Natalie Portman gets monkey love

March 17th, 2006 // 97 Comments

  1. Todd

    #12 – this whole story is boooooooorrrrrinnnnnggggggg. WE NEED MORE PARIS AND HER STD’s!!!!!!!!!!

  2. cleomoon

    I find it incredibly sad that these poor relatives of ours are forced to work in places such as Vegas and circuses. Chimps are not toys, they are living creatures and we should respect them and care for them, not abuse them. Thanks for listening.

  3. tito

    I think Natalie should be wearing a Pepsi shirt and kick the shit out of the monkey.

  4. blueballs

    you know hollywood is hurting when they name this horrible actress “female star of the year.”

    And i wasn’t aware they name the 2006 female star of the year in March.

  5. Dude, thats Captain Kirk, I don’t know what your talking about.

  6. xaputa

    Why would Captain Kirk be wearing a Coca-Cola t-shir? You make no sense at all MeganHarris.

    …Why is Peter Pan wearing a golden dress?

  7. InsomniActress

    #19 – blueballs

    I am in complete agreement.
    On both counts.

  8. L.ronhubbard

    That hairy chap in the Coke shirt is Jerry Stiller. Natalie only dates nice Jewish men.

  9. Zanna

    #12 – WTF?!? Go to bed!

  10. That’s not a monkey.

  11. Jayne

    #12 you’re rants are overrated.

    now stfu.

    yeah I said it.

    did it make sense?


    oh ps.
    She rocks in V for Vendetta <3

  12. Jayne

    #12 you’re rants are overrated.

    now stfu.

    yeah I said it.

    did it make sense?


    oh ps.
    She rocks in V for Vendetta <3

  13. brunette15

    #12-wtf? what do you have against her. “weak,weak,overrated” . enough with the drama!calm down,god.
    #21 i agree she does kinda look like peter pan lol

  14. Akapee

    I think #12 (InsomniActress) is an actress who cannot get a job and has become an insomniac. She stays up late at night wondering how life is like for successful actresses like Natalie Portman. Maybe #12 can sleep easier if she went to Harvard, had a cute face (either naturally or artificially) and made a few good shows to put herself on the map. Ranting about others will get you nuthin….nuts of weird guys is all u’ll get

  15. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Let’s face it, she’s adorable in whatever kind of haircut or clothes she’s wearing. The girl has got an angel face like Audrey Hepburn (though I’ll admit lacks the acting chops that Audrey sported).

  16. Feed_Me_Chocolate


    I fling poo.

  17. Jonboy in SF

    #12 had the balls not only to post the truth but to break it down by example. Thank you! It’s good to know that someone else finds her as bland and uninspiring as I (and I bet millions of others) do. She’s like Meg Ryan’s protege – cutesy but can’t act for shit.

  18. That’s the first time I’ve seen Natalie Portman’s monkey rub HER…

  19. Wow, Tara Reid has REALLY hit the skids.

  20. mamacita


    You said:

    “I find it incredibly sad that these poor relatives of ours are forced to work in places such as Vegas and circuses. Chimps are not toys, they are living creatures and we should respect them and care for them, not abuse them. Thanks for listening.”

    Who said we were listening? Geez, buy a sense of humor.

  21. That’s probably just some creepy nerd stalker in disguise.

    I imagine you all saw Natalie rapping?

  22. sunglassali

    face – pretty
    Hair cut – bad!
    Why is the monkey there again? She’s Staying @ the Paris Hotel, Not Circus Circus

  23. InsomniActress

    #24 – Zanna

    We must be in different timezones, because it’s the middle of the day where I am, and going to bed makes little sense at this hour.

    #26/27 – Jayne

    I wasn’t ranting. I was defending my previously stated opinion. I posted it in #4 and was supporting my claim because of #8. I haven’t seen “V for Vendetta”, so I am not going to agree or disagree with your final statement.

    #28 – brunette15

    I think I explained why I dislike Natalie Portman sufficiently in my previous post. I am perfectly calm at the moment, and I think you’re reading my post as though it contained more fire and brimstone than originally intended. You’ll note that there are no capital letters, and there is not an excessive use of emphatic punctuation. I am merely stating an opinion.

    #29 – Akapee

    I enjoyed your post greatly. I’m not being sarcastic. It was a creative use of language. I liked it.

    That said, no, you’re wrong. I’m an actress, as my name suggests, and I am also an insomniac. I am not out of work. I am not jealous of Natalie Portman. I respect plenty of actresses in this general age group (a prime example being Rachel McAdams). I just do not find a lot to applaud in her work. That’s just my opinion, of course.

    I may not have a degree from Harvard, but I do have a degree in Theatre (unlike Ms. Portman). I think it’s bizarre that you chose to attack my appearance when you have about as much knowledge of me as I have of you. I have no desire to be famous. I only have the desire to do good, worthwhile work. So no, getting myself “on the map” as you say would have no bearing on my opinion of Ms. Portman’s work.

    Again, ranting was not my intention. I was merely defending my previous statement.

    #32 – Jonboy

    Thank you for supporting me. Very kind of you. It’s nice that someone out there agrees with me.

    #36 – ? shhexycorin ?

    That’s probably the best work I’ve ever seen out of Natalie. Thanks for posting it.

  24. whackjob

    hey 36, thx for the link, hadn’t seen it. It was actually pretty funny for SNL.

