Bar Rafaeli gets naked-like for Esquire

- George Clooney bags another cocktail waitress. I don’t like to brag but I’ve brought home a few barmaids in my day, and only two ended up having penises. In your face, Clooney! [Lainey Gossip]

- Kevin Federline is making $30,000 to bang his girlfriend in London while pretending to watch his kids which pretty much kicks the shit out of any of Jesus’ miracles. Sure, he brought a dead guy back to life, but did he get paid? These are the questions we must ask ourselves. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Amy Winehouse’s months-long vacation in St. Lucia is being funded by her record label in hopes she’ll shit out another album. So far the only things that’ve come out are two jet skis, a Yeti and Pete Doherty. So that’s where he’s been. [Celebslam]

- Stephanie Pratt is dating Asher Roth who happens to be, I can’t believe I’m typing this, Spencer’s rap rival. How the entire hip-hop industry hasn’t been a gun in its mouth is beyond me. [Just Jared]

- Cameron Diaz admits to getting a nose job and wishes she could have a bigger butt. Has she tried attacking Kim Kardashian with a chisel? Just a thought. [I’m Not Obsessed]

Photo: Esquire