hate them. Must be nice to be in an perpetual alternate universe. Here’s a clue, the knock out game….yeah, they hate you. And all your butt kissing ain’t gonna change that.

      • You mean the “knockout game” that actually doesn’t exist outside of sensationalized news stories that were fabricated by piecing together unrelated incidents in an attempt to boost ratings by making white people panic?

        That knockout game?

  9. I get upset when women don “Jizz-face” and its not mine.

  10. Oh BABY

    Fish, it’s not about racism, but you’re an ignorant twat, and have to twist things because you’re a brainless, liberal asshole.

    It’s about the double standard, you dumb shit.

    If it’s not okay for whites do don “black face,” then the reverse is true. Racism is racism. I realize your teeny little mind doesn’t get that, but as I said, you’re a dumb shit.

    No double standard is acceptable. Ever. Now go back to playing with your tiny trouser worm, Fish, because you’re not smart or talented enough to make serious, thought-provoking statements. You are a legend in your own midget mind.

    • If we’re just going with straight-up name calling:

      Oh BABY, you are a poop head.

      Ah, how refreshing! Now I see why so many people enjoy this sort of thing. Oh. Wait. Now I feel icky and dirty from resorting to such a lame move. It’s like a slimy back-taste–a hidden taste of yuck. Nevermind the name-calling. I think I will go back to sticking with facts in a debate, but thanks for the experience.

    • Dox

      No double standard is acceptable. Ever.

      Does this mean we can count on your support for closing all the tax loopholes that corporations currently utilize? Does this also mean, that women can expect same wages for same work now? What about the myriad of other double standards that conservatives seem to think is their divine right for having the good fortune of being born into money?

      I will give you this though…. No double standard is acceptable. Ever.
      Entirely too bad this country was founded on double standards, and has thrived on double standards.

    • No, fucknut. You’re the fucking moron because like virtually all right-wingers/fucking morons, you don’t understand context. This is why you believe every word in the Bible is literally true — because you’re a fucking moron who doesn’t understand context.

      I’ll explain it to you, an exercise we both know is utterly futile.

      There is a history of racism, mockery and oppression attached to blackface.

      There is a history of one awful Wayans brothers movie attached to whiteface.

      If you cannot understand the difference between those things then you’re a fucking moron.

      But we already established that, didn’t we?

    • Joey Drangus

      It isn’t a double standard. Blackface on it’s own isn’t offensive, it’s only offensive BECAUSE it’s reminiscent of a time when black people were property and second-class citizens. It’s not the actual blackface that’s offensive, it’s what it represents.

      So unless white people have gone through the same shit, whiteface isn’t offensive. Neither of them are offensive on their own, but context determines whether or not it’s offensive.

      So no, no double-standard here.

  11. ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

    As someone who firmly believes in a little tit-for-tat, I absolutely endorse giving him shit for this. Not to mention the attempt at a wildly racist name, Connor Smallnut.

    That said, having to eat Mariah’s sweaty gash may count as already having been punished appropriately.

    If a white guy did the exact reverse of this, not Al Jolson blackface, but realistic black make-up, and an insulting name (Kunta Jobless, or something), you would hear a lot of outrage. And that’s just ridiculous. I’m 3rd generation American, and my ancestors are all from Ireland. None of them owned slaves, and I certainly haven’t. Nor have I done anything to “keep the black man down”. So, I don’t feel any obligation to be extra sensitive.

    • It’s not a matter of whether or not you’ve done anything to “keep the black man down.” The fact is, you’re white. I’m white. The odds were stacked in our favor the minute we were born in America. That’s not true for blacks. Quite the opposite. It’s called context and it involves understanding the history of things, not just considering your own experience to be the only valid experience.

      Whiteface may be stupid — no, it is stupid — but it has not been used for over 100 years to mock the intellect and, indeed, the very humanity of white people. Nick Cannon dons whiteface not because he wants to keep white people down. Even if he wanted to do such a thing, he knows it is impossible. Nick Cannon dons whiteface because he’s a poor excuse for a comedian.

      That doesn’t make him a racist and it doesn’t make whiteface anything like the equivalent of blackface. It’s not even close.

      • uncle ruckus

        If you are white then shut the fuck up! You don’t know shit! You aren’t talking from experience. You are just another yuppie asshole who thinks that they are saving the blacks because they took African American Studies in college and voted for Obama. Everyone on this site is laughing at you.

      • TheTruth

        Ummm, so if you are White, then the content of your character doesn’t mean anything? You are a dumbass. We are laughing at YOU. Educate yourself. Most black people in the United States are not “African American”. You are part of the problem.

      • Educated

        Ruckas! You shut the fuck up you piece of shit. Do a little research, educate yourself. Find out what that name you donned is based, ’cause you are fuckin clueless. I don’t care what color your skin is, unless it is why you are so dumb. Is it?
        Race also has nothing to do with who you voted for. If you paid attention to the candidates, their work experience and effectiveness you didn’t vote for Obama.

