Rihanna flees to the east coast

May 6th, 2009 // 29 Comments

- Rihanna hunts for apartments in New York while Chris Brown hunts for a new woman. Literally. He’s got a tranq gun. [ICYDK]

- George Clooney was apparently America’s handsomest baby. At least that’s what all seven nurses in the delivery room said after the sex. [PopSugar]

- Miss California might be stripped of her title for making unauthorized appearances campaigning against gay marriage and posing nude while underage. For those keeping score at home, add “jaiblait porn” to the list of things Jesus approves of besides gay marriage. [Best Week Ever]

- Bristol Palin says she’s for abstinence now after becoming The Candies Foundation Teen Ambassador. Still got that Jesus list out? Add “marketing sexy perfume to young girls” and “blatant hypocrisy.” I’m thinking somewhere between “blatant hypocrisy” and “fake tits.” [Jezebel]

- Natalie Portman gets interviewed by Zach Galifianakis. In related news, I don’t smoke near enough weed. [Allie is Wired]

- Nicole Kidman’s Schweppe’s commercial doesn’t really sell soft drinks as much as it encourages teaching young Indian girls to cocktease strange men. Fun Fact: I’m not joking. [Videogum]

Photos: Splash News

  1. Mike Hawk

    ella ella ella ella……

  2. give it a rest

    You know what else Jesus loves? Sinners. Give these people a break for being Christian. It’s so tired and old already.

  3. xxxdeadgirlsuperstarxxx

    Are there any Terminator fans out there that are disgusted as I am at the news that Rihanna recorded the theme for the T4?

  4. Wim

    Somebody beat her pants halfway off.

  5. I hate this new aggregation thing. Remember when it was just pictures and some smart-ass mouthing off about them? Me too. Bring it back.

  6. The Observer

    You know what else is blatant hypocrisy? Constantly being on about tolerance and acceptance while constantly demonizing Christians and ‘Rednecks’ at the same time.

    It’s getting old, and was never funny to begin with. Leave Christians alone already.

  7. JEB Stewart

    Somebody’s needing a house nigga in New York???

  8. Sheva

    Isn’t it funny how the need for tolerance has been replaced with the need for acceptance. Who is this superfish dick writer who can’t stop crying about one beauty contestant’s opinion anyway?

    Her opinion is no different than her home state. Californians proved it at the ballot box.

    Besides, most homosexuals don’t want to get married. They want the bath houses reopened.

  9. Gando

    Aww! New hairdo?

  10. Jesus

    Leave Christians alone? They don’t leave anyone else alone and I should know I’m Jesus!
    Now pray to me!

  11. my comment

    That’s all we need here in NY. More ugly hair and clothes.

  12. Jacqui Smith


    and by the way, homosexual marriage is ludicrus. Most weddings are gay. The union of a man and woman is a joyful event.

    The idea that 2 men could marry each other is as ridiculous as dog weddings. How about letting zoophiliacs marry their horse while you’re at it.

    Weddings are for the stable establishment of families. Everything else is the ridiculous ridiculous of fallible men that their vanities.

  13. lemmy Caution

    Rihanna is as stunningly hot as she is stunningly stupid. Think there’s a connection?

  14. juniper

    enough about this never was idiot.

  15. kingofbeer

    Damn, she’s fucking hot!

  16. Do not mention Bristol Palin and fake tits in the same sentence superfish, or your going to drive me to bring back “going postal”! and RIRI looks delicious..

  17. Dooley

    I agree with #2, 6, & 8 – drop this intolerance/persecution thing already. Seems like lots of folks are demanding tolerance when it comes to their life style but have none whatsoever for anyone else. Talk about hypocrisy.

    Also, where can I see this Schweppe’s commercial?

  18. Barry O

    Yeah……Miss California blah blah…’Christians are hypocrites’ blah blah. Way to go. The sardonic soapbox is getting old.

    Between ‘Rush speaks for the Conservatives’ and ‘Miss California speaks for Christians’ (says who?), that self-proclaimed logic of progressives fails to pan out.

    Fish’s writing is stale & turning into a snarky caricature. Til Superficial gets back to endearing self-deprecation & celeb feud basics, peace out.

  19. billabong021

    I gotta say she looks really nice in that last pic, I mean REALLY nice.

  20. larrythecableguy

    that’s one fine nigga

  21. I

    Hope she moves to south Bronx.

  22. Victoria Girl

    Jacqui Smith,

    Where should I start? Your entire post, right from the very first word you typed, makes you sound like an illiterate, bigoted ass. Why are you so threatened by gay marriage? The argument that marriage’s only purpose is for men and women to establish families is so tired. What do you say to those who don’t want or can’t have families? Get a life.

    Heterosexual Kisses,

    Victoria Girl


  24. Her career could go shit when this is all said and done…next whitney

    ***Click on my name for great sales at FYDeals, they have huge online sales that could save you tons of cash. Online shopping has the best deals as you are buying derectly from a companies warehouse. They slash the prices as threre is no sales person selling it to you. FINDING YOU DEALS.com***

  25. Darth

    She’s looking quite foxy!

  26. Boogeyman King Dong

    Maybe these corsets are going to be a summer hit.Yum!

  27. trix

    Wow, seriously people, the Superficial writer(s) make fun of everyone. I don’t think there is a single article on this entire site (with the exception of ones mentioning someone’s death) that don’t make fun of the person they are talking about. Christians, homosexuals, jews, blacks, whites, hispanics, asians, women, men, children, old people, models, fat chicks, satanists, douchebags and charity workers alike all get a bad rap here, because that’s what this site is about. I’m sure nobody is forcing you to read this site, if you’re that easily offended by someone making fun of your religion, then stop reading, there are plenty of sites where you can oogle half naked chicks without any banter whatsoever, there are plenty of sites where your own opinions about things are likewise expressed, so why don’t you go there if you have such a problem with them mocking Christains?

    Just learn to laugh at yourself already, and if you can’t then go elsewhere!

  28. The idea is that 2 men can marry each other as the dog is funny as weddings. How about letting zoophiliacs marry his horse while you’re at it.

    Weddings are stable for the establishment of families. Everything is incredibly funny funny men that their vanities.

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