New Kids on the Block apparently still have fans

April 4th, 2008 // 56 Comments

The New Kids on the Block appeared on The Today Show this morning to a horde of screaming fans. Half of which weren’t even born when they used to be popular. But, it’s official, NKOTB is back, baby! What surprises me the most is seeing Donnie Wahlberg transition from group bad boy to suave spokesperson. I figured by now he’d be doing time in federal prison for boosting cars and jacking punks. I mean, the guy wore an oversized leather jacket and a bandana. That’s the epitome of badass! He probably still has a Yosemite Sam tattoo. Dammit, Donnie, why’d you have to hang so tough?

Video: MSNBC

  1. brian

    im first AGAIN!!!

  2. I blame these guys for the N Syncs and Backstreet Boys of the world. And for the ice caps melting.

  3. wtf

    new who on the what?

    since when did boy bands get cool again?

  4. The Rev

    hahahaha…this is the payback story, crackers, for all your racist comments on previous stories. The sad thing is, these guys are very typical white folks – weak and soft, so they have to pretend to be badass; with money and attention that they in now way deserve to have. Yep, absolutely typical white folks.

  5. Randal


    This is great news for the music industry by far! With the recent problems surrounding the pop princess Britney Spears and Christina taking care of her own children, there’s a large gap to fill and who is it that’s taking that Right Step? It’s NKOTB!

    Back in the day, this boy band dominated the radio waves. Many a young girl sang in front of the mirror, swaying their hips gently from side to side, dreaming of the day that they would see them live in concert.

    Well, dream no more! For those young girls will be rabid again with desire to sing and see the fans of their youth, NKOTB will also wrap up a number of new fans and race back up the charts once again.

    A group that has the Right Stuff? No, a group that’s always had it.


  6. Liz

    Look, I don’t have a problem with some of the pop acts of my youth coming back up for some post-popularity cash, but I definitely don’t recommend checking out their website if you want any peace of mind. Apparently, they’re taking themselves a leeeetle too seriously and don’t seem to grasp that they’re totally a novelty act which is leading to them making the aforementioned new album. Eehhhh… Additionally, Joe (my personal favorite. I had the doll!!! Sorry…) has started a blog through the site and pretty much saturates the whole thing with these painful cliches about working together to “win” and “go all the way” (whatever the hell that means.) He even says (and I regrettably quote) “Long Live the Block!” at one point, making me kinda want to stab myself in the eye. Or pour a coffee mug full of gin, sit in my bathtub and sob. Either way, I think my childhood is about to be destroyed a little…

  7. Grunion

    #7They let you use the internet in prison? Cool.

  8. whatever

    I find it funny that they look so awkward and uncomfortable despite all their world tours and public appearances in the past. Probably because they realize that a boyband of 40-somethings is actually lamer than a boyband of teenagers/early 20-somethings. Or how old and fat their original fans have gotten and how terribly young and illegal their target fanbase is today.

  9. Jim


  10. RandalAsJesus

    #8 another fine addition to your already glowing body of work. You my friend are a wordsmith of the rarest kind. Your insights into the entertianment world are both fascinating and frightening at the same time (no small feat). But this time, you Shakespear of the blogosphere, this time you have topped them all. I will just let your closing line speak for itself in all it’s psuedo-glory:

    “A group that has the Right Stuff? No, a group that’s always had it.”

    Randal you trully are one magnificent bastard.

  11. havoc



  12. Captain-Insano

    Jesus Fucking Christ. Will someone just blow up the fucking world and put an end to this madness already? Humanity is in a sad state.

  13. Rose


  14. Auntie Kryst

    This is just going to open the door for more lame 80s bands to comeback. Rockwell, you still out there buddy?? Somebody is still watching you, right Randal?

  15. Crystal

    I think they look pretty damn hot. But that’s just me.

  16. Shep

    nobody else sees anything creepy about a band coming back called new kids on the block made up of members pushing 40? Starts getting a little weird when all your fans are still 12-16 year old girls and you guys are almost 40 years old……

  17. Lester

    Donnie was actually the first member of NKOTB and had a heavy hand in the image/music/etc. Thanks, Wikipedia!

  18. The Sargasm

    Am I the only one that feels like I was pwned by virtue of clicking the flash player? Listening to those NBC drones act like Zeppelin was reuniting on their stage was a bit much. It’s NKOTB for fucks sake. I’ll save my “O” face for when Color Me Bad announce their return on CNN, or when Air Supply takes out a full page New York Times add announcing their return to Madison Square Garden.

  19. Groucho

    Maybe if w’ere lucky, Marky Mark will open for them on tour!

  20. Grunion

    Wahlberg needs to reuinite with some Rogaine

  21. Ript1&0

    Some of my first masturbatory fantasies were Joey McEntire, but that was before I knew how to masturbate. Thank god I never got off to that fucker.

    I did see them in concert in an arena when I was ten though. With my parents. Donnie Walberg wore a shirt that said “Drugs Suck” in giant capital white letters.


    Drugs could not impair the formation and vision of NKOTB. Please Don’t Go Girl? No one was on drugs when that was written. No one. Even though Joey couldn’t hit the high note to save his life, at least no one was high.

  22. I personally would love to see a Timex Social Club or Xanadu reunion.

  23. The Rev

    #10 – yes, they do. I still can’t believe I got caught pimping out your sister. Not much to look at, but she was so eager. I couldn’t resist trying to make a few bucks off her broken sloppy ass. You know the bruthas – they can’t resist filling up a useless cracker slut, even when she’s got that boiled-chicken look when she gets naked.

  24. Janice

    lmao@”boiled-chicken look”!!!

  25. Anal Fistula

    applauds #5

  26. gotmilk?

    i remember 4 of them, but who the hell is that dude in the back?