      • RealRuckus

        Ruckus, people who think like you, should be a slave. Afro American Studies was bullshit, you are right about something.
        YOU have no idea when it comes to race relations and bigotry.
        Do you, like our president, believe it is your skin color that makes people lock their car doors when you walk by? Or think White people act stupidly when doing exactly what any race would do?
        Get a clue.

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        Nick Cannon in whiteface is exactly as racist as me in blackface.

        Am I racist? Yeah, kinda, maybe. I accept the fact that blacks are known to be the least intelligent race (you can look it up, there’s no academic debate about this, the debate is just about why). And I accept the fact that blacks in Africa never figured out how to build a boat to take them to Madagascar, instead the asians settled that land. I also voted for, campaigned for, and met Obama and continue to support him. I do not run around blocking job opportunities for blacks, and I’m usually extra considerate of the ones I do run into professionally (which is super rare, maybe one or two per decade; think Neil deGrasse Tyson). I absolutely believe Trayvon Martin got what he deserved. I agree that there are some systemic issues that limit opportunities for blacks. I also know that humans are remarkably genetically homogeneous, as a species. I also bang a lot of asian broads (including hookers and civilians). So… I don’t know, you figure that shit out.

        The thing is, this is a double standard. And if blacks want equality (of treatment, as well as opportunity), then they have to accept all equality of treatment, they don’t get to pick and choose when it applies. If we don’t get to belittle them as a race, then they shouldn’t get to belittle us as a race. I don’t have any white guilt and neither should you. There is no denying that this is intended as a belittlement of the entire white race. His fake name is a dead giveaway, “Smallnut”.

        I’m all for comedy without limits (not that Nick Cannon would know comedy if it scraped Mariah’s dumpy ass off his face and took her place). So, I’m cool with his bullshit in principle. But, I’m also cool with black face, Al Jolson-style. And I’m annoyed by any dick that thinks one is okay while the other is not.

        That is where the real problem lies. If you are offended by this, then you must be offended by blackface. If you are cool with this, then you must be cool with blackface. Anything else is bullshit and makes you a real knobgobbling shit stain. Don’t be part of the problem.

        On a side note, am I the only one who finds this whiteface shit to be really creepy looking? It’s like when you see a black albino. It’s seriously fucked up. Their goofy features look rather disturbing with white skin. At least when you black up a white person, we don’t look like we’re swelling up from an intense shellfish allergy.

      • You’re not just a racist, you’re a fucking moron.

        “I accept the fact that blacks are known to be the least intelligent race (you can look it up, there’s no academic debate about this, the debate is just about why).” = I wouldn’t know an academic debate from a hole in the ground because I’ve never been near any “academy” of higher learning that had any actual legitimacy, but this sounds pretty plausible to me because I’m a “kinda/maybe” racist who is forced to “accept” that this is the truth. Really, it hurt to accept this. Also, I have a room temperature IQ.

        “And I accept the fact that blacks in Africa never figured out how to build a boat to take them to Madagascar, instead the asians settled that land.” = I spent all my time looking up why blacks are the least intelligent race, so I wasn’t able to figure out why Austronesian island populations in 500 CE might have conceivably had an interest in developing seafaring abilities to do things like supplement their food sources to survive, rather than an indigenous African population like the Bantu, whose dense population managed to subsist in an extraordinary rich and fertile agricultural and game area, as well as having the entire southern half of the fucking African continent within which to migrate, which is why they had no need to develop any offshore food sources, i.e. a seafaring culture, let alone migrate across the Mozambique channel until some 500 years later. And because I’m not only a racist, but don’t know a post hoc fallacy from my ass, let alone a fucking thing about social or cultural anthropology, I’m perfectly happy to attribute this lack of migration to some sort of mental inferiority on the part of those same indigenous Africans for not building boats.

        “I also voted for, campaigned for, and met Obama and continue to support him.” = Some of my best friends are black

        “I do not run around blocking job opportunities for blacks, and I’m usually extra considerate of the ones I do run into professionally (which is super rare, maybe one or two per decade; think Neil deGrasse Tyson).” = I condescend whenever possible, because, you know, they’re a less intelligent race.

        “I absolutely believe Trayvon Martin got what he deserved.” = I am a racist.

        “I agree that there are some systemic issues that limit opportunities for blacks.” = Well, yeah, because they’re known to be the least intelligent race. Really, you can look it up.

        “I also know that humans are remarkably genetically homogeneous, as a species.” = Except for blacks being the least intelligent race. Seriously, look it up, academia is stumped as to why.

        “I also bang a lot of asian broads (including hookers and civilians).” = I continue to objectify and condescend on an equal-opportunity basis whenever possible, but really, some of my best fucks are Asian. At least they’re smarter than blacks. Really, look it up.

