Natalie Portman can learn from Paris Hilton? Ouch

February 14th, 2008 // 153 Comments

Paris Hilton could teach Natalie Portman a thing or two about launching a shoe line. While Paris actually pressed the flesh and possibly infected a small child, Natalie Portman decided to play diva at her own shoe launch by showing up 45 minutes late, according to Page Six:

She gave 15 minutes of interviews before going back into hiding. Guests waited impatiently while sipping on Casa Lapostolle wines, which Portman chose because they are organic and biodynamic to go along with her vegan shoe line. The actress returned, reports a spy, “However, she showed up with only five minutes remaining before the party ended.”

Vegan shoe line? Are they made of tofu? Please. I don’t need hippie/diva Natalie Portman telling me what kind of shoes to wear. If I want to tie a pork chop to each of my feet, that’s my right to look rugged and awesome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the butcher shop for some mutton loafers. I’ve got a hot date tonight and I want to look fancy as hell, son.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. lipper

    ….so wearing some man made synthetic shit is ok? Hey PETA, what about our environment you heartless bitches!! What about the Earth?? *sobs*

    Seriously, what are those shoes made out of then? Anyone? And I think those shoes are boring as Natalie. Boo!!

  2. cmb

    Eating meat is good for your bones? It increases the acidity of the blood, which in turn is bad for your bones. Calcium is necessary for bone health and there many sources of it. Plants do not have a central nervous system, but surely you know that.

    Being a vegan can sometimes lead to vitamin B12 deficiency. This is why it’s so much easier to become a vegetarian. What is all this talk about malnourishment when it’s over-nourishment that is the real problem in this country. And even if you’re not concerned with the ethics, go watch some slaughterhouse videos and see how healthy your diet is.

  3. Rat

    George Washington Carver made a car out of soybeans in 1928.

  4. @52

    52. It’s not just your central nervous system. I would get into cell reproduction comparisons between plants and animals. Also the stressfull effects of environment and tone on plant life, but it’s too vast. Take a biology class. Look at some slides and get back to us.

  5. pan80

    See how defensive guilt-ridden meat eaters can get?

  6. Monica

    casa lapostolle?
    nice chilean wine

  7. logic

    Animals eat other animals fuckfaces. It’s pretty arrogant to take on nature.

  8. Captain Beyond

    I guess vegans don’t believe in oral sex since they don’t eat anything with a face. That might explain why they’re spitters too. I guess the little swimmers just freak them out.

  9. amma

    #15, I totally agree & you are hysterical! I’m not vegan but it’s probably a healthy lifestyle. Just not for me. Unfortunately I’ve found a lot of vegans {I live in a city where vegans are a-plenty} to be self-righteous, annoying and unaware of the cycle of life whereby EVERYTHING we eat, every meal, is at the expense of some other creature. It’s called being in the food chain. I’m glad Natalie is making a shoe for them–I’m very live and let live. But I wish she would make a %#*damn decent movie again once in her life instead of looking crazy. Check out “The Professional” to know what I’m talking about.

  10. Jesse

    #37 you say every vegan you’ve ever met throws it in everyone’s faces. However, that only accounts for the people that are loud about being vegan. It’s possible that you pass 100 vegans on the street every day, but you would never know they were vegan because they don’t advertise it. If you’re upset that vegans stereotype meat-eaters, why then do you sink to our level and resort the same stereotyping behavior? Not every Christian is a bigot, not every Muslim is a terrorist, not ever black person loves fried chicken, not every white is a bad dancer….. likewise not every vegan is a complete jerk about there eating habits. I’m why this has to explained, it’s not really that complicated.

  11. amma

    …that being said, I love me some Jimmy Choo! But ya’ know, I’d like to see animals treated humanely too, I’m all for supporting that. Being vegetarian {not vegan} or not having a steak for dinner every night can totally help the planet. Just sayin…

  12. D. Richards (Literal.)

    You people are so goddamn serious; every time I say something there’s a couple of people that respond by combating my sarcasm with truth: I call those people assholes.

    And, #44? Beef comes from the same animal as bovine milk, right? Right. I rest my case (penis).

    And plants do have a nervous system. Yeahugh!

  13. Dick Richards (Slob.)

    I meant, #52.

    I’m sorry; It’s just that I’m enjoying a 42oz porterhouse right now. It’s positively orgasmic.

  14. Jesse

    They didn’t say plants don’t have a nervous system, they said a CENTRAL nervous system, which consists of the brain and spinal chord. So, yes plants have a nervous system, no they don’t have a central nervous system.

