Natalie Portman is sort of not really nude

March 21st, 2007 // 36 Comments
natalie-portman-sort-of-nude.jpg

You’d think Natalie Portman naked and crying would be a little more entertaining than this, but you’d be wrong. You’d be so wrong. Especially if you thought ‘naked’ meant juggling chainsaws like I did. C’mon, woman, you call that juggling? I’ve seen better juggling at the platypus! I really need to learn what words mean.

Click the image for Natalie Portman’s slightly NSFW nude scene from Goya’s Ghosts.

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Comments (36)

  1. veggi | March 21, 2007 at 9:31 am

    boring.

    Reply
  2. veggi | March 21, 2007 at 9:32 am

    oh, and FRIST! That was for you FRIST!

    Reply
  3. jakebarnes | March 21, 2007 at 9:32 am

    Yeah she needs to get on the Britney/Lohan trolley, mostly because people actually would like to see her naked.

    Reply
  4. ponk | March 21, 2007 at 9:33 am

    i read this blurb twice and I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. Is this a superficial post or an ad?

    Reply
  5. YouRang | March 21, 2007 at 9:33 am

    Disappointing. That plain fucking sucked. I got the lotion and tissues out for nothing. Fuck you fish. Liar!

    Reply
  6. Spock's Left Nut | March 21, 2007 at 9:34 am

    Where was the torture? I was promised torture.

    Reply
  7. BarbadoSlim | March 21, 2007 at 9:37 am

    “I’ve seen better juggling at the platypus! I really need to learn what words mean.” WTF!?!?!

    *sigh*

    I would enjoy looking at Natalie naked but I’m pretty sure looking at naked pictures of 12 year old boys over the internet is a federal rap.

    Reply
  8. veggi | March 21, 2007 at 9:37 am

    where’s my man?

    Reply
  9. HerpesHilton | March 21, 2007 at 9:38 am

    I have such a girl-crush on her.

    Reply
  10. danielle | March 21, 2007 at 9:39 am

    What these kind of people will do for green paper. So sad.

    Reply
  11. PatreeseD | March 21, 2007 at 9:40 am

    Um… Okay. Why didn’t we get to see what happened after he started grabbing her like that? I want some rape and torture, damnit!
    Oh, by the way, where was his mask? I thought that movie with her being tortured that dude had a mask on. Now, THAT is scary.

    Reply
  12. DrPhowstus | March 21, 2007 at 9:46 am

    I suddenly have a hankering for some ribs.

    Reply
  13. F-Sucker | March 21, 2007 at 9:47 am

    Let’s see some cooch.

    Reply
  14. imran karim | March 21, 2007 at 9:48 am

    that was lame. esp if it was a body double in the end

    Reply
  15. jrzmommy | March 21, 2007 at 9:49 am

    I’m just…I….I really just don’t care about her.

    Reply
  16. veggi | March 21, 2007 at 9:56 am

    why must we be forced to look at these hobbits? Pile Eva L., Nat, and the charmed chick on top of each other, and they’d be 5’8″.

    Reply
  17. Bugman4045 | March 21, 2007 at 10:20 am

    I prefer her semi nude scenes in “The Professional”
    Rowr!

    Reply
  18. sdserf | March 21, 2007 at 10:21 am

    Man.. I read this headline, got up and walked all the way the drug store to pick up some lube and tissue. Got home, hooked up my computer to the living-room LCD, sat down and pressed play. I felt a little flutter in my grotchable area but nothing, absolutely nothing. And the worst part is the drug store will not give me a refund now.

    Reply
  19. Alllegiononflegit | March 21, 2007 at 10:23 am

    She is gorgeous. Too bad you don’t see more. We will just have to wait for her career to tank and she will show it all. They always do.

    Reply
  20. Alllegiononflegit | March 21, 2007 at 10:25 am

    She is gorgeous. Too bad you don’t see more. We will just have to wait for her career to tank and she will show it all. They always do.

    Reply
  21. p911gt10c | March 21, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Meh, I’ve already seen pics of her topless on a beach from a couple of years back, I’m good. This was just dull.

    Reply
  22. wedgeone | March 21, 2007 at 10:42 am

    Looks like AntiClown Media officially hired DamYell to write their unfunny diatribe. Pathetic.
    Oh, and so was this “nude scene”.

    Reply
  23. combustion8 | March 21, 2007 at 11:19 am

    nuthin wrong with a little side ass, I’d hit it till the cows came home.

    Reply
  24. kristynn | March 21, 2007 at 11:56 am

    she could be spread eagle and touching herself and it wouldn’t matter with that hair…

    Reply
  25. woodhorse | March 21, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    Pay attention Wally!! I would so hit it!! I would do anything she wanted me to. And the bitch knows it.

    Reply
  26. ^Jenna^ | March 21, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    I see more nudity getting dressed to go to college every day.
    Completely separate point: Is she getting molested (well, slightly touched more like) by a priest?
    I knew Catholic priests were into boys, but this scene just gives it a whole new meaning

    Reply
  27. Truthseeker013 | March 21, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    I’m not hearing hate from the Star Wars set…

    Reply
  28. Rascalnikov | March 21, 2007 at 6:08 pm

    She’s a crap actress. This is like the poorly-played tortured victim routine she did in V For Vendetta. She was crap in that too. Don’t even get me started about how bad she was in the Star Wars flicks.

    Reply
  29. mika85 | March 21, 2007 at 6:12 pm

    17: she was actually 10-12 years old then i think. pedophile much? sick nasty fucker…

    she still looks 10-12 in this clip.

    Reply
  30. chundadownunda | March 21, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    I guess false advertising is acceptable in the viral promotion of a film…’nude’ will always get punters in for a peak. Without this innuendo sites like the Superficial would ignore it. Close up of pictures by Goya anyone? Nah don’t think that will sell it… It hasn’t a ghost of a chance…ghost get it..oh never mind. Next!

    Reply
  31. Ithrowball,youleave | March 21, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Check out the links to the other scenes. The scene where they’ve got her arms pulled up behind her and she’s hanging by them from the ceiling made my toes curl. OUCH!

    Reply
  32. woodhorse | March 21, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    None of you sadly unenlightened have seen Natalie in “Closer” which is a totally HAWT movie and Natalie can act her ass off – and literally does – Keira is only a Natalie wannabe….

    Reply
  33. Pikachelsea | March 22, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    This is considered entertainment?

    Reply
  34. herbiefrog | March 24, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    she is a “great” actor
    …or actress : )

    and you dont need to see her naked

    …are we nearly there yet ?

    Reply
  35. jon | July 24, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    um…it’s a body double retards. she didnt actually get nude for this shit flick

    Reply
  36. gucci outlet | May 26, 2010 at 7:23 am

    I like…so beautiful and sexy,good!

    Reply

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