Anna Faris, will you marry me? (Or just do naked stuff.)

- Anna Faris accidentally sent a sexually explicit text to a child during a routine “Sex Text Wednesday” with her boyfriend. And it’s official, I must kill this man in battle and take Anna as my bride. There’s really no other option at this point. [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Christian Bale keeps getting asked about the leaked rant on the set of Terminator: Salvation, yet no one is getting headbutted. You’ve changed, man. You’ve changed. [Lainey Gossip]

- Mario Lopez threw the first pitch of last night’s Dodger’s game. I could go for the obvious joke here and say he throws like a woman, but why delude ourselves? It’s more like a gay man. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Jon & Kate Gosselin will talk about their marital woes on the season premiere of their show. Then make their children wear top hats and tap dance because once you stop exploiting, you just can’t stop! [Just Jared]

- Fergie admits to being bisexual and having had sex with women. Wait, shouldn’t that be heterosexual. You know, because of the penis? [Celebslam]

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