Natalie Portman caught with Sean Penn

March 25th, 2009 // 90 Comments

In the biggest liberal conspiracy since the discovery of science, Sean Penn was recently caught making out with Natalie Portman at the Sunset Towers Hotel, according to Star:

“They went to a bank of elevators that only goes to the spa or to private rooms,” an eyewitness tells Star. “They came back about 45 minutes later, and that’s when I saw them making out.”
“There’s a door outside of the hotel’s Tower Bar that has a bridge to the terrace, so it’s semi-private,” the eyewitness explains. “I used that path to get to the restroom, and when I came back, I had to go through some curtains — and that’s when I interrupted Sean and Natalie! When they saw me, they were startled and quickly composed themselves.”

Here’s where I have to question Sean Penn’s manhood: If someone catches you making out with Natalie Portman, you don’t stop EVER. I don’t care if it’s Robin Wright Penn wielding a chainsaw, you keep going, dammit. God knows I would. Padme? — Er, Natalie?

Photos: Getty

  1. She’s a slut. It’s known.

    And she goes for douche bags.

    Still hot though, on the days she doesn’t look too jewish.

  2. His Huge Greatness Himself

    The only thing what’s missing there is an astonishing diamant necklet!

  3. RichPort's Ghost

    Maybe there’s hope for a smelly, flabby, bald douchebag like myself after all…..

  4. OfCourseNoPictures

    Of course there are no pictures from this tryst. Because the lying SOB who reported this hook up wants to protect the innocent. Just like the superficial website: They never post complete bullshit.

  5. Darth

    Her neck is too fragile and petit to carry the Koh-I-Noor!

  6. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Oh well,then i make from these paperclips a nice necklet and i fix a christmas ball to it to make it complete!

  7. Darth

    How about a christmas bell? It will be helpful to locate her all the time!

  8. Sauron

    She looks hawt! And i know all about hawt! Is she wearing a wedding dress!?

  9. Gruby

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  10. Mugato

    If you win an Oscar or have your name above the title, go for the hottest Jew girl you can find, no matter how much younger they are. Just for Chrissakes, don’t marry them.

  11. Ugh

    Ugh – highly overrated looks that have no chance of lasting much longer + totally overhyped acting ability that is bland at best + gets around = Winona Ryder

  12. She smelled his penis already?
    ………….GUESS NOT, folks!!

  13. him

    Such an ugly smile

  14. Valkyrie



    who cares if she ‘gets around’? So do a lot of the men in Hollywood. This double standard is idiotic.

  15. deeznutz

    She hasn’t been hot since ” The Professional” They’re both Liberal douchebags! I hope they like how their purple lipped president is doing! That’s not racist….he has purple lips. Call a spade a spade…oops, not the best saying to use.

  16. fuhdat

    @ 9

    She dated Gael García and Devendra Banhart who are a couple of hotties!

  17. This can only further help to prove the power of hypnotism to all disbelievers.

  18. Too gross for words. What next, one of the Jonas brothers and Oprah?

  19. Rhialto


  20. K.P.

    Have you been to Natalie Portman’s website. Its listed as being in BETA!!!!!!! How can a site that is essentially photos and a shot bio ever be considered to be in BETA!!!!

  21. AMO

    Is anyone else disturbed by her eyebrows? They should not go past where her eye stops and they do, about an inch… Weird.

  22. Seriously, this chick makes Keira Knightly look busty…

  23. Bill Ford

    I think it’s not true…hard to picture

  24. John

    “All I need is cool buds, tasty waves, Natalie Portman, and I’m fine!”

  25. v tard

    That’s just….disgusting.

    It’s her life but…still…ewww.

  26. v tard

    That’s just….disgusting.

    It’s her life but…still…ewww.

  27. what

    black nail polish with a pink evening gown? moron.

  28. Courtyardpigeon

    My God she’s stunning.

  29. barry

    Natalie made out with an idiot like Shawn Penn? I just lost all respect for her. Shawn is a loser who only gets the left wing wackos to vote for him for the Oscars. He is a decent actor but that doesnt make him a good or smart person. Natalie is smoking hot and seemed like such a nice girl. What a waste.

  30. Matrim


    So he’s married, that hasn’t stopped any number of the MILLIONS of people (men and women) from cheating on their spouses.

    I like Penn’s acting, but he seems like a jerk-wad IRL…but I have little opinion about this. So Natalie Portman might have made out with him. Can any of you (those that actually have made out with someone) say you haven’t made out with someone that you later regret?

  31. belowitall

    what a sad little girl that natalie portman is. her level of functioning is as big as her stature. poor robin wright………..

  32. joanna38

    I know that they are making a movie together. She has a boyfriend, what is she doing making out with Penn….WHO… BTW…. just recently got back with Robyn. What IS his problem? Middle age fright or men-O-pause? While this is all a mess, if at all true, I have this to say. Blame not only the male ho, but also the single ho’s who know these men are married and still go after them. Once married you are no longer public Ho material.

  33. gaetano

    sean penn is a pigion toed ugly nerd. Any one could tell that when he was in his teens, hes the guy with no dates.He has no personality,no looks,no charm,no nothing.I think his brother Chris was great,with everthing sean doesn`t have.We in tx. do not know how this piece of shit every became a star.He is the garbage can of California.

  34. arroyo

    People! There is one simple explanation for Sean and Natalie to get together – they’re both in the same income bracket.

  35. Cook

    I hear Steve Buscemi might have a shot next. That would be trading up, actually.

    … Devil’s Threesome?

  36. NOYB

    She’s a typical GEMINI, SLUT!!! Geminis have no concept of being faithful to ANYONE! And give me a break with all this “She’s so talented and beautiful” CRAP!! Without makeup she’s a skinny ass waif and what the hell has she done recently that’s oscar worthy?? She’s FORGETABLE!!! Rachel McAdams is SOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER!!! She’s got curves and getting all the hot roles now-a-days!

  37. NoCommunist


  38. Steve

    What really happened was that they had a threesome with Hugo Chavez. Penn took Chavez up the bunghole.

  39. Man, what a hooker Sean Penn, that dude is really to get around ratfaced. Better smarten up his wife, divorced her skinny ass and cleaners take unfair. As Natalie Portman, she is no fault in my book, although it homo to that ugly to kiss him what questions does the subject can bring.

  40. perry c

    natalie portman is a slut, and not a good actress (unless making fake innocent faces and ridiculous i’m naive chuckles count as acting). im sick of the hollywood obsessed culture here in america. she’s a slut with no real acting skill. period. oh, no!


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