Natalie Portman can learn from Paris Hilton? Ouch

February 14th, 2008 // 153 Comments

Paris Hilton could teach Natalie Portman a thing or two about launching a shoe line. While Paris actually pressed the flesh and possibly infected a small child, Natalie Portman decided to play diva at her own shoe launch by showing up 45 minutes late, according to Page Six:

She gave 15 minutes of interviews before going back into hiding. Guests waited impatiently while sipping on Casa Lapostolle wines, which Portman chose because they are organic and biodynamic to go along with her vegan shoe line. The actress returned, reports a spy, “However, she showed up with only five minutes remaining before the party ended.”

Vegan shoe line? Are they made of tofu? Please. I don’t need hippie/diva Natalie Portman telling me what kind of shoes to wear. If I want to tie a pork chop to each of my feet, that’s my right to look rugged and awesome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the butcher shop for some mutton loafers. I’ve got a hot date tonight and I want to look fancy as hell, son.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Genius

    How does my use of words lead you to believe that I am “gay”?
    And what would my being gay have to do with Natalie Portman and her vegan shoes?

  2. Genius

    Please explain to me how I am a dunce.
    I must be one serious dunce as I honestly did not know that I was one, but, apparently am one as you have so wonderfully pointed out.

  3. 99 responds to 101

    Uh…..nothing. You’re gay. Based on writing like a fag. fuck Portman and her shoes.

  4. Auntie Kryst


    Ok I don’t give a fuck about this back and forth about eating or not eating meat, but WTF? I mean Genius seriously, WTF? Take a look in the mirror and look at your teeth. Your dentition is designed for biting, cutting, and chewing flesh. If you choose not to eat meat, go ahead I don’t give a shit. Just make a correct statement.

  5. Genius

    Well, in fact, I am not gay. I am panromantic, however.
    I did not know that “fags” have a special way of writing.
    It is fine if you do not like Natalie or her shoes, but then, really, there is not much point on bothering to read comments as to herself and her shoes. Unless you were just here to look for gay people based on their writing, which, you know, is cool and completely fine with me.

  6. more from 99

    “cyan, yellow and magenta”? Dude. Magenta? I don’t even know what that is! Just the fact that you describe the sneakers so vividly sets off alarms.

    Plants with roots? What the fuck? You only eat fungi? ‘shrooms.

    Oh shit. ‘Shrooms. That makes a lot of sense.

  7. Genius

    If you do not care about it, why get involved in it?
    Other people obviously care, which is why they are here.
    People are not going to stop simply because you, yourself do not like it.

    I could say the same to you, about making a correct statement.
    My statements were completely correct.
    Allow me to elaborate: you do in fact need teeth to eat a full variety of plants.
    Gorillas just so happen to have large canines, and, in fact, do not eat meat aside from insects. Pretty interesting, huh? Learn something new every day. Now how about taking a look at your digestion tract and tell me how well it is to eating meat.

  8. Genius

    It’s pretty sad that you do not know what magenta is. I only say sad, because, personally, I love colors. Are you color-blind by any chance? Or did the amazing schools of my wonderful country fail to give you art instruction?

    Alarms? Well, I happen to like clothing. I mean, after all, this whole Natalie Portman thing IS in fact about shoes, you know.

    All plants have roots. What I meant was that, eating potato, carrots and such is killing the plant itself. Some people say it is hypocritical to not eat animals if your reason is to not kill them, but to kill plants. It is, however, possible to avoid killing plants and yet eat them.

    I do not eat much fungi. I hate mushrooms, actually.

  9. Hey Genius!

    Hey genius. Caught you. Gorillas and chimps occassionally eat meat. they just have a hard time catching it. Plants are easier. Look it up. You seem like a nice kid. Just try to investigate a little more. got nothin’ but love for your philosophy though.

  10. Genius

    Hm, I’ve never heard that.
    Is it true with all gorillas and such?
    Or do they just eat it because they kill it and figure they might as well after feeling threatened by said animal?

    You know, it can be hard for lions and such to catch meat, it takes a lot of work, and yet, they still eat it.

  11. 110

    Don’t know why they eat it. They just do. Just sayin’. Who knows?

  12. Genius

    Ah, well.
    There’s still other animals that do not eat meat, it was just a quick example based off the fact that they do not hunt. But it seems strange that it would be hard for them to catch it, since some can move pretty fast.
    It doesn’t bother me, the fact that some people and some animals eat meat.
    I just don’t like the way it’s gone about, personally prefer a healthier lifestyle and disliking meat.
    But it deeply bothers me how unaware people are of all of the things that have been brought up right here on this page.

