Natalie Portman on Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium set

May 10th, 2006 // 77 Comments

It’s probably not a good sign that even when Natalie Portman looks like a 12-year-old boy I’m still oddly aroused by her. At least if the acting thing doesn’t work out for her she can always fall back on a career as Haley Joel Osment’s stunt double.


  1. Celeb_Hater


  2. Sheva

    First ya smurf loving biyatches.

  3. Vampyreska


    She could be Peter Pan with that hair and shirt! How precious!

  4. -= ChebyratoR =-

    Id hit it FIRST!!! with my big Lightsaber…the force is strong in this one

  5. -= ChebyratoR =-

    haha all you people got owned

  6. Vampyreska

    Dammit- see what happens when I actually write something other that “first”.

  7. Celeb_Hater

    Huzzah! A good day.

    This chick couldn’t be any less feminine if she tried. So is this what guys supposedly like in bed- short hair, no curves, and possibly another penis?

    Good actress- but in the looks department I think she forget to line up to get her second X chromosome.

  8. -= ChebyratoR =-

    in the 2nd picture the guy seems to be surpirsed by the strange tingling sensation

    or maybe she just told him something nasty and made him cry

  9. BarbadoSlim

    She looks like a butch version of Tom Cruise.

    For those of you who don’t know Mr. Cruise he’s the star of the International *smash* hit MI3
    and cock lover extraordinaire.

  10. PeteMcLochness

    “P” for “Penis.”

  11. gsprescueguy

    Does anyone not want to see her naked in “The Return of the Professional”?

    That would be a great movie.

  12. -= ChebyratoR =-

    its not as good as watching Hitler dance

  13. Natalie Portman just doesn’t match up to me for being able to pull off the skinny look.

  14. Dr.Rokter

    Androgynous-looking actress walks across parking lot: dozens react.

  15. sweetcheeks

    … or “P” for “Pre-pubescent Boy.”

    Or “V” for “(where’s my) Vagina?”

  16. Spacedog

    Seeing that pic bring me right back to high school. Smokin bones in the parking lot, cutting class.
    And seeing females grow tits right before your eyes.

  17. BarbadoSlim

    Except in her case her boobs are disappearing in front of our eyes. She looked hotter when she did The Professional, and she was a child.

    I know, it’s sick….but true.

  18. Keka

    I think she is daaaaaaaaaaaamn hot!

  19. Proteon

    I would hit it.

  20. suzy

    i think she looks good

  21. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    That’s the great thing about Natalie Portman., whatever you’re into: men, women, little boys, little girls, we can all agree on one thing:
    “That’s hot. I’d hit it.”

  22. mags

    I wonder where they’re filming. I’d like to go see Jason Bateman.

  23. 86

    Keira Knightley is much prettier.

  24. nichole

    Wow she’s rockin the side part. That’s bad.

  25. delicious_dysfunktion

    I bet she can fit into most overhead storage bins.Fun!

  26. hurley

    natalie portman’s my favorite. you guys seen her gangsta video from snl?

  27. Jacq

    I really can’t talk shit about her. She seemed really funny on SNL and at least she’s smart and graduated from college. That’s a lot more than anyone can say for many actresses now. She’s a little more liberal than I like, but I like her.

  28. PapaHotNuts

    I think Fred Savage is great.

  29. Errrika


    Are you fucking serious? Keira Knightley is a fucking snarled tooth smelly bag-o-bones. Anytime I see her on tv, or on here, I just have the overwhelming feeling that she has a smelly cooter. I wouldn’t fuck her with landman’s cock, or if I even HAD a cock.

  30. hurley

    what’s a landman’s cock? (i don’t want to ask anyone at work

  31. sweetcheeks

    #26 — that was the funniest fucking clip I have ever fucking seen. SMPL (Shitting My Pants Laughing).

    I declare Natalie Portman my new personal hero. Plus, she speaks like 12 languages and her eyebrows are to DIE for.

  32. xavierh

    It’s good to see Will Wheaton getting work after Star Trek….

  33. Italian Stallion

    Look there he is, I found Waldo, they really should make this harder……………

  34. BigJim

    For me she was speaking a 13th language: gobble, gobble, gobble.

  35. Fisher55

    she’s looking like a younger prettier ashley judd. natalie’s one of the few celebs i can stomach, which is odd because as a rule i generally hate all vegetarians

  36. PapaHotNuts

    We actually shared a religious moment together. She kept screaming “Oh God, don’t stop. Jesus Christ, that’s the spot!”

    For those of you who don’t get it, I was fucking her.

  37. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Yeah, don’t ask anyone at work, because then they’ll think you’re both a perv and an idiot. Land-Man is this guy with the mentality of a junior high boy who posts on here, and EVERY SINGLE of his posts has to do with how big his dick is. And he changes his mind all the time about how long it is–one day it will be 11″, then 14″, then 17″, and so on and so forth. Just wait. You’ll see.

  38. Fisher55

    A “Landman’s Cock” is one that is permanently flaccid, dead

  39. Fisher55

    #37 is lying, there’s no such person

  40. angryandparanoid

    I like the hair cut, I think she looks good. I wish I could get away with having short hair.

  41. Feed_Me_Chocolate


  42. I’d hit it, but probably wouldn’t even count it. Unless it was some freaky scat fucking. Then I’d sell the DVD to mamacita.

  43. BarbadoSlim

    This kid’s a great actor he played the part of Obi Wan Kenobi on the Star Wars prequels. The movies sucked but his performance was notable nonetheless.

  44. Mr. Fritz

    #28, lmao with your comment. She was attractive in that movie where she lives in Wal-Mart. Ashley Judd was in it too. She has potential.

  45. hurley

    weird thing about cocks: this guy in college used to try and sleep with EVERYbody. it wasn’t long (a few months?) before he was successful and we got reports from various girls about how unusually small he was. (apparently not even 4 inches.) why would someone with a small willy be constantly sharing it with the world?

    usually the people who talk about it most (size, ability, desire) are the ones most lacking.

  46. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Unlike BigJim. I believe it when he says that he’s 7″(?), when he could have lied and said it was like 9″, since all the girls were drooling over the picture of him in a towel, and would have been more likely to believe an exaggeration.

  47. Iambananas

    Yeah, she’s really a little boy.

  48. Errrika

    That was poetic lambananas. I can almost smell the smoke from your overworked brain.

  49. gogoboots

    She’s just really little…and has short hair and looks like a 12 year old boy. Oh well, what can you do?!

  50. I’m tired of being what you want me to be,
    Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface….

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