New ‘Stranger Things 2′ Trailer Has Me Cancelling My Halloween Plans

I reluctantly love Halloween. I also reluctantly love to party my dick off every Halloween. The reason for my reluctance comes from the fact that I don’t usually have a costume until the day hours before it’s time to start drinking like a pirate in front of children. I do this because, despite my titty-blogging facade, I’m actually an adult who doesn’t have time to give a shit about impressing anyone at a costume party.

“Oh, you’re dressed as RickBob Ross? Like a cross between Rick Ross and Bob Ross, huh? Great stuff, where’s your bathroom? I dressed as a guy who puts cat litter in toilets…”

I love it when it happens, of course. There’s nothing like drinking with a bunch of people who don’t know how to drink and settling the long-standing debate of whether or not a cop can be sluttier than a rabbit. The point I’m trying to make is that if Halloween parting happens, that’s great. If it doesn’t, that’s just as great…

What did we come here for? Oh yea, Stranger Things 2 just released its final trailer and will be out on Oct. 27… hook it up to an IV, slam it through your aorta, and explode your fucking heart.

This is my jaaaammm!