        “So… I don’t know, you figure that shit out.” = OK, here ya go:

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        I hate unthinking dickheads like you, justifiable. You are precisely the source of all the major problems in race relations today.

        First of all, your deference to Jeremy Piven really hurts any argument you may have had.

        Second, you clearly heard something you didn’t like, and then you shut down your mind and obsessed over it, ignoring the thesis of the post. Check out some talks by the philosopher James Flynn. He is one of the best defenders of your side of the racial intelligence gap debate. Not only that, but he is, in my opinion, one of the best speakers out there. I recommend him to the graduate students in my lab as an example of how to speak in public. That said, he has to use some pretty twisty logic when making his case and it quickly becomes clear that he starts from the conclusion that we are all intellectually equal, and then works from there looking for justification. I’m not just making this up this gap, it is a very well documented issue. It is not discussed much, because of assholes like you, despite its deep implications about the nature of intelligence. Better understanding of the gap would be beneficial to humanity. None of what I said means the intelligence gap is hereditary/genetic, although that is an obvious possible explanation, and one to which I am leaning. Despite your dislike of the facts, the gap is indeed there. Now it’s just a matter of figuring out why it exists.

        I made no claims about having black friends, because that has no real bearing on my arguments. My statements are factual, regardless of the racial composition of my friends. But, throughout this thread, a dislike of Obama is used as a measure of someone being a racist, so I clarified my stance on him. I also made clear my behavior with regards to people of other ethnicities. So, is recognizing the facts of the situation in and of itself racist? I left that as a question to the reader. Clearly, you think it is.

        Thinking that Trayvon Martin had it coming is not, in and of itself, a racist position. Regardless of the events leading up to the shooting, Zimmerman found himself on his back, mounted by an attacker who was pummeling him. This is a pretty well accepted account of the scenario, which is consistent with Zimmerman’s wounds. Being that I’m a big bjj/mma guy, I’m quite familiar with this position. And, for someone who isn’t very used to it, it can be incredibly nervewracking. You are highly vulnerable and unless you really know what you are doing, it will feel almost totally inescapable. I would not fault anyone who found themselves in such a position for fearing that they were moments away from being killed. Given Trayvon’s documented history of violence, it was only a matter of time until he bit off more than he could chew. He was just unlucky enough to beat up a gun nut instead of just running into someone who could give him a solid beating in return. Now, I’m not on the side of gun nuts in general (I’m not a pussy, so I don’t feel the need to own a gun), but in the context of that situation, Zimmerman was completely justified in defending himself in the only way he saw fit.

        You know, James Watson is a former colleague and personal acquaintance of mine, and he was run out of his position because of people like you, simply because he spoke honestly about race. That is a real shame. Over the years, his contributions through his leadership to the study of cancer, neuroscience, and other fields have been immeasurable. Your idiotic adherence to political correctness at all costs has made the world a poorer place.

        Finally, there are systemic issues, regardless of perceived intelligence, that result in reduced opportunities for blacks in America. I grew up in a lower middle class family in NY, and I climbed up the ladder to what is fair to say is a great height. I am acutely aware that my success would likely have been impossible had I not had the opportunities afforded to me by race, class, and geography. I am respectful of black people in science because it is polite and because they have earned it. They have earned it more than I have. There are certainly smart black people. The gap in intelligence is an average one, and there are outliers in all Gaussian distributions. But, plenty of smart black people never get to realize their full potential because of the structural deficits in opportunity. That’s why I have the political leanings that I do.

        We need more equality of opportunity. But, that does not mean we will, or should, have an equality of outcomes.

        I’m sure, had I fallen out of the right vagina, I would be far better off than I am now. And I certainly resent shitbirds like Mitt Romney for their inherited privilege. I’m happy to spread the opportunity around, even if it’s for selfish reasons. We are all better off in a meritocracy, and discrimination for the sake of being a dick only prevents some of our best and brightest from achieving. But, you have to face facts, the majority of the best and brightest are asian and white. Incidentally, there is an extraordinary over-representation of jews at the extreme peak (which is another interesting facet to the racial distribution of intelligence). Your wishing for this to be untrue doesn’t change the facts. Just like how climate change deniers and creationists work from broken premises because they don’t like the implications made by the real data, you are letting your ideology blind you to truth.

        In closing, fuck you, shithead.

      • Dayummm…you people are over-thinking this stuff. Set your keyboards aside, have a shot and a beer, then relax. It’s much more fun than banging your fingers to the bone just to make moot points.

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        I know that people like justifiable (and Fish himself) will never accept the truth, because they are zealots who came to a conclusion before looking at the data. But, every once in a while, you just have to argue the shit out of some point with an asshole on the Internet. Even if the odds of anyone reading all this shit is highly unlikely.

        They are just parroting the position that they think represents the entirety of their side of the political spectrum, and they lose their shit when they encounter someone who agrees on some issues and not others. It’s amusing to observe their heads exploding.

