Natalie Portman caught with Sean Penn
In the biggest liberal conspiracy since the discovery of science, Sean Penn was recently caught making out with Natalie Portman at the Sunset Towers Hotel, according to Star:
“They went to a bank of elevators that only goes to the spa or to private rooms,” an eyewitness tells Star. “They came back about 45 minutes later, and that’s when I saw them making out.”
“There’s a door outside of the hotel’s Tower Bar that has a bridge to the terrace, so it’s semi-private,” the eyewitness explains. “I used that path to get to the restroom, and when I came back, I had to go through some curtains — and that’s when I interrupted Sean and Natalie! When they saw me, they were startled and quickly composed themselves.”
Here’s where I have to question Sean Penn’s manhood: If someone catches you making out with Natalie Portman, you don’t stop EVER. I don’t care if it’s Robin Wright Penn wielding a chainsaw, you keep going, dammit. God knows I would. Padme? — Er, Natalie?