Natalie Portman on Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium set

May 10th, 2006 // 77 Comments

It’s probably not a good sign that even when Natalie Portman looks like a 12-year-old boy I’m still oddly aroused by her. At least if the acting thing doesn’t work out for her she can always fall back on a career as Haley Joel Osment’s stunt double.


  1. TrannyGranny

    21 Sodomize_the_girls

    Good Point! I slept with this 4’11″ skinny little Mexican chick onetime, got rid of a lot of twisted fantasies. Not to be to graphic, but I could pick her up with one hand and she wore a cheerleader outfit. Portman makes me feel the same way. Mwaaahaahaaha. Only I’d make her dress like a Palestinian suicide bomber, because THAT friends, is wrong on many, many levels. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to go sexually assault my tv while Episode II runs.

  2. 86

    #29 Yeah, I was totally kidding.

  3. Spacedog

    She’s slightly hotter here than when she shaved her head and was even skinnier.
    Kinda reminded me of someone helped by the Make a Wish Foundation.

  4. Errrika


    Oh THANK GOD!!! =)

  5. Color me stoked

    Even I would feel like a pedophile boning that. And I’m a seventeen year old girl

    Although, make a wish foundation kids need love too 53

  6. 86

    Her Rainbow Brite shirt really doesn’t help matters. She should get naked or something.

  7. Ringo5150

    That’s the advantage of boning Portman puss puss…..feel like a peodophile but technically still be legal.

    You could probably take her to Macca’s on a date give her a Mc Nugget and she’d say she was full and couldn’t eat another thing.

    I remember the white lycra outfit from S/W. She was strutting around holding a blaster looking for trouble….he he while watching it I was walking around holding my blaster looking for trouble too.

  8. Natalie Portman looks so cute and innocent in that picture… nothing like the Portman Gangsta Rap on SNL…

  9. bakismaki

    I dunno what it is about n portman but, I love you Natalie!

    This chick does it for me bigtime, always has, I think she’s smokin hot. She’s about my age so there was never a weird pedophile thing with her. Although for some strange reason she just keeps looking younger every year, maybe it’s the short hair… Anyway she’s hot.

  10. Iambananas


    you are another child who is obsessed with me!

    I love obsessions with me…

    I can’t believe another one is added to the group.

    Okay, here are the rules to be in the club of people obsessed with me:



    1. Hang onto every word I think and express.

    2. Wait for me to post my next comment.

    3. Try to insult to get my attention and fulfill your pathetic life.

    4. Obsess over me… a lot

    5. Study what I type extensively.

    and finally…

    6. Comment about… well… (that’s right, you guessed it)… *********ME***********!!!

    (Looks like you’ve fulfilled ALL rquirements! You re officially obsessesd with me, like many others)


    (I’ve set up an e-mail account JUST especially for you obsessors…)

  11. Jeremy1Esq

    Natalie needs to marry me ASAP!

  12. Fiona

    Uhmm, MeganHarris? Why are you trying to write poetry or something here?

  13. Fa Cube Itches

    Bananas: If you are going to babble incessantly, could you at least babble succinctly?

  14. @62 – Linkin Park lyrics, not sure if that classifies as poetry, but at least Megan can correctly steal lines from a song.

  15. Rogue

    17: “She looked hotter when she did The Professional, and she was a child.”

    That’s very true.

  16. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    Intelligent, well educated, not much of an actress, but who the fuck cares, …

    She is SMOKIN’ hot, with a tight, hard, silicone-free body that absolutely screams “spin me!”

  17. Errrika

    You’re right Bananas, I AM obsessed with you. I work for the ARC, and we’re looking to recruit someone to put the dodgeballs away after the rest of the retards are done pummeling each other half to death. It doesn’t pay much, just “You’re a good boy”, and “You’re important” comments along with pats on the back. I think you’d be perfect.

  18. Dammit! I want some!

  19. 86

    Anyone who thinks Natalie Portman is hot based solely on her looks must have a severe Amidala obsession.

  20. Ok, #69, that was a bad lie. She looks really good on those pictures. I mean especially the big one, and the ones to the left.

    I know. Believe me, I have a penis.

  21. Fiona

    #62: Ah, ok, I’m not really a big fan of Linkin Park, so I had no idea. But it looks like she’s following Lame Bananas’s dumb example of posting song lyrics.

  22. Fiona

    #62: Ah, ok, I’m not really a big fan of Linkin Park, so I had no idea. But it looks like she’s following Lame Bananas’s dumb example of posting song lyrics.

  23. Fiona

    #62: Ah, ok, I’m not really a big fan of Linkin Park, so I had no idea. But it looks like she’s following Lame Bananas’s dumb example of posting song lyrics.

  24. Fiona

    Shit, so sorry for the triple post. My computer was acting up.

  25. Ringo5150

    Please send me porn….i’m desperate and trapped at work surrounded by spreadhseets and work related emails.

    Send porn to

  26. prettierthanmeganharris

    not prettier than Natalie Portman

  27. i love her jeans.. someone tell me what brand they are. you know that you know!

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