Madison Beer Is an Underwear Gymnast, That’s Neat
Love Magazine’s video advent calendar series thing claims to be a showcase of feminine strength, individuality, beauty, all that good stuff. The last one I saw was Emily Ratajkowski rubbing spaghetti all over her ass, and it made me kind of hungry. Although it worked in the ’90s, it’s not really en vogue to say “hot chicks, big jugs” when making stuff like this advent calendar series. Now it’s all about sexualizing these women in a way that depicts them as strong and powerful… Enter Madison Beer making porno faces while doing pull-ups in her lingerie. Why is she wearing a watch? Cos it’s time to kick the patriarchy in the balls.
Why is she throwing down an O-face while doing one-handed pull ups? What’s up with the softcore porn soundtrack? Whose fucking idea was it to replace a stripper pole with a pull up bar?
“Alright, boys on the 10th we have a shoot with Madison Beer — any ideas?”
“Why don’t we put her in lingerie and have her spin around a pole?”
“No no no, strippers are out. Strength is in.”
“I do crossfit…”
“Tom, you’re a GENIUS!”