        Besides, I’m waiting for a lengthy analysis to be finished, and I’m using a VPN into MIT’s network under my own name, so I’m hesitant to look up porn on this connection. Otherwise I’d be beating my meat and/or shopping for whores, which is the primary purpose of modern computers.

        The only thing that really needed to be said in any of these comments is: Fuck Nick Cannon for being talentless and desperately unfunny and fuck these hypocrites and their raging white guilt.

      • ManWhoMayOrMayNotHaveSeenaVaginaButIsDefinitelyaCunt, just let it go. Justifiable put you in your place and shut you down. Just admit it and let the horrible, embarrassing defeat wash over you.

      • Turd Burglar

        As THE black guy that reads this site I am offended by all this jibber jabber. I also dont need justifiable standing up for me. He needs to just fuck right off. Annoying dick.

      • Jesus take the wheel, where to start?
        First off, James Flynn isn’t a “philosopher”, and his public speaking abilities aren’t germane to the topic, but I see that you condescendingly hijacked that talent to prop up your own internet career. Of course you have “graduate students” – it’s the internet, so you’re also a billionaire and fantastically good looking, amirite? Hey, I’m currently writing this from my 12 story luxury yacht; Tahiti is lovely this time of year.
        Flynn does not, in fact, posit a conclusion that all humans are “intellectually equal” and then use “twisty logic” looking for “justification” to support it, but the fact that you perceive one of his initial arguments to be a “conclusion” demonstrates you know nothing whatsoever about scientific theory. Your pitifully inept grasp of the subject is painful to behold when you declare his research to be “fact” – which “research”, exactly? Fifteen years ago Flynn claimed that the American black-white IQ gap wasn’t due to genetics, and it could be explained due to environmental/educational factors. Now he states that environmental factors are irrelevant. What you’re probably referring to is Flynn’s latest conclusion, which isn’t ”fact” by any means. FYI, applying the much-vaunted “Flynn effect”, which observes that global IQs rise at .3 points/year, is problematic at the very least for its creator, because it means that the founders of this country would, today, be considered mentally retarded. If I weren’t utterly convinced you’d be unable to follow it, I’d recommend Malcolm Gladwell’s None of the Above as an overview, and also for analysis of the 2007 Manhattan Institute debate between Flynn and Charles Murray. In sum: I.Q. tests apply only to one finite moment in time, and they measure not just the quality of a person’s mind but the quality of the world that person lives in.

        Second, the fact that you are utterly unfamiliar with the time-worn phrase “some of my best friends are black” and its hackneyed use as a fallback argument to deny white racism would be laughable on its own given the topic, but that you proceeded to take it seriously re your claim to having black friends speaks volumes as to your stunning lack of both intelligence and sophistication.

        To then name-drop James Watson “as a personal acquaintance” is just gravy here, because if Watson hadn’t been been such an IQ fundamentalist about Africa’s future, and been so vehemently defended by William Saletan, using a Rushton’s theory that black brain circumference matches black penis length, trumpeting that interbreeding is the only way to raise black IQ scores, he might not have been dismissed. Because, see, Flynn’s research, that you set such store by, actually disproves that fundamentalism – because if IQ test results can jump so much in a single generation, they damn sure aren’t as immutable as Team Inherent Genetics declare them to be.

        Lastly, the fact that you once again single out your “respectful” and “polite” attitude toward “black people in science” (uh, you do mean your “colleagues”, right?) because “they have earned” it is incredibly sad – not just for its utterly clueless head-desking condescension, but because you’re completely oblivious to the fact that you’re taking someone else’s achievements and using them – as in “ownership” – to further your own ends here, to make yourself look good and feel wonderful because you’ve been so polite and inclusive of people who, really, are factually, inherently, inferior. (Otherwise known as “the truth”: see your latest gag-making comment)
        HINT: that’s no different than putting on blackface to “own” someone else’s identity.

        Here’s a major fucking clue, cupcake – START ASSUMING THAT EVERYONE WHO’S IN SCIENCE HAS “EARNED IT” IN SOME FORM OR OTHER. BE POLITE AND RESPECTFUL OF EVERYONE, EQUALLY, NO MATTER WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. Only then will you have done something to actually further equality, rather than pump yourself up at someone else’s expense.

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        Are you still at it? Don’t you get tired of embarrassing yourself? You have really gone off the fucking rails.

        I said James Flynn is on your side, not mine, you illiterate twat.

        James Flynn (during his TED talk): “I am primarily a moral philospher, I merely have a holiday in psychology.” –

        Your stuttering, slobbering, barely coherent and highly confused bullshit is a clear sign of a man who is desperately clinging to a broken world view. You have lost the fucking plot. You are just randomly attacking anything I say, without having understood what I said. The fact that you’re lumping me in with Flynn, when I clearly said he is on your side of this debate, shows you are clueless. Not only did you not understand what I said, you must not know shit about Flynn’s arguments, since you’d then be aware that he’s on your side.

