Natalie Portman gets blonde and angry

July 25th, 2006 // 168 Comments
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superficial

  1. Fisher55

    we had sex three times : )

  2. Fisher55

    42 it’s adrienne i think. adrian would be a man.

  3. Fugurself

    #50 Pinky, I am staring down ur shirt and I like what I see….can I touch them?

  4. twdldee

    Life in Argentina is hard for the paparazzi. starving photographers! They need some meat, especially when stars aren’t going out if they don’t look Hot Hot Hot!!! Might I recommend a joint and some eye drops, instead?

  5. ImSuicidal

    #44 Sorry to disappoint! There still may be a time…

  6. srggrl26

    that’s a cute little boy, why is he so mad?

  7. pinky_nip

    @53 Fugurself: You are one horny self today, aren’t you?

    If you were to look at my tits, you would drop down on your knees and thank the Lord for creating something so perfect and beautiful, that even He had to take a day off to rest and enjoy them.

  8. PapaHotNuts

    I made some toast this morning, and in the center of one piece, an image of Natalie Portman appeared, much like the images of the Blessed Virgin Mary that appear to people across the world. Instead of erecting a shrine and lighting candles, then notifying the press and the Vatican of this miracle, I simple put some jelly on her face and ate it. I really like toast, especially Natalie portman toast.

  9. SpecialAgentWind

    Pinky_nip
    How do you prefer your pussy lickers? Virgin or more experienced?

  10. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Who knows the escort line in Boston?

  11. biatcho

    Hey Fisher55, I though I told you to kill yourself months ago? Go read some of the posts from yesterday regarding ImSuicidal, take good notes & proceed with doing the world a favor.

    Natalie Portman is so boring, who gives a fuck. probably just got a hold of some angel dust, or fun dip.

  12. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

  13. hopeless_screenwriter

    @15 It’s not the Heat Mizer it’s Bergermeister Meisterberger.

  14. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

  15. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

  16. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

  17. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

  18. Fugurself

    @58, I don’t know what they put in my coffee this morning. All my co-workers were standing around to see me drink it. Then they all laughed after I finished the cup. About an hour later, I rushed to the nearest CVS and got some KY and have been spending most of the day in the restroom. Does anyone know the escort line in Boston?

  19. pinky_nip

    @59: I’m an equal opportunity employer.

  20. ImSuicidal

    I don’t want to bring up old tidings, but over on the Lindsay v Paris pic, #116 needs a butt reaming

  21. jrzmommy

    Fugurself–7 times–I think you just got the Server Fuck Up Multi Post record! Wow. You win a beer!

  22. Fugurself

    Sorry guys, there is something seriously wrong with the server. Piece of crap

  23. CruisingForCock

    Thank you. She was such a polite stripper in Closer.

    71 You’re drunk then, right? Oh wait, this was a server fuck up.

  24. jrzmommy

    73–HUH?

  25. Jacq

    WHAT THE HELL?!?! AGAIN WITH A SWEATER!!!

  26. hopeless_screenwriter

    @34 Pissing myself. “Where did we fail you?” I’m asking myself the same question.

    @13, 22, 28, 40, 42, 55.

    I hope I am speaking for the whole group when I say to you; we do not appreciate your futile attempt to gain attention by lying. You said you were going to kill yourself and we gave you all the tools necessary. Fuck we even gave you access to a website that shows you how. And some of us bought you flowers. I’ll even volunteer as a Pall Bearer, what I’m not going to do is just sit back and let you ‘Wuss Out’. Listening to you blubber about wanting to fit in changing your story “Hey guys I don’t know you, but can I join your club, I never wanted to commit suicide I just wanted to fit in, because I’m a misfit just like you guys.”

    Hint Ass-wipe: We are not mistfits and we are not going to let you off that easy. You can’t be like, “Oh I want to die, can you help me?’ and then pretend like you never really wanted to die. That’s horseshit, and we are not falling for it we know you want to die and we are there for you until the end. Don’t worry you came to the right place.

    And to show my concern (Pushes out of the room) here is a ten dollar bill go to the store and buy some crazy glue and cheese wire…

    …we are all extremely excited to never hear from you ever again, do not let us down.

    With Love,

    Hopeless

  27. ImSuicidal

    #76 You must be that “bogus” hopeless… when The REAL one logs in, then I leave (taking your tenner with me!)