    As for Portman. She’s ok, she’s still cuttin her teeth and will make some decent stuff in the future. sezme.

  25. xaputa

    Sooo…why is there a sort of cable going up the monkeys leg and under his shirt? (pic 2)

  26. Jerk616


    I think that monkey is wearing leather pants and its not a cable. If so, I’m wearing the exact same thing, up to and including the coca cola shirt.

  27. Aimlessway

    Animals all get first dibs…

  28. candlestick

    Uneducated, uncouth people: IT’S AN APE!!!!!! Chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys….DUH!

  29. Oh…it looks like Elijah Wood has joined PETA…

  30. paige

    #35 – when will you ever stop stirring stuff up with others? are you that superior?

    oh i forgot … this is your only social outlet – posts at 10, 2 and 4 … and midnite

  31. paige

    #38 – your post was very intelligent and you are entitled to your opinion

    you will notice most of the posts here are from 12 year olds or retards who obsess on the lives of celebrities

  32. evilmcdeathmonster

    She looks like a retard. Literally.

  33. #38- I was with you… I mean, I thought we had something really special going on, but Rachel Fucking McAdams?

    You are talking about the mono-dimesional trophy actress? The one from such riveting pieces of cinema as “Mean Girls” and “The Hot Chick”.


    I dug your argument (though I disagreed) up until that point. Now I think you are another frustrated actor who has probably read to much Stanislavski and is convinced that acting is about “process” and “motivations”, when all it actually is, is “pretending”.

  34. InsomniActress

    #46 – paige

    Thanks for that. Point taken. :)

    #48 – The Serial Cynic

    I haven’t seen the movies you mentioned, so I can’t comment on them. I’ve seen other films she’s worked on, though. I am intruigued by her role choices. She isn’t stuck in one genre or one type of role. She’s a flexible actress and she comes off as genuine and interesting. But again, that’s just my opinion.

    She was one example of an actor in Natalie Portman’s peer group who I feel is a better actor than Natalie Portman. If you agreed with my post other than the example I listed, I hope that you will share a name or two that you feel tops Portman. I’d love to see if we agree on other actors or not.

    No, I am not a frustrated actor obsessed with Stanislavski, although I find that to be an amusing theory (and one that’s popular on this thread). I am simply a person with opinions. It is my opinion that Rachel McAdams is a better actor than Natalie Portman. And I welcome discussion surrounding that opinion. Let’s not forget that I am inviting other opinions here. This is obviously subjective, not objective, and I am not by any means insisting that my way of thinking is the only proper way to think.

  35. whackjob

    I’d hit it.

    The primate, I mean.

    er, the primate in the saucy red top/black leather pants outfit.

  36. open_mind

    It’s nice to see that after Jessica Simpson pulled out of the GOP fundraiser, President Bush was able to meet with Natalie Portman instead.

  37. Pez_D_Spencer

    Why is she copping a feel in the first pic?

  38. mamacita


    And bipolar disorder rears its ugly head once again. My guess is that you pop up on here once you’ve run your credit cards up to their limit during your manic shopping sprees. Lookee, here’s a list of manic symptoms.

    * Increased physical and mental activity and energy
    * Exaggerated optimism and self-confidence
    * Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior
    * Decreased need for sleep without becoming tired
    * Grandiose thoughts, extreme sense of self-importance
    * Racing speech, racing thoughts
    * Impulsiveness, poor judgment
    * Reckless behavior such as spending sprees, impulsive business decisions, erratic driving and sexual indiscretions
    * In severe cases, delusions and hallucinations

    See, when you start having these problems, that’s when you need to take your lithium!! Ya dumb bitch.

  39. blackblackheart

    Just saw V For Vendetta, it was fucking hella awesome. GO WATCH IT NOW.

  40. Is this a screen shot from “Garden State 2″?

  41. lysistrata11

    Posted by paige on March 17, 2006 09:27 PM

    “you will notice most of the posts here are from 12 year olds or retards who obsess on the lives of celebrities”

    Hellloooo? Isn’t that the point of this website? To make fun of silly, stupid celebrity news? This site is called, not i’ Chill out a little and don’t insult everyone. It’s very unbecoming of you.

  42. lysistrata11

    Does anyone else think that Natalie looks a little terrified in the third picture?

  43. jake

    #57, Yes I agree. I would be terrified of anyone in a Coke t-shirt as well. Hasn’t that monkey heard Coke is so over? Pepsi monkey, Pepsi.

  44. chiris

    That last picture is really cute and adorable. She hugs someone her size and it’s perfect!! I think the chimp is trying to hump her

  45. prideofchucky

    Funny, when I ask her to “touch my monkey” I get my ass kicked by bodyguards.

  46. Krysil

    She isn’t scared, she just realized the ape was coping a feel.
    It almost looks like she’s trying to decide if she likes it or not…

  47. hafaball

    Unforetunately the monkey died from too much Coca-cola! :o But that does look like a lot of dates I’ve been on. Not with Natalie Portman, with a chimpanzee I took for an attractive lady. Drugs are bad people…

  48. tis GLAM

    i love natalie portman. she’s a great young actress. a real actress andknows how to handle her celebrity status. not like some trashy slut(like the non-talented lindsay lohan)

  49. brunette15

    re:#38 Sry about before, i mis-interpreted your comments in #12, this site is for expressing and stating your opinions n thats all you did.
    #56:i totally agree:) its all in fun. Shoudnt be taken too seriously.

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