Next Time You Fly United Airlines, You Might Sit Next to A Topless Chrissy Teigen

United Airlines made everyone lose their shit yesterday when they kicked two 10-year-old girls off a flight for wearing leggings, claiming it was a violation of their dress code. I didn’t lose my shit because I spend my Sundays in an earthen hovel as far away from Twitter as I can possibly be. Chrissy Teigen however, momentarily lost her shit and came to the defense of these poor girls who are definitely NOT Syrian refugees:

I have flown United before with literally no pants on. Just a top as a dress. Next time I will wear only jeans and a scarf.

In these turbulent times, fighting back at corporate oppression with your boobs out is exactly what this country needs. I like where Chrissy’s head is at. For starters, she’s standing up against the “pilot patriarchy” of big airlines by defending two young girls who are definitely NOT missing North Korean children.

You might be thinking, “who cares?” and that’s totally fine, but don’t tell Chrissy that because she will digitally ether your punk-ass on Twitter if you try and troll her. One vile user by the sinister name of “Matt” tried to shade John Legend’s wife with the same pointed question of “who cares?”… BIG mistake, Matt! Y’assface!

I dunno Matt maybe check what’s trending because it’s EVERYONE u tool face!

CORRECTION: Matt is not an “assface” as I so hastily concluded… Chrissy Teigen confirmed that Matt is actually a “tool face” and I apologize for the wrongful categorization.

So hats off to you, Chrissy Teigen, for defending these young girls who are definitely NOT endangered panda cubs. Let freedom ring and as Alan Jackson once said in two completely unrelated statements, “pop a top again” and “boobs are great”.