Natalie Portman out-hots Scarlett Johansson

February 20th, 2008 // 131 Comments

Despite my unbridled fury about her meatless footwear, Natalie Portman showed Scarlett Johansson how to look classy as hell at the London premiere of their new film The Other Boleyn Girl. I assume it’s about those little cubes you use to make soup. All my culinary geeks in the house say “Ho!” Wow, I’m retarded. Anyway, here’s a bunch of pics of Natalie looking exceptionally sexy. I only added a few of Scarlett because she looks my date to junior prom – but without the moustache.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. deacon jones

    Slap some peanut butter on my penis and My dog is good to blow.

  2. Vince Lombardi

    Natalie Portman is channeling Audrey Hepburn.

    Did I mention that in 1959 during a Rams game back at the LA Coliseum (when they were a real team) I had Audrey meet me in on the team bus during the second quarter. What a spinner! Showed her “real Italian beef,” I did. We won that game, 37-10. The Rams scored all ten points in the second quarter, if I recall. When I got to heaven, God asked me about that little incident. I told Him I couldn’t coach the defense while I was balls deep in Audrey Hepburn, for His sake! So I showed Him a nude Polaroid of Audrey with my salami in her mouth, apologized for the 10 points, and He forgave me.

  3. D. Richards (Ambulance chaser.)

    #47. Great picture; your body is fantastic. Cute bikini, nice heels. The face — the face is, sadly, erection de-producing. I’m not sure if you’ve heard but, mustachios, on women, not so ‘hot.’

    As-a matter of fact, never leave home without masking your face.

    Diet Pepsi. Yay.

  4. jjj

    Good god Scarlett is short! I knew Natalie was like 4’9″, but I had no idea Scarlett was that tiny as well. She just went down several notches on the scale.

  5. sg

    Natalie Portman is about as sexy as a 10 year-old boy. she will NEHHHHHVVVVER be sexier than Scarlett

  6. nipolian

    Sorry Vince #52….I have to call bullshit to your story. During the 1959 season (your first as the coach of GB) you played the Rams in LA on December 6th and won 38 – 20….not 37 – 10.

  7. deacon jones


    Alright, good one, I admit it

  8. sunshine

    C’mon, is there nothing else to report on, really? 2 talented and classy actresses.
    Tasteful makeup, simple hair and rather modest gowns. Not wearing heaps of jewels, just their beautiful skin. Have no idea why this would even be on this site, slow day in Scumville?

  9. Auntie Kryst

    @52 Coach, anyway to see that Polaroid? The photos Nitschke secretly took are really grainy. In case the angels didn’t tell you when Ray snuck away, that’s when the Rams put those points up. Now that you know that, make him do an infinity of burpees. Of course those photos were in pretty bad taste. I’m not sure if he’s even “up there” with you.

  10. Margot

    That wasn’t me, obviously.

  11. nipolian

    Yeah right….whatever you say Margot.

  12. Vince Lombardi

    #56 nipolian – Y’know, kid, I’ve been dead for over 37 years. I think I deserve a break now and then on the ol’ Italian memory. Too many tackles without a helmet, if ya know what I mean….

    #59 Auntie – That crusty ol’ bastard actually LIKES burpees. He likes ‘em so much, he stops catching himself on the down stroke, which is how he lost all them teeth. And yeah, God has all the Packers from the “good years” here in a special stadium He built. It’s starting to fill up this year. As for the Polaroid, Don Hutson’s borrowing it right now. How do you think he keeps his hands so sticky?

  13. scarlette has an ugly bloated face and a potato nose

    55- you sound fat.
    thin pretty girls are always boys aren’t they?

  14. D. Richard's in Love (cupid was murdered)

    Damn “D”, looks from the nice pic @ #24 that you and Moargot @ #47 have quite the little family going. Damn our boy finally got laid. I could tell by your tone today. You seem calm and sweet. More power to you Bro. Noone here is laughing at your girl (abs aching, covered in urine, too convulsive to retain bowels, hebephrenic, in the throes of mockery) and it looks like a good fit!
    God Bless You (rolls joint with page from Leviticus) !!

