Natalie Portman looks like a terrorist

According to Page Six, Natalie Portman is convinced that her shaved head makes her look like a terrorist, and suspects it was the reason police pulled her over by the Midtown Tunnel the other day.

“I’ve never had that happen to me before,” she tells Newsweek. “It’s supposedly random. My registration was expired because I had been out of town, and it was my first day back. I’d been in Israel and Berlin for the shooting. They wouldn’t let me go in. But he said to take the bridge instead. And I didn’t understand that logic. If you’re a suspect, don’t take the tunnel, take the bridge?”

I totally understand how Natalie Portman feels. I shaved my head a few years ago and was hanging around the White House and the Secret Service just wouldn’t leave me alone. They accused me of trying to blow up the White House and kill the President – and sure, maybe I had a stick of dynamite in my back pocket along with a death threat – but I know the real reason they kept pestering me was because of my shaved head. Man, us baldies never get left alone.