Natalie Portman showed up to the lower Manhattan Cultural Center’s annual “Downtown Dinner” looking lovely as hell, but with two Band-Aids on her arm and dressed in a trash bag. And I have no idea how her breasts are staying in there. It looks like her dress would fall off if somebody walked too close and sneezed. And by sneezed I mean pretended to sneeze, but then grabbed her dress with both hands and yanked. Ahh, subtlety.
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Danner | May 4, 2007 at 12:13 pm
She’s still a good looking lady!
whoneedsenemies | May 4, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Nice garbage sack….
BarbadoSlim | May 4, 2007 at 12:16 pm
“And I have no idea how her breasts are staying in there”
Simple, young human males don’t have breasts.
gas_up_the_hrududu | May 4, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Hefty, Hefty, Hefty!
Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!
Hefty!
Wimpy!
whoneedsenemies | May 4, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Bjork was wearing a better dress at this function…..ouch!
p0nk | May 4, 2007 at 12:19 pm
ho-hum, another 12yo boy wearing a potato sack. c’mon fish give us the scoop on paris hilton’s court deciscion… is she really going to do 45 days in the county pen?
because this crap you’ve been posting is funny, and by funny, i mean not funny at all.
Donkey | May 4, 2007 at 12:20 pm
That’s almost worth looking at… except it’s not.
p0nk | May 4, 2007 at 12:21 pm
oh and now that i’ve mentioned “12 yo boys”, wally, you can commence trolling me now. it’s your cue, don’t disappoint me now.
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Well, she looks purty. Bitch even looks cute in a trash bag.
Skip Smith | May 4, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I think she’s wearing a Bladder Buddy:
http://www.makezine.com/blog/archive/2006/03/american_inventor_live_blog_fu.html
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Who is this infamous “wally” that I hear so much about?
Fifth Stooge | May 4, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Absolutely flawless.
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Her face is really pretty. And she is smart. Her movies are great. But what is wrong with her body? Why is there bones where it should be curves and why is there muscles where it should be breasts?
And why, oh why is there a 12 years old boy where it should be a 25 years old woman?
Donkey | May 4, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Is she supposed to be the modern version of the Statue of Liberty?
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:26 pm
So many question. Natalie makes us think.
Jimbo ? | May 4, 2007 at 12:30 pm
The Superfish has no idea how her breast are staying in there??? What breast? Her belly button sticks out more than her breasts. I think the superfish has been sniffing some glue or something.
Oh yeah, nice trash bag. Is that the new line from Hefty?
lambman | May 4, 2007 at 12:32 pm
HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
The woman is perfect
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Look at her in The professional (leon) in 1994 and tell me which difference you see. Probably the makeup.
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:36 pm
She’s loverly. Big boobs are gross anyway … right? Hello?
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:39 pm
There is a huuuge difference between big boobs and NO boobs. Perhaps just having boobs would be better than this…
Superfish | May 4, 2007 at 12:40 pm
I’d rip it off…probably not pretend to sneeze, instead just walk up to her, say “LOOK!” and when she turns her head just grab it, yank it, snap a polaroid and run like hell.
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Big boobs could be gross. On boys.
CHA | May 4, 2007 at 12:42 pm
what is it with these trash bags lately? who finds them attractive? and you are all right (#18, 16, 13, 3)–her breasts aren’t falling out of the trash bag because theyre the size of mosquito bites and don’t ‘fall’ anywhere.
but natalie–i think you’re a fabulous actress. despite the trash bag.
Jimbo ? | May 4, 2007 at 12:44 pm
@20 I agree. They don’t have to be Pam Anderson size but something a little bigger than a 12 year old boy has would be nice. I am sure she can afford to buy a pair.
@19 NO!!!
Superfish | May 4, 2007 at 12:45 pm
#23 i thought they weren’t falling out because the bag was just so durable and strong. my mistake
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Poor Natalie. Some chicas aren’t as blessed in the boobie area. Not me, though, I’m blessed. Not too blessed, mind you. True dat.
amaritimer | May 4, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Holy fuck I had a good chuckle at #6! :D
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:47 pm
I was kidding #24. Although, there may be some truth to my statement.
Pikachelsea | May 4, 2007 at 12:48 pm
That’s one ugly trash bag, and it looks like she went light on the make-up. She looks pretty plain. Although I guess there are few people who can pull off the “derelicte” look.
Anyway, I’m sick of Natalie Portman and her huge mouth.
N@ughty | May 4, 2007 at 12:49 pm
well, boobs or no boobs, we still can tell if she’s a girl. I’m still questioning Paris and Mary-Kate’s actual species.
#26, i second that. LOL
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Her eyebrows are a little wacky, eh?
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Maybe she could just grow some boobs. Eating is a good way. She would grow an ass at the same time…
BarbadoSlim | May 4, 2007 at 12:50 pm
@23, her merits as an actress are beyond reproach (except for that star wars tragedy, boy do you suck Lucas).
All that aside, she had the Lolita thing going on in The Professional, but now, it’s as if she stalled somewhere in her physical development. Maybe she should get some D-cups in there. Yeah, every thing’s better with giant cartoon tits.
Jimbo ? | May 4, 2007 at 12:51 pm
@28 – Yes they can be to big. But that does not happen to often. Does you myspace page show how blessed you are?
CHA | May 4, 2007 at 12:52 pm
#25 yeah, sure, you’d be right if that was a high-quality Hefty, with it’s shiny exterior and increased static cling for..you know…superior ‘containing’ of trash…or something…but she’s clearly wearing a generic trash bag. CVS brand, maybe.
bungoone | May 4, 2007 at 12:52 pm
13, if you’re going to rant like that, at least make it readable & use proper english. thanks!
N@ughty | May 4, 2007 at 12:53 pm
#31 a LITTLE wacky? she looks confused
15PiecesOfFlare | May 4, 2007 at 12:55 pm
It’s hard to find decent fitting dresses when you’re short. At least she got the proportion right, even if one wants to quibble about the fabric. Usually she wears too-long things made for glamazons, which ends up looking like the dress is eating her alive.
mia | May 4, 2007 at 12:55 pm
36
Sorry, i’m not an english speaker and i’m not bilingual.
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:55 pm
@34 Not so much. My has-been probably wouldn’t approve. Maybe I’ll put some up *just* for you.
Superfish | May 4, 2007 at 12:56 pm
#35 dude, plastic wrap could hold those things in place. yea, ur right. she’s flat
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:57 pm
3 minutes and I’m done for the weekend. Wee-woo!
murmurzz | May 4, 2007 at 12:59 pm
If I were her, I would totally pluck those scraggly eyebrow hairs on the inner side of her brows. Did that sentence make sense?
FRIST!!! | May 4, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Typekey sucks ass
N@ughty | May 4, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Plastic wrap Superfish? i was thinking more like i dunno…a candy wrapper.
There’s been alot of bag-wearing come to think of it. those things are fucked! what happened to plain spaghetti straps and REGULAR heels? can we PLEASE throw the bags in the trash?
N@ughty | May 4, 2007 at 1:03 pm
#43 um…i’ll get back to you on that…but why not just shave them off and buy her new ones?
mia | May 4, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Its the fucking 80s fashion comeback.
Dan | May 4, 2007 at 1:06 pm
holy shit, i’m seriously masturbating with one hand as i’m typing this with the other one.
mia | May 4, 2007 at 1:07 pm
She should shave them off. Then they will regrow stronger and her eyebrows will look like porcupines. Porcupines are cute…
mia | May 4, 2007 at 1:08 pm
48
Then your real name must be danielle, and your a girl. Cause this woman is a man.