Rihanna flees to the east coast

May 6th, 2009 // 29 Comments

- Rihanna hunts for apartments in New York while Chris Brown hunts for a new woman. Literally. He’s got a tranq gun. [ICYDK]

- George Clooney was apparently America’s handsomest baby. At least that’s what all seven nurses in the delivery room said after the sex. [PopSugar]

- Miss California might be stripped of her title for making unauthorized appearances campaigning against gay marriage and posing nude while underage. For those keeping score at home, add “jaiblait porn” to the list of things Jesus approves of besides gay marriage. [Best Week Ever]

- Bristol Palin says she’s for abstinence now after becoming The Candies Foundation Teen Ambassador. Still got that Jesus list out? Add “marketing sexy perfume to young girls” and “blatant hypocrisy.” I’m thinking somewhere between “blatant hypocrisy” and “fake tits.” [Jezebel]

- Natalie Portman gets interviewed by Zach Galifianakis. In related news, I don’t smoke near enough weed. [Allie is Wired]

- Nicole Kidman’s Schweppe’s commercial doesn’t really sell soft drinks as much as it encourages teaching young Indian girls to cocktease strange men. Fun Fact: I’m not joking. [Videogum]

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Comments (29)

  1. Mike Hawk | May 6, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    ella ella ella ella……

    Reply
  2. give it a rest | May 6, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    You know what else Jesus loves? Sinners. Give these people a break for being Christian. It’s so tired and old already.

    Reply
  3. xxxdeadgirlsuperstarxxx | May 6, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Are there any Terminator fans out there that are disgusted as I am at the news that Rihanna recorded the theme for the T4?

    Reply
  4. Wim | May 6, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Somebody beat her pants halfway off.

    Reply
  5. casualencounters.com/blog/ | May 6, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    I hate this new aggregation thing. Remember when it was just pictures and some smart-ass mouthing off about them? Me too. Bring it back.

    Reply
  6. The Observer | May 6, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    You know what else is blatant hypocrisy? Constantly being on about tolerance and acceptance while constantly demonizing Christians and ‘Rednecks’ at the same time.

    It’s getting old, and was never funny to begin with. Leave Christians alone already.

    Reply
  7. JEB Stewart | May 6, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    Somebody’s needing a house nigga in New York???

    Reply
  8. Sheva | May 6, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    Isn’t it funny how the need for tolerance has been replaced with the need for acceptance. Who is this superfish dick writer who can’t stop crying about one beauty contestant’s opinion anyway?

    Her opinion is no different than her home state. Californians proved it at the ballot box.

    Besides, most homosexuals don’t want to get married. They want the bath houses reopened.

    Reply
  9. Gando | May 6, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    Aww! New hairdo?

    Reply
  10. Jesus | May 6, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Leave Christians alone? They don’t leave anyone else alone and I should know I’m Jesus!
    Now pray to me!

    Reply
  11. my comment | May 6, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    That’s all we need here in NY. More ugly hair and clothes.

    Reply
  12. Jacqui Smith | May 6, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    First!

    and by the way, homosexual marriage is ludicrus. Most weddings are gay. The union of a man and woman is a joyful event.

    The idea that 2 men could marry each other is as ridiculous as dog weddings. How about letting zoophiliacs marry their horse while you’re at it.

    Weddings are for the stable establishment of families. Everything else is the ridiculous ridiculous of fallible men that their vanities.

    Reply
  13. lemmy Caution | May 6, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Rihanna is as stunningly hot as she is stunningly stupid. Think there’s a connection?

    Reply
  14. juniper | May 6, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    enough about this never was idiot.

    Reply
  15. kingofbeer | May 6, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Damn, she’s fucking hot!

    Reply
  16. the world according to ROUGH! | May 6, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    Do not mention Bristol Palin and fake tits in the same sentence superfish, or your going to drive me to bring back “going postal”! and RIRI looks delicious..

    Reply
  17. Dooley | May 6, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    I agree with #2, 6, & 8 – drop this intolerance/persecution thing already. Seems like lots of folks are demanding tolerance when it comes to their life style but have none whatsoever for anyone else. Talk about hypocrisy.

    Also, where can I see this Schweppe’s commercial?

    Reply
  18. Barry O | May 6, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Yeah……Miss California blah blah…’Christians are hypocrites’ blah blah. Way to go. The sardonic soapbox is getting old.

    Between ‘Rush speaks for the Conservatives’ and ‘Miss California speaks for Christians’ (says who?), that self-proclaimed logic of progressives fails to pan out.

    Fish’s writing is stale & turning into a snarky caricature. Til Superficial gets back to endearing self-deprecation & celeb feud basics, peace out.

    Reply
  19. billabong021 | May 6, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    I gotta say she looks really nice in that last pic, I mean REALLY nice.

    Reply
  20. larrythecableguy | May 6, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    that’s one fine nigga

    Reply
  21. I | May 6, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    Hope she moves to south Bronx.

    Reply
  22. Victoria Girl | May 6, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    Jacqui Smith,

    Where should I start? Your entire post, right from the very first word you typed, makes you sound like an illiterate, bigoted ass. Why are you so threatened by gay marriage? The argument that marriage’s only purpose is for men and women to establish families is so tired. What do you say to those who don’t want or can’t have families? Get a life.

    Heterosexual Kisses,

    Victoria Girl

    Reply
  23. gerard vandenberg | May 7, 2009 at 12:08 am

    get used to it, NOT ALL THINGS ARE AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING OVER THERE!!

    Reply
  24. sarah | May 7, 2009 at 2:49 am

    Her career could go shit when this is all said and done…next whitney

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    Reply
  25. Darth | May 7, 2009 at 6:29 am

    She’s looking quite foxy!

    Reply
  26. Boogeyman King Dong | May 7, 2009 at 6:33 am

    Maybe these corsets are going to be a summer hit.Yum!

    Reply
  27. benidorm | May 7, 2009 at 9:13 am

    Who is she?

    Reply
  28. trix | May 7, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Wow, seriously people, the Superficial writer(s) make fun of everyone. I don’t think there is a single article on this entire site (with the exception of ones mentioning someone’s death) that don’t make fun of the person they are talking about. Christians, homosexuals, jews, blacks, whites, hispanics, asians, women, men, children, old people, models, fat chicks, satanists, douchebags and charity workers alike all get a bad rap here, because that’s what this site is about. I’m sure nobody is forcing you to read this site, if you’re that easily offended by someone making fun of your religion, then stop reading, there are plenty of sites where you can oogle half naked chicks without any banter whatsoever, there are plenty of sites where your own opinions about things are likewise expressed, so why don’t you go there if you have such a problem with them mocking Christains?

    Just learn to laugh at yourself already, and if you can’t then go elsewhere!

    Reply
  29. digital camera memory cards | May 10, 2010 at 4:48 am

    The idea is that 2 men can marry each other as the dog is funny as weddings. How about letting zoophiliacs marry his horse while you’re at it.

    Weddings are stable for the establishment of families. Everything is incredibly funny funny men that their vanities.

    Reply

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