Jon & Kate Plus Televised Marriage Counseling

May 22nd, 2009 // 37 Comments

- Jon & Kate Gosselin are letting TLC tape their marriage counseling sessions. You know what they should tape? The child support hearings. Mostly because I’ve always wanted to see the look of a man forced to pay $1 million/month and wear a court-ordered condom for the rest of his life. [Jezebel]

- Miranda Kerr in a bikini. Or at least part of her and Orlando Bloom, so we’ll call it a draw. [The Blemish]

- Robert Pattinson’s kiss went for $25,000 at the AmFAR benefit in Cannes. Dammit, Tom Cruise, that money was for the Children’s E-meter Center! [Lainey Gossip]

- Fergie forgets to remove her Matrix tube. Must’ve been in a hurry to make out with chicks. With her penis. [Just Jared]

- Spencer Pratt just found out he has low blood platelets. That’s fatal, right? Say “yes.” [ICYDK]

- George Clooney sunbathing. Surprisingly absent? 500 topless cocktail waitresses. I looked up to you, man! [PopSugar]

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. why is it that when american celebs are past the age of fourty………………..
    …………..THEY LOOSE IT, folks?

  2. Dr. Bernardo

    I’d start with a muzzle on that rabid witch.

  3. Janik

    I’d hit it

  4. CG

    You know… I would LOVE to see her in a low budget porn movie like one of the Milf Money or Milf Hunter movies getting splayed out by one of those ugly fuckers. I would PAY to watch that.

  5. GeorgeWBush

    God I hope Jon release the sex tapes he made with Kate when they were a young couple- pretwin years

  6. b

    I would love to watch her and her little freeloading brats hang from the nearest tree.

  7. Jim Jones

    I believe low platelets mean Pratt’s blood will have difficulty clotting. Quick, someone stab the fucker to test that.

  8. p0nk

    TCLTC
    sorry, just has to be done.

  9. Alli

    I like the show Jon and Kate Plus 8. I’ve learned you can’t trust everything you hear. Kate is a bit OCD and Jon is a pushover. But honestly, if Jon doesn’t have the spine to stand up for himself, then maybe he deserves the verbal abuse to an extent (not really, but I hate men that are wimpy) lol. He should just put her in her place *shrugs*. As far as the affairs, consent to cheat crap, I don’t know. Americans are really starting to make a mockery out of marriage if you ask me. It’s a JOKE. And that’s frustrating because I happen to be one of the few happily married individuals. Oh, and I happen to like Kate’s hair. It’s spunky. ;)

  10. alex

    So the guy fucked someone who wasn’t his cunty wife. I thought that was the whole point of marraige, to make banging random skanks that much more fun.

  11. Alli Watermelon

    Oh Alex #11 , don’t ever get married! lol!

  12. Desi Arnaz

    Just looking at this chick and I feel bite marks on my dick.

  13. sharon

    I will never watch that fake show again. I that Kate chick is disgusting.

  14. Cash

    Low blood platelets reduce the body’s ability to seal cuts and wounds, so theoretically he could bleed to death if something happened.

  15. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    #9 & #15: That’s correct. Now let’s see if we can find anyone willing to stab him multiple times.

  16. Give Kate a break! What woman could look after all those kids and not get a bit nuts and bitchy at her husband? NOBODY!!

  17. Cindy

    one can only hope that scam artist bitch’s plane goes down on her next mega-church begging mission—— worthless white trash garbage

  18. Beavis

    why does she have her shirt tucked in like a douchebag?

  19. I CALL kate A WHORE IN THE BODY OF THIS MESSAGE

    One of these stories deals with Miranda Kerr in a bikini and you show a fully clothed dude instead? Sheesh.

  20. kingofbeer

    HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

    John… You’re screwed!!!!!!

    btw kate get a new hairdo

    kthnksby

  21. want more stuff!!!!