  15. kitty_kat

    Scarlett was always average-looking at best anyway. I never quite understood the fuss… Wait, I’m lying… It was the boobs.

  16. Matthew

    So they hold formal dress balls for fuckin Christ killers? That’s just fuckin great. Too bad Hitler wasn’t a finisher.

  17. never understood, period.

    65- they aren’t that big. most girls over 135 lbs have them. I saw a homeless woman today who had some that were bigger. I don’t think it has helped her career.

  18. michael

    Wow, Natalie Portman looks incredible.

  19. fat pig faced rednecks like us

    66- – that would be funny, but pretty much everyone at a formal dress ball in LA or new york, paris, milan etc is a “christ killer”.

    don’t be jealous, im sure the town social in podunksville was just as classy and fun.

  20. Matthew

    #69 – it was! We especially liked the absence of dark hair on the arms and upper lips of the women.

  21. ellybell

    i agree #35 that they are overrated in the intelligence department. i don’t think they should be so worshipped because they can string a decent sentence together. and they are not amazing actors. adequate but not brilliant. natalie is beautiful but does anyone notice the white make up and the line where it ends on her neckline and the sides of her face? and scarlett is sweet looking but sometimes i think her face looks like one of the Whos from Whoville in The Grinch

  22. sg

    63- no, as a matter of fact I’m not fat… 5’3″ 98 lbs

  23. ellybell

    oh and this is how much hotter i am than natalie or scarlett. you can’t fail to agree

  24. Kris

    Natalie Portman looks a lot like Keira Knightley.

  25. burt duncan

    Matthew – read your comments with 69. famous rich women aren’t usually too hairy. i am confused. let me see barbara streissand is the most jewish woman i can think of… while not being attractive, she isn’t hairy.

    you must be too poor to : afford healthcare and go to the doctor, have an attorney or an accountant, and too stupid to get into college to know any actual jews.

  26. Cowhansson sucks

    “Natalie Portman out-hots Scarlett Johansson”

    Definitely man! By FAR! Natalie Portman is a very pretty girl (soooo much prettier than Johansson), Scarlett Cowhansson is nothing but an ugly overrated cow. Natalie Portman is one gorgeous and VERY UNDERRATED girl, Johansson is nothing but an ugly-average cow and incredibly OVERRATED.

  27. The Laughing God

    Nat only looks hot cause she wasn’t really there. Scarlett, came in with one of those green body stand-ins and Nat was photoshopped in later.

  28. Matthew

    “you must be too poor to : afford healthcare and go to the doctor, have an attorney or an accountant, and too stupid to get into college to know any actual jews.”

    Ah yes, the elevated professions of the “chosen people.” But no, I know actual jews – right around the corner there’s this jewelry shop that the nigs rob about twice a month. Nicest people you’d ever want to meet (the nigs).

  29. 23apples

    Natalie’s teeth are disgusting. Other than that she is very very pretty.
    Scarlett Johansson has never been pretty. In these pictures, she looks like some sort of goblin that Natalie pulled out from under a bridge and is introducing to society for the first time EVER

  30. alex oz

    two jews hotties
    oh yeah something better…. naaa they could lick my balls for a movie
    looks like street hookers seriously hhehehe i mean look at those bitches

  31. alex oz

    look at that disgusting bloody eye of natalie ewwwwwwww that just ewwwwww
    wtf ! skanky jews no goood ;)

  32. Jenna

    Scarlett has always looked frumpy, why did nobody notice this till now?
    Natalie is skinny but still beautiful

  33. alex oz

    but i prefer the pale one scarlett , must be my german gene , ops pardon !!!