        Let’s gather our facts: You’re a humorless dick. Nick Cannon is a piece of shit with no talent. Whiteface is okay. Blackface is okay. White people who think whiteface is okay and blackface is not are hypocritical assholes brimming with white guilt. Black people are, on average, less intelligent than all other races. Trayvon Martin justifiably shot. I have humored your juvenile antics long enough.

      • Oh, burn. You really took it to heart when Mommy told you that you were a special snowflake and could never be criticized, didn’t you?

        Here’s the 411, skippy – Flynn isn’t on “my side” of any debate, and the fact that you still think he is means you have absolutely no understanding of what he’s written since about the late ‘80’s. You remind me of LD kids who (imperfectly) grasp only surface values because their disabled faculties can’t perceive subtext – using Flynn’s tongue in cheek remark to justify calling him a philosopher when his work and academic standing is in political science and psychology is indicative of your massive shortcomings in that area. Your lack of reading comprehension is painful to behold; the fact that you’re actually advocating that blacks are less intelligent than other races is “fact” while displaying an absolutely stunning paucity of gray matter on your own behalf, is a really rich gift from the Gods of Irony that, sadly, you’ll never be able to grasp. People who don’t make a habit of drooling on their keyboards will, however, appreciate it – and God knows that nothing else you’ve spewed here could even be vaguely termed “appreciable”.

        Here’s another clue: your statements about whiteface and blackface are NOT “facts”, they are opinions. Ditto for your racist statements – having a certain opinion or belief doesn’t automatically make it factual or true simply because one holds it. That sort of conceit really is a hallmark of a lack of intellect – this would be bad enough on its own, were it not coupled with your self-congratulatory notion that your imprimatur is necessary when it comes to anyone black in your no-doubt fictitious “workplace”. Noblesse oblige is what I’m sure you think you’re about, but the fact that you’re light years from being anything close to the former in terms of character means you’re an utter failure in that, as well. That must be a common theme in your life – it would certainly explain your need to cling to the concept that blacks are genetically inferior when it comes to intellectual capacity, now, wouldn’t it?

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        I am enjoying humiliating you. It’s just a shame that there’s nobody around to see it anymore.

        About James Flynn, who was never the point of this whole thing, but your dumb ass dragged us down in your complete misunderstanding of a simple topic… he is a moral philosopher by trade. He even explains, in his TED talk, how being a moral philosopher lead to him studying intelligence in the first place. I’m sure you looked at his Wikipedia page, which has scattered references to his work being in the field of philosophy. His faculty page at the University of Otago also states that his work is rooted in philosophy. Your reading comprehension is really shitty.

        People with training and work in one field, especially when they are highly successful, will frequently get faculty appointments or do significant work in another field later in their careers (Jared Diamond, Susumu Tonegawa, Dimitris Anastassiou, etc). I imagine this sort of crossover is much more common in the bullshit fields, like philosophy and psychology.

        Flynn is absolutely on your side of this debate. He will alternately attempt to make the arguments that there is no racial intelligence gap and that even if there is it’s not genetic in nature. Apparently, you do not even understand your own position. While Flynn is a really good speaker (and probably a bright guy), he is wrong on this subject. His wavering back and forth between claiming there is no gap and in arguing for non-genetic causes of the gap undermines his entire position against there being a gap in the first place. And he’s the best you’ve got on your side of the fence, numbnuts.

        Let’s recap the FACTS as they stand, once again:
        - justifiable is a dick.
        - justifiable is barely literate.
        - Trayvon Martin was justifiably shot.
        - Black people are, on average, less intelligent than all other races, as assessed through a variety of measures.
        - Blackface is acceptable.
        - Whiteface is acceptable.
        - Most, if not all, white guilt is entirely misplaced.
        - Anyone who is offended by blackface must be equally offended by whiteface, otherwise they are a hypocritical asshole.
        - Nick Cannon sucks.
        - Both Fish and justifiable are harboring an excess of white guilt.
        - Both Fish and justifiable are hypocritical assholes, as described above.
        - justifiable has a severe inferiority complex, who feels the need to use fictional personal attacks when his arguments fall apart in light of the facts.

        Did you notice that most of these points aren’t even on the topic of Nick Cannon sucking shit through a tube and blackface and whiteface being equally offensive (not even counting the James Flynn bullshit)? Do you see how far off the rails you have gone ? What the fuck is wrong with you, dipshit? You are clearly going to argue any point, regardless of your assessment of its truth, out of sheer frustration with me. I would feel bad for you, if you weren’t such a piece of shit.

      • I am enjoying humiliating you.

        Oh please, you wish. Keep digging away at that “fact” hole, you’re almost to China by now.