  13. Genius

    Somehow your comment slipped past me!

    Do you know much about our digestive tract?
    And do you know that animals killed in the wild can have all sorts of diseases?

    Perhaps I’m NOT the idiot.

  14. imsomaturethatipoopedmypants

    i’m not vegan, but seriously – literally hating someone because of what they eat? the world really is fucking off its head

    #13 – very good point!

  15. imsomatureipoopedmypants

    my point wasn’t clear (not that anyone should care but someone will nitpick it no doubt) – i was sticking up for the vegans.
    (the ones that don’t preach, and there are plenty that don’t preach. so stop with the pathetic generalisations)

  16. Genius

    You know, it really is pretty messed up. But, that’s how people are. Go figure.
    They like to find any reason they can to hate someone. To hate differences and form their little groups so they can be a part of something. Insecurity seems to contribute a lot to this.

    (and #13)
    Animal prints are pretty stylish. And they are a way of showing love for the beauty of animals, without harming them. =P

  17. Jennifer

    She was said to have a personal account on ‘BillionaireCupid dot com’ club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.

  18. Ms. Whiplash

    Genius, I’m intrigued. What does panromantic mean? No insult or disrespect, I’ve just never heard that word before, can’t even find a definition anywhere. Maybe I’m one too, can’t wait to find out!

  19. That Girl

    I predict that one day, the killing of those poor defenseless veggies will stop and that vegans will be reduced to eating dirt so as to stop the senseless slaughter of innocent turnips, lettuce heads and the like.

    I plan to join them, I can’t stand hearing an onion scream……

  20. graciiie

    haha! people are so damn volatile on this whole “comment” shit. Lee, or #90, or Genius, or whatever was just speaking what was on their mind. who really cares if you agree or disagree? i think people only make themselves look like completely idiots when they try to diss others (i.e., #90) by calling them “gay” or “faggots”. haha! how dumb.

    natalie portman is cute.
    her vegan shoes MAY suck, but who cares? you don’t HAVE to buy them.

  21. Genius


    As in Pan- standing for being able to fall in love with a person regardless of their sex or gender, but for who they really are:

    And -romantic, instead of -sexual standing for asexuality:

  22. Ms. Whiplash

    Thanks, Genius, for clearing that up. Does it mean you can be in a romantic relationship, with a male or a female, but be celibate?

  23. Mels

    It just seems sad that a post about something good — a celebrity creating shoes without using animal products — became a bashing of her personal ethics. Who cares if she chooses to abstain from animal flesh and byproducts? More power to her for having the means — her celebrity — to accomplish something she believes in. I just bought vegan boots and they rock. I’m not vegan; I enjoyed my burger two hours ago. But I haven’t seen Ms. Portman denouncing our beliefs, so let’s leave hers alone and hopefully enjoy some cute shoes.

  24. Ms. Whiplash

    Nah, on second thought, that’s probably way too simplistic of an idea, and yet also way too complicated. I usually just call it a non-sexual crush, like the one I have on Reese Witherspoon. (I love her style and her un-Hollywood attitude) I think that phrase comes from an episode of Seinfeld.

  25. Weakner

    really, a vegan footwear line? she is hot as all hell but one nutty fuggin jew.

  26. Natalie Poormans Audrey Hepburn

    Adding to #70. The only reason people are vegans is because they feel guilt about the cruel way that animals are treated so instead of really doing anything to stop it they just don’t eat animals and that way they can burry their guilt and not feel connected to the vulgarity. Just like when someone gives a homeless person some change, it’s not for the homeless person, it’s for you, you are paying 2 bucks to get that image out of your mind so that you can go back to your home and not feel guilty that you don’t live on the street.

