Natalie Portman gets peed on by a dog

April 22nd, 2008 // 69 Comments

I make it an effort to try and capture the pulse of you, my dear readers. And you came out in force today to tell me the news that is most dearest to your heart: Natalie Portman getting whizzed on by a dog. There’s numerous times I worry if I’m writing to a group of disgruntled, undersexed office workers who will one day stab me in the eye with an optical mouse (Most likely after a Heidi Montag post.). But now I know for certain that you guys are HOLY FUCKING SHIT AWESOME! Seriously, I’d marry you all if not for the whole polygamy is illegal thing. Stupid laws. Anyway, don’t change a bit.

Thanks to Roxie who immediately thought of me after seeing a pooch pee on Natalie. *sniff* I’m so damn proud…

Photo: NY Post

  1. JagedNS

    I got peed on by a homeless person today…why isn’t my pic on the fracking computer…huh? huh?


  2. Serin


    She is hot..

  3. FRIST!!!

    Now that’s fucking hot. I would tap that.

    The dog, not Natalie Portman.

  4. noneyobeezwax

    i always knew she was into the golden showers. and beastiality to boot. kinky.

  5. FRIST!!!

    @3…fucking trolls!

  6. veggi

    Why exactly is this news again? Maybe if she were coming out of Kim Kardashian’s ass, that would make news.

  7. Ted from LA

    I would definitely pass that up for an unknown hooker.

  8. Roshaa

    fucking fantastic

  9. dude

    Somewhere, R Kelly is masturbating to this photo.

    And Kim LardAssian just asked the dog for it’s phone number.

    Thank you, I’ll be here all week, don’t be afraid to try the Salisbury Steak.

  10. esther

    is there a story behind that? other than the commenst about us being “…a group of disgruntled, undersexed office workers who will one day stab me in the eye with an optical mouse (Most likely after a Heidi Montag post.).” which i personally am. why is she being peed by a dog ?

  11. Jimbo

    @1…because you’re obviously not newsworthy. Plus, dogs are sexier than homeless people, and homeless people are sexier than you.

  12. I LOVE Natalie Portman.

    I can’t believe she was peed on by a dog. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Does anyone notice how cool she looks despite the … uh chaos?

  13. Boogie

    I bet she was pissed.

  14. Dorito Man

    I didn’t know that another Benji sequel is being filmed.

  15. Burpin Buka

    She looks impressed! Benji’s the man.

  16. wow apparently the dog doesn’t know how Gangsta
    Natalie is or he wouldn’t have tried that shit. lol

  17. Waterhouse

    @13 I doubt she got pissed. She comes off well in interviews, i.e. not some hollywood asshole … more like a nice, normal person.

    I’ll dry clean her coat anytime.

  18. hmmm...

    maybe somebody paid the dog to do it

  19. labbit

    doggy style

  20. Wow, Like seriously. This is really big news!

  21. How is it that it seems like only yesterday Natalie had a buzz cut…but after all this time, Britney STILL has those crappy extensions?

  22. Shantelle

    Hmm, now.. how to live down the name ‘Pissy Pants Portman’? Brings a whooole new meaning to the name!

  23. hahaha

    if elizabeth hurley’s photoshop artists could just put paris’s face on natalie’s body… now THAT’S the pic i want to see.

  24. “” from China ask for a link! Thank you.

  25. Prof

    AAHAA That little dog OWNED her pissy ass! You’re not a ALPHA BITCH!

  26. Tamara

    Wow, I think I saw that dog’s profile on C e l e brityb i tches. c o m. All kinds of hot animals there. Go check it out!

  27. herbiefrog

    is it almost spring ?

    dont tell me the season is changing…

    [not the 4 minutes again]

  28. skeet

    Natalie is way cute.
    I would totally let her pee on me! I’d drink it up then have her kick me in the balls until I puke!

  29. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Fuckin’ celebs getting stuff for free. I had to pay #18 five bucks when I pissed on her.

  30. Kim got peed on by a less intelligent species.

  31. Gotothenet

    So not only is her hairline receding, but she smells of scruffy urine? Pass

  32. 9 out of 10 Dogs prefer Jesus

    It’s okay, Natalie. Cats like witches, try to pat one of them next time.

  33. Hecubus

    Wow, strangely enough this is EXACTLY my fetish.

  34. long-dong-silver

    What no comments saying she’s into Golden Showers!?!?!?!
    C’mon people!!!!!!!!!!

  35. Anal Fistula

    i’d love to piss on natalie

  36. nobodyyouknow

    #35, meet #4…

  37. cool

    She is so sexy!!!!! And that is just her stock in trade. Now she is a hot member of a dating site called m e e t i n g w e a l t h y dot com. She posted many sexy photos there. It is said she is dating friends there.

  38. We were so delighted by this act that the city of Brussels decided to immediately erect a statue for the dog (not Natalie)

  39. Lexoka

    Another proof that dogs and other animals don’t belong in cities…

  40. This is funny, Elizabeth Hurley is one hot celebrity.

  41. Grunion

    Thats some hot ass dog / oscar nominee golden shower action right here

  42. woodhorse

    I can’t believe I have to say I want that coat really really bad.

  43. poopinmornin

    nazi dog get his revenge

    anyway that hair sux

  44. Randal

    Better, Fish, but I swear you go out of your way to find the most disgustingly fat freaks to feature. I mean the dog is a complete lard-ass. The things needs a groomer and a plastic surgeon to siphon out half that gut.

    Where are the right-sized dogs?

  45. Haha. She looks great… even while being peed on.

  46. 0h

    Best picture ever.

  47. jaon

    I found her on a celebrity dating site called Wealthy Kiss.c o m or something. I forget the screename. I will check it out for you guys and come out with the truth soon.

    anyway: THANKS!!

  49. Alex

    I will stop coming to this site if you do not get rid of the ads with audio. They are totally annoying and there are plenty of other celeb sites out there.

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