  15. YourAncestorFrom1890

    Of course you need to eat meat to be healthy. Just like you need to smoke a cigarette after a meal to help with digestion. But if you do get indigestion anyway, be sure to take some Iron Bitters – the best cocaine tonic there is. And don’t forget to give it to your children to make them healthy and strong.

  16. That Girl

    I predict that one day the plight of the hopeless veggies will soon be realized. In order to stop the slaughter of innocent heads of lettuce, turnips and the like, the vegans will go underground and only eat dirt.

  17. Crazy/Beatiful/BringItOn


  18. Cap'n Pickles

    Jesse? Are you vegan or vegetarian. You allude to both. Make up your mind.

  19. Burungi

    Natalie Portman does all sorts of good charity work and doesn’t need to get tons of attention for it (alla Jolie). She helps out with the Dian Fossey foundation in Rwanda which helps save the last 600+ Mountain Gorillas ON EARTH (as opposed to what, 6 BILLION people?), she works with women’s groups in Uganda (I saw her there shopping at a crafts market) and she has a Vegan shoe line that doesn’t destroy the earth or exploit people. With all the “could give a crap about anyone but myself” Paris Hiltons out there you’d think people would give Natalie a little credit. But no, just because she makes you feel a wee bit guilty (unintentionally because it’s your issue) about scarfing down animal chunks, you have to rip on her. It’s so dumb. It’s like, who DO you look up to, Britney Spears?

  20. logic

    Could all you vegans and vegetarians please go watch some fucking animal planet and familiarize yourself with the carnivorous reality of this world. Maybe if this was YOUR planet that followed YOUR rules we would all live on pixie dust but, that is not the way it works on planet earth. Widespread vegetarianism or veganism and animal (not a word I guess) would be an economic disaster (think of all the jobs and industries dependant on animals and animal byproducts), it would put huge strains on agriculture, I guess we’d have to forget about curing any illnesses, the scientific community would be in serious trouble, not to mention the animal population would be completely out of balance and there would be without a doubt many illnesses and medical conditions caused by malnourishment. Say what you will but vegetarianism is still controversial and many experts do NOT believe it can properly nourish a person. Malnourishment is an actual problem in the world and if ya don’t know that then you may need to travel beyond your own backyard. Yes there are also a lot of fat pigs dying of gluttony but, malnourishment is still a HUGE issue. So even if we got past all those immense problems( I’m not saying we could) and managed to make the world a productive, balanced, and healthy society where all of humankind was vegetarian or vegan ANIMALS WOULD STILL EAT OTHER FUCKING ANIMALS! What is the point of believing in or promoting something that is not possible on a large scale and does not even follow the laws of nature.

    Many people make the choice for ethical reasons but, it’s pretty hypocritical in the end because if you abstained from everything that was created through cruelty you would never eat or buy anything again. In the work force most employees are treated like shit, products are tested on animals (even medication and I’m sure there are some vegan’s out there who need medication), we have child labor and people are paid salaries that NO ONE can live on properly. That is unfortunately the nature of this world. Money overrides ethics and very few things are actually “cruelty free”. If animals are your personal cause, it is more productive to actually help them through organizations like the humane society or conservation/rescue efforts than to think you are changing the world by simply not eating something.

    AND this vain bitch isn’t changing or helping anything but, herself. I would love to now how much the people who make her shoes are paid and how much money she is making from this noble cause (making shoes is so fucking heroic). Even if she does everything ethically she still is a fucking diva poser. Just like every idiot celeb who pretends to give a shit, they are all totally “hollywood” and they still fly home to their mansion, have servants who do everything for them and don’t want us little people anywhere near them, they just want our hard earned money and once in a while they throw crumbs at whatever charity they pretend to give a shit about. They are not people who should ever be admired. “Go see my movie, pay attention to MEEEE, read my interviews where I whine about the pain of being famous and give way to much information about my personal life but, of course, after devoting all that attention to ME you must remember to leave me alone and give me my PRIVACY.”

    If you still want to ignore the FACTS and need some vegetarian/vegan hero to look up to don’t look in Hollywood because they are ALL soulless bastards and you’ll find a far better champion for whatever cause you give a shit in your own town than you ever would in the town of lies and selfish bullshit. Now if you do live in Hollywood then don’t you go worrying about silly little things like values, morals and ethics because you certainly won’t need them out there.

    P.S. I love animals and I hate the cruelty they are subjected to as far as I’m concerned the world could manage quite well without the fur industry, it would not cause a huge disaster and it is vain and pointless cruelty unless you actually live off the land, kill the animal, use the bones to make tools, and wear the fur for warmth. We all know that is not the case with little crack addict devil gargoyles; the Olsens or fat ass ego maniac bitches like Beyonce and J-Lo. Despite the fact that I care very much about animals, I also care a lot about logic and reality and I have chosen my morals accordingly. It actually helps to take the time to think about the entire picture rather than jumping to conclusions based solely on emotions.

