Natalie Portman gets blonde and angry

July 25th, 2006 // 168 Comments
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superficial

  1. datter

    So ban me, but “after the jump” is a symptom of this blog (and others) taking itself way too seriously.

  2. hisforalways

    Looove her.

  3. BarbadoSlim

    @100..sad yet great news, may his engines always have enough power.

    He died well.

  4. bunnyhugger

    amen, barbado.

  5. hopeless_screenwriter

    @100 Holy dog biscuits is this my lucky night or what? Two threads in a row where Bunnyhugger writes something completely fucktarded and then sits and waits for hours for a response. Are you getting the patheticness of your existence yet. And what’s more pathetic is that I’m going to shave my balls and masturbate with a cheesegrater. I say the most ridiculous crap ever. I need to be shot in the face repeatedly with wax coated bullets. I suck. I completely suck. I need to die immediately.

  6. hopeless_screenwriter

    This is boring. You guys all suck. Be back later. HEHEHEHEHEHE

  7. jane's eyre

    So Natalie turns blonde when she’s angry?

  8. jane's eyre

    @101 And you getting your panties in a bind are symptomatic of you taking this (and other) blogs way too seriously. But whatever. Fight the good fight, precious. And we don’t ban here, we assume your screen name and make you say bad things about yourself.

  9. Joey bag o' donuts

    “I became a movie star so I can live a private life” With her hair like that she looks like a total eclipse. What do cameramen say to piss off everyone?

    Paparozzi; Yo bitch, your ass is looking particularly boney today.

    Movie Star; I’m gonna Sean Penn you.

    Paparozzi; Nice head, you look like a total eclipse.

    Movie Star; That’s it! It’s Naomi Campbell time!

    Paparozzi; Click! Click!

    Tomorrows headline; Movie Star with total eclipse head goes super nova on camera dude. (picture by Johnny Paparozzi)

  10. jane's eyre

    Like, I am a human bidet, plying my trade orally cleansing bung holes at truck stops.

  11. SaSsY

    I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING, I USED TO LIKE NATALIE PORTMAN, BUT I DON’T LIKE HER HITTING OUR PAPARAZZIS… I LIVE IN ARGENTINA, NOT IN BUENOS AIRES, BUT NEARBY… AND I THINK SHE NEEDS TO DO A LIL THINKING IN HER UGLY BLOND HEAD, WE ARE NOT IN LOS ANGELES DARLING, I HERE IF YOU HIT A PHOTOGRAPHER YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE… YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT…

    AND I THINK SHE GOT INTO BIG TROUBLE FOR THAT… SO SAYS “JORGE RIAL” A BIG JOURNALIST IN THE SHOWBUSS….

    ANYWAYS… AMIDALA NEEDS TO PUT HER CLAWS AWAYS… HIT YOUR PAPPARAZZIS… BITCH!

    SASSY OUT!

  12. fukusan

    She’s still fine, and I’d like to feed it to her.

  13. Haven’t seen Natalie Portman like this before. She seems like a really nice person. She must have acted this way because she was drunk, not to mention paparazzis are also very annoying too. :(

  14. Jayvee

    She is only angry because she flew to Buenos Aires to stop Gael from getting married, I’m guessing the plan isn’t working…

  15. AmberDextrose

    I see from the photos above (gerbil-creature waving it’s arms about) and the many repeat posts that we have actually entered Groundhog Day.

    We shall be stuck here now forever looking at the same ‘news’ and backstabbing posts until we all get it right.

    So, does that mean more bitching, or less?

    PS – where is my troll? I want my own troll.

  16. herbiefrog

    late as usual… anyway #10

    actually pic 5 looks more like she’s doin a devil’s horns ‘cept that the goat seems to have it’s head down munching grass [surely there's a pun in there somewhere]. …and on pic b4, did she spill some white sauce on her jumper surely if it was cum she’d have noticed where it went? Still… cute.

  17. spatz

    awww christ, still?

  18. SpecialAgentWind

    So #105 faux hopeless is really Hotplate face. How nice, poking a bitch at someone for no reason yet no ability to comment on the celeb. That’s sad that you sucked your moms ass as hotplate face and now your sucking terribly as faux hopeless. I thought I told you to get a life.

  19. hotplateface

    #118 BreakingWind: I do not sign on as other people, fucker. I have one identity, hotplateface. Quit obsessing over me.

    And where the hell is jrzmommy, I miss her witty observances today, must’ve had to run to the store to pick up her viginia slims and monistat.

  20. jane's eyre

    Hmm, the words “Quit obsessing over me” sound suspiciously like lamebananas.

    @110 Nice try, troll.

  21. hotplateface

    #120: Why don’t you go suck up some ants with your aardvark nose.

  22. SpecialAgentWind

    I’ll quit obessing over you (as if) when you stop being a fucktard and attacking posters for no reason other than you’re 12 year old pimp wanna be. What’s the matter – your mom not give you your take on last nights action? Speaking of obession – still got a rock hard on for jrzmommy? Seriously, she’s just not that into you.

  23. jane's eyre

    Yes, I believe those are the same words that lamebananas used. I’m sorry that you’re so mad that people keep on figuring out who you are, but maybe if you weren’t always such a prick you’d be able to hide a little bit better. You probably account for 99% of the trolls on this site. You are a busy little bugger, aren’t you? Pity you have nothing better to do than think up new nicknames to log in under, when you aren’t ripping off someone else’s. Oh well, buck up precious, maybe someday somewhere will like you just as you are.

