Natalie Portman gets monkey love
March 17th, 2006 // 97 Comments
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Bad_kitty_cat | March 17, 2006 at 3:04 pm
very intellectual portman :-S
Bad_kitty_cat | March 17, 2006 at 3:04 pm
wohoooo… I got first post…
BarbadoSlim | March 17, 2006 at 3:06 pm
GET YOUR HENDS OFF HER!!!…YOU DAMNED DIRTY APE!!!
that fills my Charlton Heston quota for this week.
InsomniActress | March 17, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Has Natalie found another costar at her acting ability level? I think so! Unfortunately, the movie will never get made. I’m sure Natalie is jealous that the monkey is so much cuter than she is with that psych ward hair cut…
BarbadoSlim | March 17, 2006 at 3:08 pm
hehe *hends* sorry no edit but you get the point
sagacia | March 17, 2006 at 3:10 pm
She looks scared to death.
inspector11 | March 17, 2006 at 3:12 pm
I always hug my opponent after a feces fight too. It’s just proper etiquette.
BarbadoSlim | March 17, 2006 at 3:12 pm
hmmm this girl has more talent than the current crop of young scum that’s contaminating Hollywood at the moment. Even so, she did suck copiuos amounts of ass playing Amidala.
Lala | March 17, 2006 at 3:16 pm
From the birth of civilization, per Darwin, to corporate shill for a software giant – that monkey’s made a lot of headlines.
Cynicharisma | March 17, 2006 at 3:18 pm
My God… I never thought she’d start dating Michael Jackson!
Oh, no, wait, that’s not him… Michael doesn’t look that human.
B-Bomb | March 17, 2006 at 3:19 pm
what is jack black doing making out with natalie portman?!?! i thought he just got married to some lady he knocked up! that monkey gets around, folks.
InsomniActress | March 17, 2006 at 3:23 pm
I really wanted to like Natalie Portman after her work in “The Diary of Anne Frank” on Broadway. But I just can’t respect her work.
Let me review what I’ve seen of her work:
- Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (Queen Amidala) – she was completely bland in this.
- Anywhere But Here (Ann August) – boooorrriiinnngggg
- Where the Heart Is? (Novalee Nation) – Terrible! And she wasted a really great monologue in it, too.
- Garden State (Sam) – Her character did not seem to be pursuing any goal whatsoever. Weak, weak, weak. Overrated.
- Closer (Alice) – Phenomenal script was broken by her performance. One of the most overrated performances I’ve ever seen. I saw nothing new from her. She wasn’t believable. She wasn’t even likable (and she’s supposed to be). It was utter crap.
She has no flexibility as an actor. She’s not dynamic. She’s not believable. She indulges too much in her lines. She’s flat. She’s a terrible, terrible actor who gets far too much recognition for mediocre work.
bigfatmomma | March 17, 2006 at 3:25 pm
I thought she was gorgeous in Star Wars, but in those pictures she looks like an eight year old boy :/
Triumph Insult Dog | March 17, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Oh, no! How can she let him kiss her? Monkeys eat their hair bugs and throw their own feces!
Who am I to talk, huh? I will lick someone’s face 10 seconds after licking my own nutsack!
Don’t judge me, poop on you!
Todd | March 17, 2006 at 3:50 pm
#12 – this whole story is boooooooorrrrrinnnnnggggggg. WE NEED MORE PARIS AND HER STD’s!!!!!!!!!!
cleomoon | March 17, 2006 at 3:55 pm
I find it incredibly sad that these poor relatives of ours are forced to work in places such as Vegas and circuses. Chimps are not toys, they are living creatures and we should respect them and care for them, not abuse them. Thanks for listening.
tito | March 17, 2006 at 3:58 pm
I think Natalie should be wearing a Pepsi shirt and kick the shit out of the monkey.
Derek Hail | March 17, 2006 at 4:03 pm
lucky monkey
blueballs | March 17, 2006 at 4:05 pm
you know hollywood is hurting when they name this horrible actress “female star of the year.”
And i wasn’t aware they name the 2006 female star of the year in March.