  12. Fancy Face

    Oh cool, we can all dress up as Crazy Eyes now, right?! Whew. Thanks Nick!!!

  13. brian

    “You’re white and have a statistically better chance at avoiding poverty, unemployment, racial discrimination, street crime, and imprisonment.”

    You also have a much better chance of being victimized (shot, robbed, etc.) by a black person. I guess Paul Ryan was right about that whole “culture” thing.

    • You don’t undestand math at all. Most black crime is committed against other blacks. Go back to Stormfront, fucknut.

      • I think he’s literally too stupid to find his way back there.

      • I don’t know if brian’s facts are true, but your response is retarded and devoid of an understanding of math. It doesn’t matter if blacks mostly target blacks, that doesn’t say anything about who targets whites, which was what he was talking about.

      • brian

        Right you are, which is why they were so desperate to change the subject.

        Question for the guilty white libs: during the Trayvon Martin trial, 10,865 blacks were killed by other blacks. Name one.

      • Brian

        White’s are targeted the most by other whites. It’s pretty much true for just about any race that they’re most likely to be targeted by their own race. Races tend to cluster together when it comes to where they live (a phenomena known as de facto segregation), and as such, are more likely to get into disputes with and attack members of their own race.

        Also just so we’re clear, I’m a completely different Brian than the other one.

      • We figured you were a different Brian when you posted something that wasn’t racist horseshit.

  14. AteIsEnough

    Hey, that whole “their teeth look whiter because of the dark skin surrounding their mouth” thing is true! People…get a grip!! The only thing offensive about all this shit is that he looks like a gay Howdy-Doody!

  15. Mike Walker

    Fishy took a pre-emptive shit over his already weak argument by claiming that Jullianne Hough was in “blackface” back on Halloween. Her costume was clearly in tribute to an individual character, wheras Cannon’s is aimed at ridiculing general aspects of an entire race – which is the essence of “blackface” or, in this case, “whiteface”. So while half the population rationalize this out of political obligation and general spinelessness, the other half will call it for what it is, with varying degrees of offense, and the political/racial factions polarize even more. My degree of offense is on the homeopathic level, considering who this is, but the intent is obviously disrespectful, despite its comedy leanings.

    The whole thing seems to be a early April fools joke, or the April 1 release is a hedge against possible outrage.

    • Her costume was clearly in tribute to an individual character, wheras Cannon’s is aimed at ridiculing general aspects of an entire race – which is the essence of “blackface” or, in this case, “whiteface”.

      It doesn’t matter what sort of “homage” you want to argue about here, your attempt to parse Hough’s blackface into something that really wasn’t blackface because “good intent” is still bullshit. It’s about as lame an argument as Ireland Baldwin’s justification that she’s actually part Cherokee princess, so everyone was just being haters. Oh, wait, that was about her third excuse, right behind blaming the store because it was a COSTUME.
      If you can wash it off at the end of the night and go back to being white with all its advantages and entitlements, it’s not a fucking “tribute”, so yeah, it’s still blackface.

      And it’s “whereas”.

      • FFS you hyper PC assholes are some tedious fucks.

      • Mike Walker

        Nope. It’s all about intent and context. Painting an intentionally offensive, generic caricature of black people with exaggerated physical characteristics and vocal mannerisms – which is really what Nick Cannon is doing with his “whiteface” – is far removed from the specific character tribute that Hough did. Her costume was more Crazy Eyes-Lite than caricature, and the character was part of an ensemble who were represented by her friends. It wasn’t a generic ethnic costume and it was done respectfully.

      • Justie, Fish and the rest of the easily butthurt PC crowd can’t comprehend a difference between this:

        and this:

        just based on visual inspection, so I wouldn’t even bother trying to explain it with words.

      • Roundhouse Kick

        I take my hat off to you, Mr McBeef. One of very few people whose comments reflect any shred of sensibleness.

        For all you people out there who’re so enthusiastic to take offence (at anything, not just at people putting makeup on their faces): Fuck off. Nothing actually happens to you when you get offended. Grow up.

      • “Visual inspection”? Are you fucking kidding me? Sorry, McBeef, but that’s ridiculously simplistic- and pretty moronic. Sadly, you’re the one who simply doesn’t get it – and maybe if you’d bothered to actually READ that article rather than just using it to link to Eddie Cantor’s picture in your quest for differences via “visual inspection”, rather than embarrassing yourself further by referencing an article that positively shat all over your so-called argument, you might have actually learned something.

