Niciole Richie charged with DUI

February 16th, 2007 // 65 Comments

nicole-richie-dui.jpgNicole Richie was charged with a DUI today for the incident in December when she was arrested for driving the wrong way on the freeway in her SUV. The case allso alleges she had a prior misdemeanor DUI conviction in 2003 and according to Calfiornia law, if convicted of a DUI twice within 10 years a person faces a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail, a fine between $390 and $1,000, and a suspension of driving privileges.

So here’s to hoping Nicole Richie gets convicted. If prison is anything like my DVD collection has taught me, she’ll have the time of her life in there. You wouldn’t believe what those security guards do with their nightsticks during shower time. Oh, no, you would not believe. It is wonderful and arousing to say the least.



  1. JungleRed

    She couldn’t tell she was going the wrong way with those groovy night-vision glasses?

  2. doodee head

    She has Bette Davis eyes.

  3. misanthrope

    So, when will welding masks catch on? She’s wearing big girls sunglasses. The prison guards are lubricating as we speak.

  4. Italian Stallion

    Maybe someone named Laquisha will force feed her……..

  5. judge and jury

    So she was booked for Driving Under Ideal Weight?

  6. RichPort

    Nightsticks??? The most she could manage would be a greased toothpick.

  7. Jack Handey

    Eight posts!

    Seems like quite the busy news day for the superficial.

  8. niner11

    what a slut

  9. sid

    “So here’s to hoping Nicole Richie gets convicted.”



    Seriously, can you lay off with the new stories for today? One more and my song thing gets knocked off the bottom. Thanks.

    Come on Superfish, you work hard; you’ve posted stories and video. You deserve a break. We’ve got enough for the weekend.

  10. MrSemprini

    When I saw the picture, the first thought I had was that we have confirmation on the existence of alien intelligence. Then, reality hit. This is a down day…

  11. JungleRed

    She should be charged with felony assault for subjecting us to that outfit.

  12. biatcho

    i love it when bad things happen to fatties.

  13. Jack Handey

    Sid, you were a minute late with your post.

    Good luck with your song thing though.

  14. jrzmommy

    #9 something tells me you’ll repost it…

  15. JungleRed

    Is she going for the Mr. Magoo look or Hans Moleman from the Simpsons?

  16. she probably won’t learn her lesson, but at least she’ll have to stop wearing those ridiculous glasses in jail.

  17. p911gt10c

    Willy Wonka was drivin drunk?

  18. Saera

    How many pairs of glasses does Nicole have? D:

  19. dr phil

    All the posts are because Fish himself is worried that tonight he’ll have a very vivid dream about Harry Potter’s clenched ass.

  20. schack

    could it be fate, the flecks in our eyes are mirror images, and when we kiss they’re perfectly aligned?

    Before she goes anywhere, she’s gotta lose in weight what, for the sake of virtue, she has to gain.

    Which basically means she’ll more than have disappeared, before she can safely say she’s not FAT.

  21. Anexio

    If anybody pokes something in Nicole Richie’s nightstick hole they’re gonna pull out a stub.

    There’s acid in there baby! Acid and used gum…oh and bugs. Theres bugs in there too.

  22. schack

    that one was for you, my little unipole

  23. dirt chicken

    There’s not a prison that can hold her. That skinny biatch can slip through the bars, and crawl thrugh a hole in the chain link. If she’s spotted all she has to do is turn sideways ! She’ll be a regular HO-dini !

  24. Superfreek

    Oh My God, Nicole Richie may go to prison !!! Oh nevermind, she’s not thin enough to do any magazine covers anymore and her glasses are getting more ridiculous by the day…Nicole, we know it’s you ! You are the only person whose shades are bigger than the actual body :) Ta Sweety,

  25. greatestntheworld

    Wow, insignificance wears owl glasses.

  26. schack

    dirt chicken. you are too right. i bet she could swim out through the pipes, anorexic shawshank style

  27. misanthrope

    @23… Maybe they’ll give her a Hannibal cell, without the air holes. Crap, but then there’s the drawer thingy.

  28. Sheva

    Adds a whole new meaning to bug-eyed.
    WTF is up with the ridiculous Elton John deification?

  29. schack

    foiled again!

  30. dirt chicken

    @ 26 Yup ! Just flush her narrow ass down the toilet, and coast through the pipes to freedom.

  31. Maybe she’ll finally pick up some weight in jail. They give you three hots and a cot.

  32. RussianMafia

    Bug in jail.. Buzzzzzz

  33. pekpekshorts

    she’s cute. i’d do her.

  34. Stink

    I thought the bratty girl didn’t make it to Willy Wonka’s shrink ray…

  35. woodhorse

    She looks like Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY. That means she’s NOT “fly”, she’s fugly.

  36. Get off her jock already.

  37. sid

    Jack Handy: Thank you.

    Actually, I went and visited that thread after it got wiped off the main page, and people were still replying.

    LyraBelacqua suggested humiliating myself a little and singing it to a record store. It’s a good idea.

    Thanks to all who helped :)

    There’s a lot of love here. I know we like to have fun with the celebs, but there’s some good folks here :)

    Yay :)

  38. fritobandito

    Give a hoot! Don’t pollute! or, Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

  39. MrSemprini

    #38 you are old! I should know…

  40. cayana

    Omfg. That pic. I scrolled down and I was like OH! SHIT! Wtf is that? The Fly?

  41. NotTheMomma

    are you kidding me? she won’t see a day in jail. she’ll get community service, and she’ll pay her maid to do it for her while she goes to france or something.

  42. crazyotto

    When your just famous for being a party girl its eventualy gonna bite you in the ass,stupid bitch

  43. licklick

    Will someone please throw this skinny little slut a cheeseburger? Bitch needs to fatten up a bit!

  44. Mick

    she owns over 300 pairs, I read somehwere.

    I like nicole richie, I can’t really exaplin exactly why but I do. I don’t hope jailtime on anyone but she does need to get it together and stop doing harmful things to herself. She’s not as bad as she use to be at least.

  45. Mick

    She looks really good. Blonde is best on her.

  46. Seamus Begonia Smell

    Misogynist piece of trash.

  47. Man you guys are rough!

  48. ReelWorld

    Why oh why do these tarts insist on wearing those STUPID looking sunglasses?? It makes me feel like pulling them off their makeup caked faces and forcefeeding them to her!

  49. Lowlands

    I almost overlooked this post but finally i found it.I recommend those securityguards to take bigger nightsticks. otherwise they could grab by her by mistake in a reflex,thinking it’s their nightstick.

  50. Lowlands

    ~49~It’s ‘grab her by’.

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