MeganHarris | March 17, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Dude, thats Captain Kirk, I don’t know what your talking about.
xaputa | March 17, 2006 at 4:17 pm
Why would Captain Kirk be wearing a Coca-Cola t-shir? You make no sense at all MeganHarris.
…Why is Peter Pan wearing a golden dress?
InsomniActress | March 17, 2006 at 4:24 pm
#19 – blueballs
I am in complete agreement.
On both counts.
L.ronhubbard | March 17, 2006 at 4:26 pm
That hairy chap in the Coke shirt is Jerry Stiller. Natalie only dates nice Jewish men.
Zanna | March 17, 2006 at 4:48 pm
#12 – WTF?!? Go to bed!
santori | March 17, 2006 at 4:51 pm
That’s not a monkey.
Jayne | March 17, 2006 at 4:56 pm
#12 you’re rants are overrated.
now stfu.
yeah I said it.
did it make sense?
nah.
oh ps.
She rocks in V for Vendetta <3
Jayne | March 17, 2006 at 4:57 pm
#12 you’re rants are overrated.
now stfu.
yeah I said it.
did it make sense?
nah.
oh ps.
She rocks in V for Vendetta <3
brunette15 | March 17, 2006 at 5:14 pm
#12-wtf? what do you have against her. “weak,weak,overrated” . enough with the drama!calm down,god.
#21 i agree she does kinda look like peter pan lol
Akapee | March 17, 2006 at 5:22 pm
I think #12 (InsomniActress) is an actress who cannot get a job and has become an insomniac. She stays up late at night wondering how life is like for successful actresses like Natalie Portman. Maybe #12 can sleep easier if she went to Harvard, had a cute face (either naturally or artificially) and made a few good shows to put herself on the map. Ranting about others will get you nuthin….nuts of weird guys is all u’ll get
Feed_Me_Chocolate | March 17, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Let’s face it, she’s adorable in whatever kind of haircut or clothes she’s wearing. The girl has got an angel face like Audrey Hepburn (though I’ll admit lacks the acting chops that Audrey sported).
Feed_Me_Chocolate | March 17, 2006 at 5:28 pm
BTW,
I fling poo.
Jonboy in SF | March 17, 2006 at 5:31 pm
#12 had the balls not only to post the truth but to break it down by example. Thank you! It’s good to know that someone else finds her as bland and uninspiring as I (and I bet millions of others) do. She’s like Meg Ryan’s protege – cutesy but can’t act for shit.
sometimesboy | March 17, 2006 at 5:35 pm
That’s the first time I’ve seen Natalie Portman’s monkey rub HER…
Spindoc | March 17, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Wow, Tara Reid has REALLY hit the skids.
mamacita | March 17, 2006 at 6:04 pm
@16
You said:
“I find it incredibly sad that these poor relatives of ours are forced to work in places such as Vegas and circuses. Chimps are not toys, they are living creatures and we should respect them and care for them, not abuse them. Thanks for listening.”
Who said we were listening? Geez, buy a sense of humor.
? shhexycorin ? | March 17, 2006 at 6:09 pm
That’s probably just some creepy nerd stalker in disguise.
I imagine you all saw Natalie rapping?
http://www.nbc.com/Video/videos/snl_1439_natalieraps.shtml
sunglassali | March 17, 2006 at 6:54 pm
face – pretty
Hair cut – bad!
Why is the monkey there again? She’s Staying @ the Paris Hotel, Not Circus Circus
InsomniActress | March 17, 2006 at 7:00 pm
#24 – Zanna
We must be in different timezones, because it’s the middle of the day where I am, and going to bed makes little sense at this hour.
#26/27 – Jayne
I wasn’t ranting. I was defending my previously stated opinion. I posted it in #4 and was supporting my claim because of #8. I haven’t seen “V for Vendetta”, so I am not going to agree or disagree with your final statement.
#28 – brunette15
I think I explained why I dislike Natalie Portman sufficiently in my previous post. I am perfectly calm at the moment, and I think you’re reading my post as though it contained more fire and brimstone than originally intended. You’ll note that there are no capital letters, and there is not an excessive use of emphatic punctuation. I am merely stating an opinion.
#29 – Akapee
I enjoyed your post greatly. I’m not being sarcastic. It was a creative use of language. I liked it.