  22. I would have cheated on her too..Can you imagine living with the women…OMG ..she is such a nasty.

  23. blink

    Once i let a ture love slip away before my eyes,only to find myself regretting when it was too late,nothing in the world can be as painful as this, so my dear freind, Do not miss the love in your lifetime, go ___ClassyMingle.com.____ to find your ture love.

  24. Funeral Guy

    I caught about 2 minutes of this ball breaking hosebag Gosselin on some show and my dick totally retreated up into my stomach in abject fear.

  25. Kudos

    I don’t blame her for doing her body guard he’s hot! She looks great for having 1/2 dozen kids! You would think she would have wide hips and a big butt like Kim Kardashian after having so many kids.

  26. Kudos

    I don’t blame her for doing her body guard he’s hot! She looks great for having 1/2 dozen kids! You would think she would have wide hips and a big butt like Kim Kardashian after having so many kids.

  27. Kudos

    I don’t blame her for doing her body guard he’s hot! She looks great for having 1/2 dozen kids! You would think she would have wide hips and a big butt like Kim Kardashian after having so many kids.

  28. dethbyrd

    kate- change your fucking hair!! it looks stupid!!!

  29. hatricks

    Was it really worth all the money Kate??? Your family is falling apart and all you care about is making more money off of your litter. You’re nothing but a greedy, OCD, freeloading, bitch. I’m sure she is getting a nice hunk of $$ for her to agree to let them tape their gay ass marriage counseling sessions. Anything for money….dumb whore.

  30. Keith

    Either I’m tired or she is starting to look like an alien to me from the planet Nagbitch, sent to Earth to suck the life out of men. Project Jon is done and over, but I just hope her cover is blown before she has her three boys in mary janes and pink party dresses singing ‘It’s a Beautiful life” in falsetto.

  31. oldestchild

    What a train-wreck.
    1) Kate is acutally abusive towards Jon – after years and years of abuse she gets away with he’s not of his right mind (at all) He looked like he was in a funk or drugged on the show
    2) Kate says she HAS to go out and do book signings – for her family? What forever? For the books Beth in actuality wrote? People don’t do book siginings forever. Her family is in crisis – she could be home if she wanted to – she wants to go on with this and it’s her own dreams for KATE ..has nothing to do with her children. JON is the one that has given up his dreams and is home with his children…who clearly are more attached to him sentimentally than her.
    3) Did you see how many times she said she had to to do the birthday party herself? (but note how much help she had) My Aunt had 6 kids – my cousin has 8 kids – they never needed help or behaved like they were some martyr to put on a party for their kids. She always complains when she has to be alone with her own children.
    4) She had a paid for tummy tuck after she had her children – that is why is back in shape. She has become a narcissist and it’s now all about KATE. But that hair!!! Very small-town trailer trashy and long over-do for a new and improved do. She doesn’t even realize how ridiculous that duck’s ass hiding her face (boy is that freudian) is.
    5) If she cared about her children and her family – she would stop the book tours and drop the idea for her own tV show (yes she has a talk-show in the works) Jon wanted to stop the show at the end of last season. She clearly stated oh well because she did NOT. Can you imagine what her poor kids are being told and how they are being treated in school?
    Kate? Is disgusting. Jon? Looks like he if it wasn’t for his children he’d take the bridge.
    Jon & Kate is a trainwreck of what money and greed and selfishness can do to a family. These poor children. I’m done watching..it’s just sad and disgusting…really really disgusting.

  32. Couples tapeing their own sessions -An interesting new idea. :)

  33. Could those smiles be any more forced? It’s pathetic They obviously don’t want to be together so they should separate and get the kids counseling for them to understand and deal with the impending/eventual divorce.

  34. Marriage counseling helps to the couple to resolve conflicts and bring harmony in the married relations. If you have problems in your married life, you should not wait long to go to the professional counselor. Because long term conflicts in married life can later lead to the divorce. Counseling centers offer family counseling, relationship counseling, couple therapy and many more services to the couples.

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