Natalie Portman is tiny


I’ve never understood why so many people find Natalie Portman so attractive. She looks like an eight-year-old boy, which means these people are pedophiles. “Well,” they’ll say, “Natalie’s not that sexy. She’s no Dakota Fanning, that’s for sure. That bitch is hot.” Natalie’s not a girl you have sex with; she’s a girl you sit in front of the tv with a stack of Powerpuff Girls DVDs and hope she doesn’t cry at the scary parts.

Thanks to Gracie for the tip.