  34. Buffy

    Scarlett should have it stated in her contract that she must not be photographed next to anyone who is as classy, beautiful, intelligent and stylish as Natalie Portman. Scarlett usually looks sexy (NEVER beautiful or classy) but Natalie makes her look like one of those trolls in Where the Wild Things Are…

  35. Captain Redneck

    Why is it all about goddamn jews? You read the shit on Msn’s movie and star reviews and they speak with pepperings of Yiddish. WTF? Isn’t that rude? So if I write something and my heritage is say (nice white language) Swedish would it be conisdered rude to use Swedish words in English sentences? Yes? Yeah they taught us that when we were children. Show some white girls.

    I also like the preponderence of jews in the industry. Fuck the whole entertainment industry. Read books and develop hobbies. These cocksucking fags and whores get by with murder when we would be thrown in prison for the same behavior, but hey, if you can feed a nice – - – ish attorney some nice tasty $ $ $ $ $ $ he will talk real fancy to a judge and make it alllll better for you.

    Please emigrate.

  36. The Laughing God

    Alright I have looked at them twice. Scarlett just has more, more mass, more height, Natalie is a little woman, she has less of everything. No major skin or structural anomalies, no lack of hygiene, dresses that fit, happy to be in the public eye, aside from having hair parts on opposite sides of their heads [and the above mentioned], these women are practically the same

  37. Malffy Hernandes

    lol, ‘The other Bullion Cube.’ catchy.

  38. uuu

    Natalie Portman is naturally beautiful, she has such beautiful facial features.
    Scarlet Johanson is ugly, she has a twisted face, nose is too big and is far too pale. she is totally over-rated. but because she is blonde and has big tits, people say she’s “hot”.

  39. morons

    it’s the posture, the hair, and the contract between Nat’s dress and skin tone. Nat knows how to work it. ScarJo needs to stop wearing pale colors, fire her hair stylist (her hair never looks amazing) and stand up straight.

  40. morons

    contrast not contract

  41. malicious

    #79 what are u like? Her choppers are fine. Natalie is pure class

  42. Tim

    Come on just looks at both their faces…..Scarlett has a man face, her face is very hard and damn right ugly. But Natalie has such a cute little face.

  43. helena

    How old are these two females? because Scarlett looks old enough to be Natalie’s mom. I am guessing Natalie is about 18-22 and Scarlett is
    about 38-42, so it’s hardly fair on Scarlett putting her next to a woman
    20 years her junior and asking “who is hotter”…

  44. satan

    “the other boleyn girl” is probably the stupidest movie title i’ve heard in awhile. really, couldn’t they have done better?

  45. Wow Natalie Portman looks really lovely here.

  46. Jenna

    Uh look at Natalie’s eyes… she is so stoned

  47. I'm Yer Daddy

    Fuckin’ eh #39 and anyone who thinks Natalie Portman looks hotter, beautiful faces are priceless. Tits shmits the big ones often look like saggy shit anyway. Small and perky, size over shape I say. Plus if your dating a beauty it’s impressive and you feel good and proud walking around with an angel but, if you date the chick who has boobs and nothing else all you get is a fugly face to wake up to and other dudes constantly staring at her rack. Who needs that shit. Actually I’ve found most angel faced chicks are kinda flat but, it adds to their innocence. Also, go ahead and loose it over this one but, I believe there is a direct correlation between big tits and big noses (and I do NOT tolerate big noses).

    “seahorse face” that’s priceless. This chickadoo will be Jennifer Love Hewitt size in NO time. They are practically the same person anyway.

  48. stephanie

    If you notice, Natalie never really wears much makeup– bc she doesn’t need it! But for this event, she definitely wore a lot and I’m not just talking about the mascara. I think her eyes are amazing in these pictures…. but as for close-ups, Scarlett’s face/skin looks the best and more natural….
    Natalie does look really amazing, though… she has great posture… I do not.

  49. wonky

    #98. Actually look again you can see blemishes under scarletts makeup, Natalie’s skin looks WAY more natural and way softer clearer and smoother and less oily.

  50. shpanties

    You mean The Other Boyle. One of them is on Natalie’s ass(which is why she never shows it) and The Other Boyle is named Scarlett and is standing right next to her.

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