  28. jrzmommy

    Jacq–whispering– think we decided to let Portman slide on the sweater because we think Argentina is in a different hemisphere and it’s not technically summertime there. But we’re still taking snide remarks about the hair and the claw of death coming to get her.

  29. ImSuicidal

    #76 did I say “tenner”, I meant sawbuck!!!

  30. hopeless_screenwriter

    @77 You’re right that was the ‘bogus’ Hopeless. The real hopeless wants to come over to your house and listen to Journey, Air Supply, and Chicago and play suck-and-blow with you with a razor-blade.

  31. hopeless_screenwriter

    @77 You’re right that was the ‘bogus’ Hopeless. The real hopeless wants to come over to your house and listen to Journey, Air Supply, and Chicago and play suck-and-blow with you with a razor-blade.

  32. che1964

    #25 I guess you must have a hairy ass crack…
    And no, it does not refect my age ;)

  33. che1964

    #25 I guess you must have a hairy ass crack…
    And no, it does not refect my age ;)

  34. che1964

    But my spelling does, argh!!! reflect,reflect..

  35. She must have to keep a terrifc sense of humor most of the time. I figure once in a while when you feel like giving a swift round house to the face of someone blinding you with flashes as they take your picture on a bad hair day you are entitled to be a bit grumpy.

    Perhaps some sex jokes to lighten the mood?

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-jokes.htm

  36. francesfarmer

    @ 79 Hopeless: LOL!! Journey, air supply, awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!! I hope she doesn’t think the song “open arms” is a reference to the gang bang on the Brinkely thread. Thanks for making up for the shitty threads yesterday

  37. LilRach

    She is the most cutest little thing eva!

  38. hopeless_screenwriter

    #57. I should impersonate you more often, you could use the help, fucktard. But, I’m too busy to cover for you. Meh.

    #77, 81. The “real” hopeless is too busy giving deep throating lessons to PapaHotNuts, listening to Cher, and experimenting with hot wax and nipple stapling.

    #76. STFU, fucking lametard! Don’t make me break out the cheese grater again, ass munch!

  39. BarbadoSlim

    HAHAHAHA..girlfriend looks like she’s gonna bust some ass.

    I like it.

  40. Natalie has always confused me. She’s both weird looking and sexy at the same time. I see one pic, and she’s hot. I see another, and she looks like a cracked out Winona Ryder.

  41. BarbadoSlim

    Pssssssst..@78..bitch shold not be allowed to get away with her turtle-bucket sweater.

    I don’t care if she’s doin’ the tango down in the Pampas.

  42. Iambananas

    THE
    BANANA
    IS
    BACK

    FOR
    ALL
    YOU
    NEWBIES
    JANES EYRE
    IS
    SLUM
    .

    REMEMBER
    WHEN
    YOU
    WERN’T
    FAMOUS
    NATALIE?

    NataLIE.

  43. I guess the SNL gangsta rap gave her a taste of being angry…

  44. ValeWolf

    She looks like a maniac.

    I love it how one day out of the blue they just freak out like that. I mean they take it every day of the year but there’s always one day when they just go nuts and start hitting people even if they are standing a fair ammount of feet away from them.

  45. datter

    She doesn’t look anger *at all*. More “after the jump”

    -
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    -

    Stop saying “after the jump”… seriously. It’s annoying, and should be embarrassing for you if you’d just think about it for a moment. This is a blog, it’s NOT “big media”… stop trying to go backwards.

  46. BarbadoSlim

    Boy, you ain’t gonna drop this “after the jump jump” thing anytime soon are ya’? :)

  47. diamondprynzez

    as tempting as it is…

    don’t feed the troll.

  48. jane's eyre

    People who put big line breaks in their posts are attention whores. *cough lamebananas! *cough* herbiefrog! *cough* datter! *cough cough*
    Somebody have a Riiiiicolaaaaa?

  49. bunnyhugger

    why is she running like steve austin?
    as in the slo mo action scenes in “six million dollar man”?

  50. bunnyhugger

    OFF TOPIC OFF TOPIC

    hey, any fellow dorks/nerds, etc.

    jimmy doohan’s ashes are heading for space in october.
    just saw that on the news.
    bon voyage, scotty.

    go ahead, rip me a new one. it’s more interesting than most of today’s posts.

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