Neat! Jaden Smith Brought His Hair!

I used to have a cat who thought it was cool to bring me dead birds. Jaden Smith bringing a bundle of his dreads to the Met Gala initially gave me the same reaction. Then I started thinking… “Why? What is the purpose of this gesture? What does it all mean, Jaden!!!”

Jaden has read Aesop’s fables…

This a metaphor for the one where a father was sick and tired of his three bratty, snot-nosed little shits he called children. He was chilling in his bed watching SPIKE TV and they just wouldn’t stop being little assholes. So he yelled at them to bring him a bundle of sticks and more Old Granddad whiskey. When they brought it back to him, he was like, “alright assholes- try and snap this bundle of sticks and I’ll get you some ice cream.” Obviously they couldn’t. It was like trying to rip a phone book in half. Then he told them to try and break them individually. The kids found it way easier. The father then drank himself to death because Aesop was hardcore.

Jaden Smith’s dreadlocks are the bundle of sticks that represent strength in unity. Pepper on the fact that dreads are in vogue with African heritage again and not just dudes selling nitrous outside an Umphrey’s McGee concert, and you have a perfectly logical (and kind of powerful) explanation for why Jaden is carrying his hair around like a dead bird he killed in the yard.

Just another example of how people love to call an artist an asshole for doing something they used their brain for… unless… I’m the only one who thinks this and Jaden is actually just a nut…

*holy shit, I just called Jaden Smith an artist… I’ll drive myself to the ER.*