    The argument for vegetarianism is mainly that animal are brutally slaughtered and people find that cruel so they choose not to eat that meat because they consider that as participation in the cruelty. But we all participate in things that are connected to cruelty. The clothing that you own, the jewellery you wear, vegetables that you eat; in each case and infinitely more employees are treated disgustingly so that those things can be produced and they are paid salaries that no one can live on. The medication that has cured you or that you require to live was discovered by testing it on unfortunate animals. Your make up is tested on animals. The airplane you travel in emits dangerous pollution. The country you live in has attacked another country and you pay taxes to the government which allows it to do its bidding. So every proud boisterous vegan is a hypocrite. We all buy, use and are a part of something that has been touched by immense cruelty. So as you brag about being vegan try to explain why that sapphire ring you have was worth a South African with a family to care for being paid barely enough to put food on the table and why he should have lost his life mining fucking jewels for spoilt brats. Also explain your moral superiority to people who spend their lives working for mining causes. The thing is you’ll never accomplish anything in this world if your solution to just not consume or purchase things that are made, produced or garnered in a cruel manner. You also can’t defend your ethics if they are completely contradicted by other things you do choose to consume. In the end abstaining isn’t accomplishing much and the only people you are punishing is the little people. Who do you think big companies fire when they loose business or loose a lawsuit? They fire the little people who just need a job to make ends meet who aren’t parts of some big maniacal evil selfish plot to make money no matter what the cost knowing the cruelty they inflict, it’s just everyday people who are trying to care for themselves and their families.

    I refuse to be held responsible for other peoples actions if I did I would never be able to do anything because anything I touched at some point came in contact with cruelty. I simply choose to live my life and instead of wasting time making sure that everything I eat or wear is cruelty free I am going to work for causes that I believe in and actually do something a little more productive than just avoiding the guilty by association consumer bullshit.

    Also as a person with a medical background I and the many doctors I know firmly agree that a vegan lifestyle does not provide adequate nutrition. So you can argue that all you like but, there is no final, unlike the world being round, it’s all still under debate so you cannot win that argument as long as people far more educated than you say otherwise.

    You’ll find in this world that those who actually do something productive rather than simply attempt to disassociate themselves with everything they think is negative (which again is impossible) lead far more moral lives and contribute far more to the betterment of society. If your only reason for being vegan is cruelty than you have a lot of explaining to do to all the people who are treated inhumanely making other products you use on a daily basis. Also you should consider giving your home to the natives that really own the land it’s built on.

    No truly intelligent person behaves and moralizes based solely on emotion, that’s the mentality of a child and if you did so you would live in a field, naked eating nothing but dirt and spending all your time making sure that when you walked you never squished a bug or a worm and then you would die of malnourishment, pretentious bullshit and immense uselessness. Or instead you can choose to get the fuck over yourself realize that there are many things you can’t control and focus your energy on living a life that REALLY helps rather than one that just absolves you of guilt.

  27. Auntie Kryst

    @126 You stupid cunt. I have no fucking clue what you typed. I just see there is a lot of it. I normally look forward to seeing twat comments during my morning coffee. tonight I have to come home from a bender and see that fucking screed. Fuck all, if that is not some gay ass english twat writing that shit, I’ll be damd. Fuckhead.

  28. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    #113? ‘Genius’, you are a great example of a white, semi-educated slothful American — you argue a point even when you have no real information, nor real truth, and are wrong — Do you have any basis for you allegations? Of course you don’t. I’d like to see where you get that bullshit hippy information from: people aren’t designed to eat meat. Right.

    My point was not that animals that are killed by predators in the wild, are save from disease, that’s preposterous. A lion isn’t going to contract cancer, or whatever other inherent disease an animal may possess. Those illnesses aren’t communicable. Slaughterhouses, on the other hand, are virtual drive-in movies for the breeding of bacteria. This is because the meat comes in contact with the air for extended periods of time — and we all know, you especially, ‘genius’, that air aids in the development of bacteria.

    Further, meat contaminated with bacteria after being butchered is not the same as a living animal that is infected by illness. You, being the ‘genius’ that you are, genius, should know this information, genius; you twisted my words, cunt.

    P.S. You’re an idiot.

  29. kiky2008

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  30. Natalie Poormans Audrey Hepburn/logic

    “if any of you whiny illiterate bastards want to complain about the length of my post don’t waste your time I know what you are going to say and here is my response. This was not for you it was for me. Like a giant shit I had to release after too much chilly I needed to get this crap out of my system. My entire goal was to relieve myself and hopefully offend some pussy babies with the unpleasant and pungent odor of truth. So take a whiff and fuck off.” I’ve said it many times for eg @70

    When I come here I get to let out all my frustratiions like a big pile of butt porridge so of course I feel great and then on top of it I get to annoy little high strung whiners? Thank you cunts. It’s just too easy pissing some of you off.

  31. Natalie Poormans Audrey Hepburn/logic

    #129. Funniest post of all.