  24. hotplateface

    #122+123: LADIES & GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT TO YOU THE TWO BIGGEST LOSERS ON THE SUPERFICIAL.

    IN THIS CORNER WEIGHING IN AT 320 LBS IS THE EVER UNFUNNY AND SMELLY “BREAKING WIND”

    AND IN THIS CORNER WEIGING IN AT 250 LBS (200 BEING IN THE CENTER OF HER FACE) BUTT-ASS UGLY JANE’S ERROR.. JANE BEING HER MOTHER’S NAME

    Now you two can spoon away.. Jane smelling your farts, breaking wind.

  25. SpecialAgentWind

    But Hotplate – I only have my obession over you. But please stop confusing me with your fat ass mom.
    BTW – learn to spell – the wiggers will appreciate you better.

  26. jane's eyre

    Wow, lamebananas, et al, that’s one snappy comeback. If you don’t have anything logical and/or factual to say, JUST TYPE IN CAPS AND SAY WHATEVER YOUR PEABRAIN CAN OOZE OUT, AND MAYBE SOMEONE WILL REALLY TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE EVERYONE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION.

  27. jrzmommy

    Shitface!!! It’s you? Where ya been, douchebag? Grounded? Okay, well, run along and finish decaptiating your sister’s Barbies before I get that Claw of Death in the last picture to come and git ya, you little cunt.

  28. jane's eyre

    K, I’m all funned out on feeding the troll. Sorry, everyone else, sometimes when you see a big ugly bug you just gotta smash it, ya know?

  29. spatz

    i guess this is the kind of shit that goes down during the summer. junior high is closed and the kiddos have nothing better to do than raid the superfish. dont you have puppies to kick you evil 13 year old pubescent troll?

  30. hotplateface

    #125: You bitch at me about spelling, yet, I’m trying to figure out what this word means in your ramblings: obession

    Fuckstick.

  31. hotplateface

    #127&128: You two are so fucking hilarious! You’re regular Rowan & Martin’s.

    I just LOVE all the “mommy” references and that I’m 13 years old.. classic comedy!

    And so appropriate, because you two could only match wits with a 13 year old.

  32. YouWannaBMe

    SO
    NICE
    TO
    SEE
    YOU’RE
    BACK
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    SHITHEAD!

    (Done feeding the Troll for the day…)

  33. Justin Igger

    @128 It’s kind of like when children see a big ugly nose and run for their lives. Quick question. Was Gonzo your favorite muppet growing up?

  34. YouWannaBMe

    That pic hardly looks like Natalie Portman. For all we know it can be some hooker there that looks like her and they’re just trying to get some press for their pathetic little country. I find it really really hard to believe that Natalie Portman would flip like that. Ivy leaguer and all… But I guess even the intelligent have their days, am I right? :)

  35. jrzmommy

    Shitface, we told you to go away.

  36. YouWannaBMe

    What the fuck? Is Superfish Guy on vacation this week? Throw us a frikkin’ bone, here, beeyach!

  37. hotplateface

    #135: Once again, awesome comeback! I nearly wet myself with your humor!

    And since when are you the BOSS of Free Speech?

  38. YouWannaBMe

    do they call you hotplateface because of your acne or because of the fact that your mommy liked to discipline you by grabbing your retarted head and fucking frying your face? which one?

    don’t fuck with jrz bitch.

  39. jrzmommy

    I don’t need to make witty comebacks to you. You’re an annoying little puke and nobody likes you.

  40. Did anyone else get the troll firewall is in place warning?

  41. Ez-EEEE

    i can remember a time when attacking fellow posters was funny. when the cooler people got involved. namely me. and oshie, and papa, and mamacita, and of course our ever present punching bag.. megman harris.

    watching you guys fight is like watching
    saved by the bell: the new class.

    sure itll kill half an hour, but at the end of that half hour, you wanna kill yourself.

  42. Justin Igger

    hotplateface stay fuck cheesiemommy n her big nose sucking up all the black mans air friend, fuck them both one of my friends told me to come here cause this site is funny but she did say watch out for these two bitches that fuck everyting up by posting all da fucking time n now i see what she was talking about i might actually never come back but i might stay just to fuck wit these dumbfucks

  43. jane's eyre

    @140
    No, what did it say? Are they going to actually DO something about it? That would be a relief. Then maybe the ‘fish would be fun again, like it was before they showed up.

  44. jrzmommy

    141– and you.

  45. chelleann66

    Okay, I’m so bored that it’s come to this…

    Did you know that “hotplateface” rearranged spells – “hot fecal pate”?

    As in, hotplateface enjoys a savory cracker topped with hot fecal pate.

  46. jane's eyre

    I didn’t know the original Saved by the Bell was funny.

  47. I tried to post some links from the Flame Warriors site so the current prepubescent troll could reach a better understanding of just how sad and overdone he/she/its behavior is, but I got a message saying it was being monitored. Must be just because it had more than one link…it took three to cover all the bases with this one.

  48. http://www.flamewarriors.com/

    Pertaining Warriors:
    ALLCAPS
    Enfant Provocateur
    Troller

  49. spatz

    yeah Ez but that was also when the superfish guy was funny. its all gone to hell. everybody on here deserves a landbeating.

  50. Ez-EEEE

    jane, i was wondering if anyone would notice that, congratulations.

    *gives jane some balloons and a giant check for a penny.

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