    Danny is still the ugliest motherfucker i’ve ever seen.

  27. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    Randal, YOU, my man, should be doing the commercials for ‘Mighty Putty’ and ‘ShamWow’. a veritable gold mine, you could sell oil to the king of Saudi Arabia.

  28. Mike

    Actually Donnie is a really good actor. He was in Saw and did a great job in Band of Brothers as one of the leads. He was also in Sixth Sense and Steohen King’s Dreamcatcher and lots of other stuff. I hated their music, but like him and his brother as actors.

  29. noogs SUCK. yeah, that's what i call you - noogs.

    hey rev – you are the reason that whites hate balcks. congratulations.

  30. The Rev

    #33 – no, you hate us because the cracker girls LOVE our much bigger cocks. I don’t expect you to acknowledge that, but instead make some type of racist comment. Thereby proving my point.

  31. Mo

    Don’t care how old or bald they are… will STILL go to see them. *shrugs* Them’s my teen years, right there.

    Oh, boys. You so funneh.

  32. toe

    Wow, who would have thought Danny would evolve to be the most handsome of the bunch. What the hell happened to Jordan’s face. Maybe it has something to do with karma. I met the band in ’91 and Danny was the nicest and most gracious of the group.

  33. yuck to noog cock

    i could care less what other girls want. the fact that these ghetto wanna be girls like you black men means nothing to me. it just lets me know how much better i am than them. it’s true that when a girl goes black she’ll never go back. because white men don’t want her skank ass anymore. what what, yo?

  34. The Rev

    No, the cracker girls don’t go back because they’re too stretched out to feel anything from a lil’ crackercock.

  35. Rachel

    Am I the only one who noticed that they look a little confused at times? It’s like somebody took NKOTB and put them behind a red curtain, and then told them the were reuniting right before the curtain dropped.
    I, for one, can not wait for more hilarity to ensue.

  36. Grunion

    Hey Rev # 38

    whats the difference between a picnic table and a black man?

    A picnic table can support a family.

  37. I’m so excited!!! I made a video with their pictures:

  38. Vizzy

    I am SO thrilled by this news! I would have been there screaming if I could have.

    Love the NKOTB almost as much as I love your acerbic wit!

  39. FCS

    “I’m so excited!!! I made a video with their pictures”

    Quite possibly the gayest post ever posted. congrats.

  40. Tragedy Ann

    Now, boys… no more penis talk. Can’t we all just agree that, whether black or white, unless it shoots laser bolts like the Superficial writer’s does then it’s just not worth arguing about?

    And yes, we can all weep and gnash our teeth at the thought of our awkward pre-and-peri-adolescent fantasies dying a horrible death two decades later, but it doesn’t change the fact that every girl who grew up with a NKOTB pillow case is going to at least check the new album out :-)

  41. Laura

    Well, now that they’re back I hope I can finally get something for all the New Kids dolls that are still packed away somewhere in my parent’s basement.. I have all of the concert dolls, all of the street clothes dolls, the stage, and a giant wall-clock. I lost interest in them right after I bought all this stuff with my hard earned allowance, so it’s all still in the original boxes. When I was 11 I liked Joey, but now I think Jonathan is the best looking.

  42. missywissy

    I thought jon had such horrible stage fright he had to go on Oprah for his problem??? Okay, I watched the Today show, Donnie is gonna fuck it up for all of them. He looks like a control freak and like this is his parade. Jordan is cute, but BOOOOORING and he looks like a total ass! Joey is a total cutie and I agree that Danny actually became the hottest. They are so not gonna last because you can already see the power overload with Donnie. He’s just way to Hollywood for the rest of those guys. I hope it works out though. I hated NKOTB growing up, but I’ve lightened up and can understand the hype.

  43. eye-dish lass

    DANNY WOODS is smokin HOT!!!!!!!!! The most manly and looks embarrassed to be there.

  44. Michelle

    what happened to this site?! it used to be kinda *cool*, but now the only people who comment anymore are trailer-trash racists. i guess comcast finally made internet wires long enough to stretch across the dirt roads to all those double-wides….

  45. cool

    I’m so excited!!! Many freids I met on a millionarie dating site called meetingwealthy.c o m think so too. They are successful men and women. We usually talk together.

  46. Nikki

    It’s a little late to be reuniting. Dude they are way to old to be the “New Kids”. I just don’t know what to say. I know that pretty much everyone of them except Danny/ Jon are assholes. I met Joey in Vegas and he is the biggest dick of all. He was just after pussy and nothing else. Very rude and over-sexed. I know that his eyebrows are way to thick, like the wolfman slowly changing. Yuck!!!! Someone thinks he is all that! Keep dreaming sweetheart. You are nothing special, same with your penis.
    Danny was very nice and polite. He was brought up right.
    I never met Jon so I can’t say if he is a dick. Maybe he is nice… I think he is a the gay one though. Donnie is going bald and seeing little kids at the concert would be creepy. Jordan is just a skinny wuss who they love to photoshop muscles on. He looks old and wierd and to think he was my favorite. What in the hell was my 13 year mind thinking? I would never waste my money on a ticket to see them. They soured me into ever liking them just a little bit ever again.

  47. natalie

    NKOTB are the best band ever. im so pleased they are back and hope they come to the uk for a concert. ive waited for this day since 1994 and never thought it would happen. And so what if they are nearly 40. we are not teenasgers anymore either. They look so much better than Take That

    New Kids Ruleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  48. lils

    i used to rag on my classmates so much for their liking of NKOTB– that they decided that i was perfect for danny wood “the ugly one”

    and now…

    jokes finally on you suckers!

    (coz he looked disturbingly hot)

    god, i need to get laid…

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