  32. Kelly W.

    #125 summed up the caliber of most of the people who decided to attack everyone on the website. May I remind everyone that it was the ignorant and mean spirited ones who started attacking personal beliefs. Those same people went on to call people “fags,” “nutty fuggin jews,” and various other disgusting names. I am so glad I will never have uneducated low lifes like that in my circle of friends (yes a lot of them eat meat and they respect my beliefs and vice versa). Of course as you can see from this board most of the idiots who decided to resort to childish name calling from the beggining are probably

    A.) Not married
    B.) Think they have a shot at dating the images on this website.
    C.) Haven’t had a date since 1991 (at least)
    D.) Spent all day thinking up the clever quips.

    Basically I am sorry I ever came to see if people had intelligent things to say. The fact that you could say such horrible things from seeing an article on a very intelligent woman makes me sad, but happy that your type of ignorance will lead to eventual oblivion. Your ignorance will eventually die out! I hope you find peace and let go of all of your hatred.

  33. D. Richards (Homeless.)

    #132? Fuck you, you ‘Nutty Fuggin’ jew’ vegan lezzie (fag).

  34. Genius

    You can be in a romantic relationship without minding whether the person is male, female, trans, or genderqueer, and rather caring for the actual person themselves.
    You can be celibate, just not have sex for reasons non-religious, but then again some do, but usually only if they are in a relationship with someone who isn’t asexual (-romantic).

  35. Genius

    You’re a tad bit EXTREMELY close-minded. Not everyone is like you.
    I definitely do not fit into what you have written.
    Sorry you wasted your time on that.

  36. Genius


    I’m black, educated and certainly not slothful.
    Glad to break your stereotypes.

    All I have said are truthfully based off of scientific facts. You’d know that if you bothered to look up this information rather than name call and go about this like a child.
    Let me help you comprehend all of this: it’s scientifically proven that exercise is good for you. Many people do not exercise, despite the information relating to it’s many benefits. It’s the same with being veg. – there’s plenty of information to support it, but people just don’t do it. There is no other reason, it’s not bad for you, it’s not wrong, it’s not lame, or whatever. It’s just that. Have you finally been enlightened? Can you now grow up?

    Of course not, but there’s a hell of a lot more than cancer out there, and that which can actually be bad for you. I’m not even sure why you brought that up. It’s kind of like you are trying to get away from the subject for some odd reason, I wonder why that could be.
    You said to kill a mammoth with a spear – that’s not a lion, that’s not a slaughterhouse. That’s a person hunting. Those animals that person kills can have diseases. And on that point – hunting is sure a hell of a lot better than factory farming and slaughterhouses and all of that. And of course at the slaughterhouse there’s going to be a lot more bacteria. What does that have to do with anything? You are merely supporting a vegetarian way of life.

    P.S. Your silly words mean nothing to me.

  37. tc

    Genius, you are not.

    It is a fact – definite and indisputable that humans were designed to eat meat.

    Perhaps you have eyes on the sides of your head, rather than the front, or perhaps your body cooling system works through panting rather than sweating, or maybe your digestive system won’t process raw meat, and your teeth won’t tear flesh. Perhaps it is untrue that your exceptional ability to communicate with other human beings means that you could take down an elephant or a whale. In every way, you are more a predator than prey.

    You are in denial. Accept the fact that you are an incredibly efficient hunter and killer.

  38. Genius

    Incredibly efficient hunter? Yes, with a weapon. Killer? No, I am not.

    It is not definite that humans were designed to eat meat. I seriously suggest you read up on this matter as I have, as to not be ignorant on the subject if you wish to speak about it.

  39. Genius

    Incredibly efficient hunter? Yes, with a weapon. Killer? No, I am not.

    It is not definite that humans were designed to eat meat – or dairy, at least from other species. I seriously suggest you read up on this matter as I have, as to not be ignorant on the subject if you wish to speak about it.

  40. #13: You’re right. some Vegan she is, with the animal prints. most vegans wont wear anything resembling animal, even if its blatantly not made of animal products.

    and im sorry but most vegans ARE self centered divas. vegetarians, however, are cool mofos.

  41. michelle

    FUCK U, SHE RULES. go back to making fun(and beating off to) sluts with no point. You know noting about the reality of the cruel world she is countering.

    Boycotting this site! U SUCK.

  42. Genius


    You obviously do not know many vegans.
    Please open your mind and stop stereotyping.
    Obviously I could say most carnivores are assholes. At least I have some proof right here. But I know it isn’t true because it just can’t be. You can’t base the word off of one person you might have known.