That said, no, you’re wrong. I’m an actress, as my name suggests, and I am also an insomniac. I am not out of work. I am not jealous of Natalie Portman. I respect plenty of actresses in this general age group (a prime example being Rachel McAdams). I just do not find a lot to applaud in her work. That’s just my opinion, of course.
I may not have a degree from Harvard, but I do have a degree in Theatre (unlike Ms. Portman). I think it’s bizarre that you chose to attack my appearance when you have about as much knowledge of me as I have of you. I have no desire to be famous. I only have the desire to do good, worthwhile work. So no, getting myself “on the map” as you say would have no bearing on my opinion of Ms. Portman’s work.
Again, ranting was not my intention. I was merely defending my previous statement.
#32 – Jonboy
Thank you for supporting me. Very kind of you. It’s nice that someone out there agrees with me.
#36 – ? shhexycorin ?
That’s probably the best work I’ve ever seen out of Natalie. Thanks for posting it.
whackjob | March 17, 2006 at 7:01 pm
hey 36, thx for the link, hadn’t seen it. It was actually pretty funny for SNL.
As for Portman. She’s ok, she’s still cuttin her teeth and will make some decent stuff in the future. sezme.
xaputa | March 17, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Sooo…why is there a sort of cable going up the monkeys leg and under his shirt? (pic 2)
Jerk616 | March 17, 2006 at 7:30 pm
re:40
I think that monkey is wearing leather pants and its not a cable. If so, I’m wearing the exact same thing, up to and including the coca cola shirt.
Aimlessway | March 17, 2006 at 7:53 pm
Animals all get first dibs…
candlestick | March 17, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Uneducated, uncouth people: IT’S AN APE!!!!!! Chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys….DUH!
sometimesboy | March 17, 2006 at 9:13 pm
Oh…it looks like Elijah Wood has joined PETA…
paige | March 17, 2006 at 9:22 pm
#35 – when will you ever stop stirring stuff up with others? are you that superior?
oh i forgot … this is your only social outlet – posts at 10, 2 and 4 … and midnite
paige | March 17, 2006 at 9:27 pm
#38 – your post was very intelligent and you are entitled to your opinion
you will notice most of the posts here are from 12 year olds or retards who obsess on the lives of celebrities
evilmcdeathmonster | March 17, 2006 at 9:57 pm
She looks like a retard. Literally.
The Serial Cynic | March 17, 2006 at 10:07 pm
#38- I was with you… I mean, I thought we had something really special going on, but Rachel Fucking McAdams?
You are talking about the mono-dimesional trophy actress? The one from such riveting pieces of cinema as “Mean Girls” and “The Hot Chick”.
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
I dug your argument (though I disagreed) up until that point. Now I think you are another frustrated actor who has probably read to much Stanislavski and is convinced that acting is about “process” and “motivations”, when all it actually is, is “pretending”.
InsomniActress | March 17, 2006 at 10:26 pm
#46 – paige
Thanks for that. Point taken. :)
#48 – The Serial Cynic
I haven’t seen the movies you mentioned, so I can’t comment on them. I’ve seen other films she’s worked on, though. I am intruigued by her role choices. She isn’t stuck in one genre or one type of role. She’s a flexible actress and she comes off as genuine and interesting. But again, that’s just my opinion.
She was one example of an actor in Natalie Portman’s peer group who I feel is a better actor than Natalie Portman. If you agreed with my post other than the example I listed, I hope that you will share a name or two that you feel tops Portman. I’d love to see if we agree on other actors or not.
No, I am not a frustrated actor obsessed with Stanislavski, although I find that to be an amusing theory (and one that’s popular on this thread). I am simply a person with opinions. It is my opinion that Rachel McAdams is a better actor than Natalie Portman. And I welcome discussion surrounding that opinion. Let’s not forget that I am inviting other opinions here. This is obviously subjective, not objective, and I am not by any means insisting that my way of thinking is the only proper way to think.
whackjob | March 17, 2006 at 10:43 pm
I’d hit it.
The primate, I mean.
er, the primate in the saucy red top/black leather pants outfit.