Nick Cannon Left Mariah Carey Because She’s Crazy

August 27th, 2014 // 21 Comments
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Here’s Nick Cannon after visiting his kids yesterday where he surprisingly didn’t leave the building with a trident sticking out of his chest considering he’s telling people he’s the one who left because Mariah Carey is goddamn crazy. TMZ reports:

Nick has made it clear to all involved … he’s deeply concerned about Mariah’s emotional state and is ending the marriage for the well being of their kids. He believes the environment around Mariah is toxic and fears for his kids.
We’re told Nick believes his kids have already shown signs of emotional upset living with Mariah.
Our sources say Nick’s MO is simple … he wants to create an environment separate from Mariah that gives the kids a safe haven from the “chaos” at her home.
Nick is also telling his people he’s deeply concerned about Mariah’s mental health and believes her people don’t care about anything but her ability to make money and pay their salaries.

Of course, if you’ll notice the kids are still with Mariah, and she had a lovely, friendly dinner with Nick the other night because she has all the money and a vagina, so I hope he enjoys jumping through hoops. Although, these ones are only metaphorical which beats the shit out of those flaming ones that always scorched his tuxedo, but that bitch and her damn gun… Anyway, it’s important to stay positive. For the kids.

Photos: INFphoto, Splash News


  1. And he didn’t know that going in?

  2. That guy reminds me of the WB frog.

  3. It didn’t occur to me until just now that I’ve been getting the Nick Cannon/Mariah Carey drama confused with the Jay-Z/Beyonce drama.

    Apparently, these are two different couples who are fantastically wealthy and successful and are making each other miserable for our entertainment. I learned something today.

    • Here’s how you tell the difference: One couple is made up of two recording artists who are each fantastically wealthy and successful individually. The other couple is made up of one wealthy and successful recording artist, and a guy whose biggest claim to fame is being a punchline in a Dave Chappelle sketch. Remember? Dave Chappelle’s kid going, “he’s hilarious”? C’mon, you can’t tell me anything else Nick Cannon’s ever done.

  4. Nick Cannon Tired Wearing Sweatsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Check out that face… most definitely the face of a dude in the middle of getting divorced.

  5. JC

    Our sources continued, “Also, Nick would really like it if Mariah didn’t drag her kids along to Terry Richardson photoshoots. He’s tired of washing semen out of their hair and trying to explain to them why ‘the scary man’ keeps poking them in the face with his ‘snake thingy.’”

  6. Cock Dr

    Didn’t he understand his purpose in the Mariah Carey psychodrama? She got her semen delivery & now his usefulness is over. Take the parting gifts & prizes now & quietly go away.

  7. Shit Sherlock

    I knew she was insane after she brought her infant daughters to Terry Richardson’s apartment.

  8. “Nick Cannon is deeply concerned about Mariah’s mental health”—translated:

    Kim Kardashian??? You slept with that trashy-ass ho? You no-account motherfucker, get the fuck outta my house!”

    “Yo, everyone, Mariah’s trippin’. She crazy, yo.”

  9. Obvious Captain is obvious.

  10. Hmm

    Translation, Mariah Carey has a super duper pre-nup which gives Nick little to no money so he needs to make her look crazy so he can get custody of the kids and also more money.

  11. You mean he’s not rolling in a fuck-ton of America’s Got Talent hosting money? I refuse to believe it.

  12. When I heard they were breaking up my first thought was, Da Brat must be getting out of jail…

  13. Phil Whitestone

    Nick is doing fine all by himself. Mariah IMHO is done. Name something she’s done in the last 10 years. She has plenty in common with KK, like the amount of photoshopping done on her photos. I don’t know much about Nick, but he seems to be an descent, honest (admitted to banging KK without being part of her unreality show), straight-forward guy who made a mistake and got married instead of continuing to enjoy himself.

  14. anonym

    damn he looks like a hobo.

    They must do some real magic on him to get him ready to host whatever tv show he hosts

  15. right

    This guy was just running the golddigger 101 reverse playbook. Seriously, nobody would marry that crazy hoe for real.

  16. Also, because “She’s Fat. REALLY fat.”

  17. Jimmy

    Nick was smart and left that crazy ho – Mariah is a washed up has been.

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