Jon & Kate Plus Televised Marriage Counseling

- Jon & Kate Gosselin are letting TLC tape their marriage counseling sessions. You know what they should tape? The child support hearings. Mostly because I’ve always wanted to see the look of a man forced to pay $1 million/month and wear a court-ordered condom for the rest of his life. [Jezebel]

- Miranda Kerr in a bikini. Or at least part of her and Orlando Bloom, so we’ll call it a draw. [The Blemish]

- Robert Pattinson’s kiss went for $25,000 at the AmFAR benefit in Cannes. Dammit, Tom Cruise, that money was for the Children’s E-meter Center! [Lainey Gossip]

- Fergie forgets to remove her Matrix tube. Must’ve been in a hurry to make out with chicks. With her penis. [Just Jared]

- Spencer Pratt just found out he has low blood platelets. That’s fatal, right? Say “yes.” [ICYDK]

- George Clooney sunbathing. Surprisingly absent? 500 topless cocktail waitresses. I looked up to you, man! [PopSugar]

Photos: Splash News