Jonathan Rhys Meyers & Donatella Versace?

- Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Donatella Versace? How the fuck does that even hap- Oh, right, he has a drinking problem. In that case, now would be a good time not to sober up. [Lainey Gossip]

- Octomom’s upcoming surgery will actually make her more fertile instead of the opposite. Hopefully her surgeons are practicing their sincere “No, really, my hand slipped” faces. [Radar Online]

- Kevin Federline is flat broke despite receiving $20,000/month from Britney Spears. Really? Because K-Fed always had the look of a seasoned investor to me. Or am I thinking of Snuffleupagus again? [Celebslam]

- Beyonce fires somebody in the middle of a song while performing in the Netherlands. I’d say that’s gotta be humiliating, but who the fuck knows where the Netherlands are? Oklahoma, maybe? [Just Jared]

- Britney Spears and her agent/rumored boyfriend go on mysterious car ride together. Or at least it was mysterious until they pulled into Wendy’s and employees hosed Britney down with Frosty’s. Then it all made sense. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Tori Spelling’s husband buys her a new ring every year they’re married. It reminds her of the first time he proposed to her – in a seedy hotel so his wife couldn’t find them. Aww… [I’m Not Obsessed]

Photos: WENN