  43. Oh my GOD

    Oh my god.. Genius are you that bored with your life, that you have to spend every second arguing your point? Seriously I enjoy reading this sites comments for the sarcasm and humor and your definitely ruining it.. GO TO BED OR SOMETHING

  44. Genius


    No, I’m just bored now and then, actually.
    I do graphic design and illustration on the computer.
    Therefore, I use the computer quite a bit.
    If I have a minute to spare or am suffering from ‘artists-block’ I’ll come check this and several other sites out. Is that such a crime? I think not.

    I’m sorry that I am ruining your life. But that isn’t my fault and I will not stop for you, you don’t need to read every single comment, you do not need to enjoy every comment. It would be nice if you and others like you would come down off your imaginary pedestals.

    Go to bed in the middle of the day? I think not. I will do as I please, and you will do as you please, but it would be kind of you to not tell others what to do. If you think that going to bed in the middle of the day is such a fine idea, by all means, go right ahead.

  45. d.lee

    i’m proud of natalie for being vegan and having sympathy and love for animals. i admire her. i did like this blog as it is really funny at times. but there is no need to bash someone for being vegan and knowing that animals have rights too and don’t deserve to be mistreated by humans. i’ll rethink going on the superficial site, and use that time to do something useful. to all the negative posts about natalie’s line of vegan shoes-take her lead and do something productive that you enjoy, and it doesn’t hurt if it also might benefit someone besides yourself-animals, charity. etc.

  46. me

    I stopped eating meat over a year ago, after a biology propfessor of mine stated that meat putrifies in the body for about three days. Not many people know that about me. Who would have thought that I would be able to give up bacon cheeseburgers. I actually feel much better now ever since I cut meat out of my diet.
    Here are some things I have noticed after I cut out meat…I don’t deal with “digestive problems” that much now(a few years ago)..I feel more energetic, the postnasal drip is gone and my breath is not that bad in the mornings(yes..i brush and floss twice a day). There is also that saying “You are what you eat.” Apparently you smell better too….if you cut meat and possibly dairy products out. ; )

    In an economics class I took, I learned about all the usual stuff regarding the meat industry……how all those extra cows contributes to global warming, how most crops and tons of water are used to feed the cows, and how all that extra food and water can be used to feed many hungry people through out the world …rather than feeding cows to keep the beef addicts happy. Oh and about malnutrition..vegetarians deal with that if their diet consists of too much “junk food” but a plant based diet is the best. There have also been studies conducted about osteoporosis and dairy products….there are lower rates of osteporisis in countres where people don’t consume that much dairy products. It’s all propaganda.

    Also….someone mentioned tha thumans are not designed to consume meat. That person did mention how are teeth are designed. There are other things to wonder about like… how we lack certain acids in our stomach to digest meat …which true carnivores have. We also can’t eat raw meat the way true carnivores/omnivores do……they kill and eat; whereas, we have to dismember…cook….and season dead animals before we eat them. Our digestive tracts are are much longer than carnivores, which is why it takes much longer to get all that stuff out of your systems. I mean there really are many vaiid points that vegans/vegetarians can come up with…and back up with evidence. We try to seek them out…or we cn take the the time to actually find scholarly articles to read regarding the issue…and try to be unbiased.

    People mention that animals eat other animals……..not all animals eat other animals….and we start messing with the food chain when we get into mass production and artificially inseminating cows…etc.

    I don’t blame Jesse for not wanting to argue with people that resort to name calling /insulting rather than engage in a civilized debate.

    Animals treat each other better than how humans treat other humans/animals…..and humans have the ability to reason. hmm

  47. me

    The articles, “Animal Liberation”, by Peter Singer, and “A Modest Proposal”(a sattire),by Jonathon Swift are good. Both of them can be found in a book called “Current Issues and Enduring Questions” By Sylvia Bartnet and Hugo Bedau.

    oh and logic….I swear….you have a twin in New England. The person has the same mentality as you do and he that is very similiar to yours. All this time I thought he was one of a kind.

  48. me

    “writing style that is very similar to yours

  49. Jamile

    I don’t get where people are getting the whole “she looks uncomfortable” thing? I feel just the opposite, every time I see her pose for pics she looks very practiced and calculated to me. I think Portman really eats the attention up just as much as any other attention-whore celeb, she’s just got her whole “reluctant superstar” schtick to uphold.

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