        Namely, no matter how loudly you declare that the color Hough used is lighter than the traditional shoe poish, and her lips aren’t cartoonishly outlined as Eddie Cantor’s, Al Jolson’s, or any End Man you care to name, and use lots of visual aids to show that one image doesn’t exactly resemble the other, it’s still blackface. And because of its history, it’s toxic – it poisons every “tribute” that the unaware, ignorant or simply unthinking, like Hough, think is somehow complimentary to the person they’re trying to impersonate. There is no way to redeem it or make it palatable, and the more you insist it’s not, or else that Cannon or the Wayans’ brothers’ “whiteface” somehow evens the score, the more obtuse and idiotic you appear. Hough could have left off the blackface and still have been easily identifiable as “Crazy Eyes” – but as soon as she slapped on the blackface, everything changed. Hough should just have cut to the chase and dressed up as Aunt Jemima – maybe then even youwould have gotten it.

        “Easily butthurt” is ironic, because it’s actually what you and the others who can’t stand to be told “no” appear to be. As in: it’s not cool to run around in makeup that makes use of any minority identity as “dress up” fun. As in: because you’re white you don’t get to determine that people who don’t get to wash that minority identity away at the end of the night have no right be offended by your “innocent” attempt at fun, As in: your attempt to “own” their identity is one of privilege, and to represent any minority for temporary fun is, at the very least, pretty fucking insulting because it’s just yet another page in the “ownership” handbook.

        So rather than dismissively and contemptuously labeling anyone who does get it as “PC”, maybe you should ask yourself just why it is that you can’t seem to stand for anything – as in, apparently, ever – to be off limits to you.

      • Have you ever successfully brow beat someone into taking offense to fucking everything? Maybe next time. Cuz fuck knows your ass will attempt to corral any conversation with this moral superiority horseshit you obviously give yourself an erection with.

        You’ve got to be a just a fucking treat IRL. I bet people shut the fuck up and scatter like cockroaches when your tedious ass walks in the room.

      • Still butthurt, are we?

      • not enough to write multiple 10,000 word self righteous diatribes on a celebrity gossip website. fuck off, justie.

      • You mean the very same gossip website that you put your own diatribe on? That one? For shame, McBeef – I’m still not seeing any sort of refutation, even a half-assed one, anywhere in that.

        Sorry you see me as “self-righteous”; I actually thought you were capable of more introspection than you’re displaying here, but apparently not. It’s a pity you chose to link to a site that blew you out of the water at the get-go and you can’t see any way to recover from that – well, other than name calling, that is. When that’s all that you can come up with, maybe it’s time to rethink your initial premise – or examine just why it is that you can’t let it go.

  16. Damn Nick, this is fucked up you couldn’t post a photo of Mariah’s tits; what an asshole.

  17. wilbur jenkins

    no one seemed to care when he did it on america’s got talent.

  18. Griefer

    It would have been better if they had a blackfaced Seacrest interviewing whitefaced Cannon.

  19. Does anyone really, REALLY give a fuck about this? Hell, maybe he dressed in whiteface so he could go out and find a real job.

  20. Juano

    Just accept the fact that he’s an idiot, who thinks he’s funny and he isn’t.
    And Julianne Hough was an idiot for dressing up the way she did as well.
    But frankly, all this crap about “I’m white, I’m offended” or “I’m black, I’m offended” is tiresome. The guy has no career, no talent, and no prospects. So, he’s a moron.

  21. Does this mean I’m still good to go for donning yellowface when I release my Asian People Party Music album?

  22. Bob

    White Chicks was offensive to intelligence.

  23. Sigh

    Most people in the world don’t live in the US, and don’t have the same associations as you with “blackface” in regards to slavery(specially since slavery has been going on for thooouuussaands of years, to all cultures, it’s still going on(across all cultures)..
    If you’re going to get pissy over one, get pissy over both, or do the normal thing; And just ignore stupid people?

  24. Chokobaski

    I didn’t know TheSuperficial was a hardcore liberal board.

    This place is more leftist and braindead than reddit.

    Everyone who’s called out the double-standard gets downvoted, and the circlejerk ensues. Disgusting.

  25. So much for “Two wrongs don’t make a right”.

  26. NotGuilty

    All you white-haters just need to sack up. Your strategy of insulting everyone who disagrees with you and calling them ignorant is just laughable. Speaking of ignorance, are you aware that white people have been enslaved in the history of humankind as well? How about who owned the first black slave in the US? Google is your friend. We live in a time where -anybody- can learn -anything- with the smallest amount of effort, and no one chooses to do so. Sure, I’ll agree that it is not appropriate for people to dress in blackface and make a mockery of black people. I also don’t think it’s appropriate when black people pretend to be white, “whiteface” or not, and portray them in an insulting manner. The character’s name is Smallnuts…really? Haha..white people have small penises and penis size is the most important thing in the world! Haha…maybe they should look for something else to be proud of other than a large penis.

    As far as #3 above in FIsh’s post:
    You’re white and have a statistically better chance at avoiding poverty, unemployment, racial discrimination, street crime, and imprisonment. Nick Cannon in makeup isn’t going to change that.

    Hrm…could there be a cause for this? Nah..probably not. Just coincidence. Or the white man keeping them down.

