Reese Witherspoon is sporty

- Reese Witherspoon training to be a softball player. Think of her as your butch gym teacher that you wouldn’t mind see kiss a girl. [ICYDK]

- Ryan Phillippe wears a wifebeater and takes his daughter Ava out for a bagel. Thnk of him as your butch gym teach- Wait, I already used that joke. [PopSugar]

- Sean Penn is officially on his way to divorce which means only one thing: Time for blonde highlights. Because, honestly, liberals aren’t thought of as closet gays enough. Thanks, Sean Penn! [Jezebel]

- Daniel Radcliffe’s has a new transvestite best friend. Okay, maybe those Harry Potter books do fuck a kid up. You win, church. [Best Week Ever]

- Justin Timberlake will be hosting SNL tomorrow night because, obviously, he hates having sex with Jessica Biel 24/7. That’s like owning a motorcycle and not jumping over a helicopter with it. Sad. [Lainey Gossip]

- New Kids on the Block continue to get booked on The Today Show confirming what I’ve suspected all along. Matt Lauer is the missing Wahlberg brother. So, the prophecy was true! [Videogum]