Natalie Portman is smarter than you

natalie-portman-teach.jpgA nice palette-cleansing story to wash the horrible taste of underage molestation, Steve-O’s heart-shaped groin, chunky Britney pics, and Hasselhoff beatings out of your mouth: Ms. Natalie Portman, fresh off her summer as a Sinead O’Conner impersonator, stepped into a Columbia University classroom on Monday as a stand-in professor for the day.

The cynic in me immediately dismisses this as a publicity-stunt-disguised-as-a-nice-gesture to get her new movie V for Vendetta in the news, kind of like when Angelina Jolie adopts a bunch of kids right before her movies open. On the other hand, it is Natalie Portman, fluent in five languages, degree from Harvard, and perfect in every way. My gut is telling me to go with the latter. As is my penis.