Rihanna flees to the east coast

- Rihanna hunts for apartments in New York while Chris Brown hunts for a new woman. Literally. He’s got a tranq gun. [ICYDK]

- George Clooney was apparently America’s handsomest baby. At least that’s what all seven nurses in the delivery room said after the sex. [PopSugar]

- Miss California might be stripped of her title for making unauthorized appearances campaigning against gay marriage and posing nude while underage. For those keeping score at home, add “jaiblait porn” to the list of things Jesus approves of besides gay marriage. [Best Week Ever]

- Bristol Palin says she’s for abstinence now after becoming The Candies Foundation Teen Ambassador. Still got that Jesus list out? Add “marketing sexy perfume to young girls” and “blatant hypocrisy.” I’m thinking somewhere between “blatant hypocrisy” and “fake tits.” [Jezebel]

- Natalie Portman gets interviewed by Zach Galifianakis. In related news, I don’t smoke near enough weed. [Allie is Wired]

- Nicole Kidman’s Schweppe’s commercial doesn’t really sell soft drinks as much as it encourages teaching young Indian girls to cocktease strange men. Fun Fact: I’m not joking. [Videogum]

Photos: Splash News