Reese Witherspoon is sporty

May 8th, 2009 // 25 Comments

- Reese Witherspoon training to be a softball player. Think of her as your butch gym teacher that you wouldn’t mind see kiss a girl. [ICYDK]

- Ryan Phillippe wears a wifebeater and takes his daughter Ava out for a bagel. Thnk of him as your butch gym teach- Wait, I already used that joke. [PopSugar]

- Sean Penn is officially on his way to divorce which means only one thing: Time for blonde highlights. Because, honestly, liberals aren’t thought of as closet gays enough. Thanks, Sean Penn! [Jezebel]

- Daniel Radcliffe’s has a new transvestite best friend. Okay, maybe those Harry Potter books do fuck a kid up. You win, church. [Best Week Ever]

- Justin Timberlake will be hosting SNL tomorrow night because, obviously, he hates having sex with Jessica Biel 24/7. That’s like owning a motorcycle and not jumping over a helicopter with it. Sad. [Lainey Gossip]

- New Kids on the Block continue to get booked on The Today Show confirming what I’ve suspected all along. Matt Lauer is the missing Wahlberg brother. So, the prophecy was true! [Videogum]

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Comments (25)

  1. Jesus Cruz | May 8, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    Ugh no.

    Reply
  2. telly | May 8, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    her leg looks kinda freaky in that third picture. love her though.

    Reply
  3. Kermit the Frog | May 8, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    Most blonds tend to have a pretty short shelf life in the looks department; very cute to smoking hot from 16-22 or so, then they hit the wall at around 25, and really begin rolling downhill at 30.

    I give you Reese Witherspoon, born 1976. Age 33. Your honor, the prosecution rests.

    Give her another 7 years, and she be either Botox’ed and plastic surgery-ized to this hilt, or she’ll look like the Crypt-Keeper.

    Or maybe both. It *is* Hollywood.

    Reply
  4. Larry | May 8, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    She has a gorgeous body because she’s actually healthy and not stick-thin… she also looks a decade younger than she is.

    Reply
  5. big b | May 8, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    I see camel toe.

    Reply
  6. toni | May 8, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    bitch has chin for days!

    Reply
  7. Fun Online | May 9, 2009 at 12:37 am

    She Has a Good figure. looks younger
    for more click on my name

    Reply
  8. gerard vandenberg | May 9, 2009 at 1:01 am

    don’t you see it?
    THIS WOMAN NEEDS TO SHIT DESPERATELY, folks!!

    Reply
  9. Jenna Brown | May 9, 2009 at 3:11 am

    Glamour Magazine is having a great promo right now with Maybelline that’s perfect for Mother’s Day. For every $15 you spend on Maybelline New York products you get a $5 Target gift card if you mail in your receipt:) Check it out on GlamAlert.com/Maybelline.

    Reply
  10. CPHostPro | May 9, 2009 at 4:06 am

    Looking great, healthy and beatiful

    Reply
  11. lily white | May 9, 2009 at 5:55 am

    She is so tall and hot.I know a place you can date with such girls.
    *** Seekingtall.com *** which I have joined.­ I think it is interesting and you will like it.

    Reply
  12. mikeock | May 9, 2009 at 6:22 am

    her voice would drive me insane. Besides, her cooter’s been soiled with Gyllenhaal spooge. It’s probably acidic now.

    Reply
  13. barbie | May 9, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Oh, I love this girl! She’s so cute and pretty? I wish I had her cute face, her cute husband and her cute children. Reese you are the best and stay fit, don’t be like Jessica Simpson!!!

    Reply
  14. lilly | May 9, 2009 at 11:18 am

    she is the prettiest of all the young celebrities. Scarlett johanssen IS ugly compared to her , that charmless beast. she is just so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!cutie pie! I just wonna eat her up!!!!!

    Reply
  15. ROUGH-ism | May 9, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Magnificent forehead! wonder if shell accept the role of Brainiac 5 in the next Superman.

    Reply
  16. Paulina | May 9, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    Barbie, of course she wont turn out like Jessica. Reese has talents, mental stability, fans, a sane family, respect from Hollywood…Do you want me to keep listing reasons?

    Reply
  17. baba booey | May 9, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    nice asshole!

    Reply
  18. Parker | May 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    If I caught her in that outfit I’d tie her helmet to a fence, pull her shorts down to her knees and butffuck her.

    Reply
  19. Unklejoe | May 9, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    I hate this toothy bitch

    Reply
  20. Dan Montana | May 9, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Cottage cheese legs eeeeekkk

    Reply
  21. zebop | May 10, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    That pointy chin means she”ll stab you in the nuts while she’s giving head, but she’s a shorty and still kind of cute.

    Plus, she already has her knee pads on. Girl knows what time it is.

    I’d hit it with my bat and balls.

    Reply
  22. Crybaby | May 11, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Louis Kestenbaum & Joel Kestenbaum, Fortis Property Group close sale of Galleria Towers
    Jones Lang LaSalle announced the firm’s capital markets experts have completed the sale of Galleria Towers I, II & III on behalf of Brooklyn, New York-based Fortis Property Group (Louis Kestenbaum), LLC to Los-Angeles-based Cannon Commercial. Financial terms were not disclosed but sources close to the transaction estimate the closing price was in excess of $300 million.
    “We acquired the Galleria Towers from Blackstone (which acquired them from Trizec Properties) in November 2006, and maximized value by aggressively pushing rental rates while at the same time increasing the occupancy from around 90% to 98%,” said Fortis Chairman Louis Kestenbaum. Louis Kestenbaum is the father of Joel Kestenbaum, also of Fortis Property. “The disposition of this asset furthers our goals of maximizing investor returns and geographically diversifying the holdings within our portfolio” says Louis Kestenbaum.

    Reply
  23. jessica | June 9, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    A Sordid Lawsuit Shakes the Satmar Chasidic world .

    Brooklyn N.Y. Lezer ( Louis ) Kestenbaum chairman of the ODA in Williamsburg Brooklyn NY resigned from the ODA soon after settling a lawsuit filed in May in U.S. District Court for the District of Florida for an undisclosed sum alleging he had a sexual relationship with a minor, Joel Kestnbaum the son of Louis kestenbaum will become chairman of the ODA.

    Reply
  24. YUCK | December 11, 2009 at 6:56 am

    Reese Witherspoon is so ugly.

    Reply
  25. usb flash drive | May 10, 2010 at 1:29 am

    I love this girl! He is so cute and beautiful? I wish I had her pretty face, her lovely husband and lovely children. Reese you are the best and to stay fit, do not be like Jessica Simpson!

    Reply

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