    • not guilty: this website is run by a guy ridden with white guilt. he might as well write for
      he fully subscribes to liberal progressive ideals and those who do not are always mocked by him and his ‘enlightened’ followers.
      do not try to fight progressive ‘logic’ with actual logic.

  27. Roundhouse Kick

    It’s worth noting that he’s disguised as a ginger. I’m not sure that even counts as white.

  28. AbRtFl

    “white people are mad now”

    Nah probably not

  29. Gawd a’mighty…these people have way too much spare time.

  30. TheAdmiral

    Just so we’re all reading from the same playbook, can we get, like, a grid chart of which races can do faces from which other races and which can’t? Can whites do China-Face? Can Hispanics do Arab-Face? Can black people do Hispanic-face? Because we had that whole thing with the Moors and Spain a while ago where they kinda invaded and took over much of Spain until the Reconquista, so, that might be kinda insensitive, right?

    Really though, I know that it’s supposed to be insensitive for white people to wear black-face and it’s ok for black people to wear white face, but…. do you really have to rub it in people’s faces? It’s almost like gloating. Ok dude, you won, you’re totally in the right on this one. But, I kinda thought we’d both, ya know, just not go there out of courtesy. You can do something that you have a right to do, but still do it in a way that’s kinda being a dick, ya know?

    • I don’t think anyone’s saying that it’s “OK” for black people to wear whiteface, at least in the way that Cannon’s doing it – my opinion is that just because he’s a minority doesn’t make his racism towards a majority any more palatable or acceptable than the reverse; he’s not due a pas by any means. It’s just that it still has little to no impact when it comes to any sort of oppression or ownership, so it’s ultimately kind of pointless.

      Kind of like Nick Cannon.

  31. It’s nice to see there still are some people with working logic and moral centers, seeing the comments are leaning slightly against Fish &Co.

    Reverse racism is just as bad as racism, or even worse since they claim to fight against racism but practice it themselves.

    Some people at least understand the sayings “Two wrongs don’t make a right” and “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done to you.”

    I myself don’t care about any of the “faces”, except perhaps for the real blackface, or better, what was done with it, though that still would only be my opinion. But I care when people lambast the one – even when it was not even intended* as racism and only recognizable as it to overly sensitive minds – but not the other out of political correctness. PC is called that precisely because it is in fact… not correct. These days at least. It was and is a good idea to try to be mindful of each other, but it loses all authority and respect when the PC crowd aren’t consistent and just shoot through to the other extreme, becoming nothing more than severely annoying hypocrites.

    * Yes, intent matters. Being offended is just that: being offended. If we should avoid everything offensive to anyone, please, Fish, start by closing down your site then. But I guess your political correctness ends there, doesn’t it?

    To steal Iveski’s comment from the Hough post:

    I believe in absolute freedom of expression. Everyone has a right to offend and be offended.
    – Taslima Nasrin

    Avoiding offense means that we don’t accept each other as equals.
    – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

    “What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.”
    – Salman Rushdie

    It’s now very common to hear people say, ‘I’m rather offended by that.’ As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more… than a whine. ‘I find that offensive.’ It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I am offended by that.’ Well, so fucking what.”
    – Stephen Fry

    • Ah yes, I forgot. It isn’t even “your” site, so I should have said “stop writing for this site then”.

      I like you, and I like your political posts too, but on this issue you’re an annoying hypocrite, more destroying than protecting what was fought for for ages and is still being fought for. People like you don’t further the cause, they discredit it.

    • Oh, fuck off. If you can’t see a difference between a majority power mocking a minority and a minority mocking the Powers That Be, there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

      • Sure I see the difference. But I’m not such a politically correct hypocrite that I put one as more acceptable than the other. What didn’t you understand about “Two wrongs don’t make a right” and “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done to you”? While extremists to the other side are sometimes useful or even needed to push to and reach the middle ground, in the end they’re just as wrong as the racists, misogynists etc. they oppose.

        Equality is equal for everyone, not more equal for minorities.
        That can mean you have to pump more money their way to indeed get that equality. Or protectionist measures to guarantee political representation can sometimes be advisable. Etc. etc.
        But they are not exempt from social acceptable behavior they moreover expect from everyone else because they’re a boohoohoo minority.

    • Sweet merciful crap, someone actually reads the shit I write here.


      • Rereading the comments, I see that I also stole, sorry, got inspired by precisely you for “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” And two days ago I commented on Shia’s plagiarism. Damn.

        I guess you can call yourself inspirational.

  32. ChickenHawk

    Who’s Nick Cannon?

  33. P.T.S. (Potential Trouble Source)

    I love everyone, except Nick Cannon…..

  34. Grand Dragon

    I don’t care about any of this as long as white people still own everything and are in charge of everything :)

  35. RAWZ

    That picture just feels right

  36. jw

    Go fuck yourself ,nigger lover

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