In the biggest liberal conspiracy since the discovery of science, Sean Penn was recently caught making out with Natalie Portman at the Sunset Towers Hotel, according to Star:
“They went to a bank of elevators that only goes to the spa or to private rooms,” an eyewitness tells Star. “They came back about 45 minutes later, and that’s when I saw them making out.”
“There’s a door outside of the hotel’s Tower Bar that has a bridge to the terrace, so it’s semi-private,” the eyewitness explains. “I used that path to get to the restroom, and when I came back, I had to go through some curtains — and that’s when I interrupted Sean and Natalie! When they saw me, they were startled and quickly composed themselves.”
Here’s where I have to question Sean Penn’s manhood: If someone catches you making out with Natalie Portman, you don’t stop EVER. I don’t care if it’s Robin Wright Penn wielding a chainsaw, you keep going, dammit. God knows I would. Padme? — Er, Natalie?