Neverland is shut down

*michael_jackson_neverland.jpgMichael Jackson was ordered to shut down his Neverland Valley Ranch on Thursday by California authorities. The ranch was closed by an agent of the State Labor Commissioner after the office discovered that his worker’s compensation policy had lapsed in January. Local animal welfare officials have been asked to care for the inhabitants of Neverland’s zoo. The order prohibits Jackson from employing anyone at the 2,800-acre ranch until the insurance issues are resolved.

More bad news for Michael. No Neverland, no sex children. And thus the garden of hairless delights is gone. But maybe he’ll recover. Maybe he’ll start a new place. More honestly named. Like MolesterLand. As in “what happens in MolesterLand, better damn well stay in MolesterLand.”