Paris Hilton secretes dumb

June 18th, 2009 // 27 Comments

- Paris Hilton wants Cristiano Ronaldo to be the David to her Victoria Beckham. If that involves her moving to Europe and immediately becoming irrelevant, where do I sign? [Celebslam]

- Madonna wants Gwyneth Paltrow to decorate Mercy’s nursery. I love how Madonna treats an Oscar-winning actress like a Mexican contractor that better stay under budget. Who knew sorcery could be freaking hilarious? [Lainey Gossip]

- Neil Patrick Harris wants a baby. Somewhere Carrie Prejean’s breasts just went off like klaxons on a battleship. [The Blemish]

- Padma Lakshmi should host things in my kitchen. And, if it makes her feel more comfortable, I have a video camera. Just sayin’. [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Lauren Conrad continues to admit The Hills is staged which now makes her boring and obvious. [PopSugar]

- Katie Holmes is seriously doing that reality dancing show. Remember when she was so hot you used to watch Dawson’s Creek reruns naked in your college dorm room while your roommate was at class? Uh, me neither. [Just Jared]

Photo: WENN

  1. paris is burning

    Oh my, Tinkerbell hasn’t aged well….

  2. I love the Middle Eastern culture and want to learn more about it. The women here are very beautiful and their dresses are certainly a lot more elegant than what women wear in Hollywood.

  3. Venom

    Why would they let this tramp into their country?
    She is the antithesis of everything they believe in.
    Plus she is just plain dirty.

  4. Adnank

    I bet the arabs don’t really care if she is an walking STD! there are plenty of such types in the local community here already.

  5. Lord Mawsley

    If you, or any posters, want her to become irrelevant and disappear, then stop posting on your blog about her and/or making comments on blog posts. It’s not rocket science is it? Now squeeze back into your tracksuits and waddle off down to McDonalds, your favourite ‘restaurant’.

  6. ………………………………….AND DUMBER, folks!!

  7. friendlyfires

    1.)Paris Hilton is … better than Hulu at turning my brains to mush … make it stop …please!
    2.)Neil Patrick Harris … David Hyde Pierce … Ellen DeGeneres … gays I feel totally comfortable around … but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable leaving kids with Ellen …not until she passes the puppy test.
    3.)Gwyneth Paltrow is going to feel real silly when she wakes up from that spell.
    4.)Lauren Conrad still has worms … bad dog …bad dog…woof!

  8. Galtacticus

    If Paris Hilton hooks up seriously with Cristiano Ronaldo then she’ll be next year taking the first place on Forbes’ The Celebrity 100.Her price will go up with 100 times,she’ll be making hundreds of millions a year.This will be the time of her life,the crown on her career.

  9. Rhialto

    Since soccer is very popular on many continents,the queens,kings,political and religious leaders will deeply bow for her.They will offer her stays in their most prestigious palaces,decorate her with the Crown Jewels and beg her for advice in important decisions.

  10. ihateyou

    @19 I am honestly not exaggerating when I say that out of the millions of comments Ive ever heard/read, that yours is by far the dumbest. I honestly hope you die in a car accident today along with you children if you have any.

  11. Cartman

    It looks like that dirty whore got her trademarked wonky eye fixed.

  12. gigi

    Paris is obviously channelling Endora/Jeannie & looking particular gleeful, perhaps she’s just cast a wolloping spell on Derwood or maybe she’s watching Gin-gin, that frigging invisible dog rip Tony’s NASA reports to shreds

  13. coco

    soccer fans won’t allow this to happen. she’s not going to be a WAG!

  14. sebastianudo

    “…Remember when she was so hot you used to watch Dawson’s Creek reruns naked in your college dorm room while your roommate was at class? Uh, me neither” jajajaja sos un genio

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