    So put that in your hippy pipe and smoke it and if any of you whiny illiterate bastards want to complain about the length of my post don’t waste your time I know what you are going to say and here is my response. This was not for you it was for me. Like a giant shit I had to release after too much chilly I needed to get this crap out of my system. My entire goal was to relieve myself and hopefully offend some pussy babies with the unpleasant and pungent odor of truth. So take a whiff and fuck off.

  21. XOXO

    I was there. She was there for about an hour, not 15 minuted. And it was a 2-hour event, so I think she has the right to show up after it starts and leave before it finishes. The Post writer is just making shit up. Shocker!

  22. Burungi

    #65 Ha! Too funny.

    Also wanted to add that vegans/vegetarians don’t necessarily dislike meat. Humans are naturally omnivores, after all. The problem is factory farming. Animals are subjected to horrific lives in inhumane conditions and even worse deaths. Not to mention the fact that SO much land is degrodated in order to graze livestock and more CO2 is released into the air by farm animals than just about any other source. It goes on and on.

    And just remember next time you’re biting into that tasty steak, you are eating all the pain and suffering that animal went through before he or she died. All that bad karma is going into your system. These are living, breathing, intelligent (pigs are smarter than your pet dog) beings that having emotions and feel pain (and have central nervous systems just like you and I). You are a part of their painful, terrifying existence.

    I can’t live with that so I choose not to eat meat.

  23. burungi

    Plus I won’t be dying of a heart attack like you fat asses :)

  24. Jesse

    Logic, animals that are slaughtered are raised speficily for that purpose, it has nothing to do with wildlife populations, it’s not like cows will be running wild in the city streets. Vegans and vegetarians are only malnurished if they don’t properly balance their diet ( the same goes for meat eaters by the way). You say you’re also concerned about how much strain would be put on agriculture, most crops are used to feed livestock anyways, like 70% of it…. I stopped reading there because all of your “facts” need some checking., they seem more like assumptions than facts.

  25. ethical reality

    #72, #73.burungi Try reading #70.

  26. @72

    Christ! Would you vegan dumbfucks stop using the central nervous system as a definition of what a living being is! Cells are living, dipshits. Plants have those!

    Plus number seventy-three, you ignorant cunt (yeah, you probably are a guy. Only a little pussy would write like that). You may not have a heart attack, even though it’s not garauntee because most heart disease is congenital. DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! News flash! Your still gonna die! All living beings die! Geuss what else dies Einstein? Plants! You fucking veggie murderer!

    God I hate stupid fucks like you! Stop with all the theatre and art and take a fucking science class!

  27. logic

    #74. Honestly you aren’t intelligent enough to understand the facts. Animals eat other animals and the reason you won’t read the rest is because you can’t argue it. You have no arguement for the financial problems, no argument for animals testing for medication, no arguement for all the heinous cruelty that goes into everything else the world produces. You have not taken the time to look at the big picture.

    It’s pretty cruel when lions rip the gazelle apart too. Wake up and face reality.

  28. logic

    P.S. Plenty of animals are hunted in the wild dumbass all you idiots ever talk about is the cruelty on farms.

  29. EuroNeckPain

    Thanks #70, an intelligent post once in a while can’t hurt.

  30. Cap'n Pickles

    Jesse? Could you get off the soapbox and answer my question?

  31. AnonymousCoward


    Please be my valentine.

    Love, AC

  32. Jesse

    I’m not intelligent enough to understand the facts? Well, I’m intelligent enough to attempt to have a civilized discussion with someone without having to resort to childish name calling and unwarranted personal attacks. I can argue the topic nature killing nature, but quite frankly it won’t accomplish anything and I don’t really care to discuss it with someone who conducts themselves in the manner you do. I’m out…….. Oh, and by the way, its spell intelligent with an i, it would really help your case that your more intelligent than me if you could actually spell the word correctly.

  33. Ted Nugent

    Hey all you little pukes! Uncle Ted going to set thing right. You non-meat loving candy asses are pussies. You lazy meat loving fat asses are soft. Go git yourself a compound bow and git your asses out into the woods. Go kill some little tasty deer and eat that litte fucker right on up. His pain is your gain. Tastes really good. Then wear the pelts all you nancies.

  34. Jesse

    I’m not intelligent enough to understand the facts? Well, I’m intelligent enough to attempt to have a civilized discussion with someone without having to resort to childish name calling and unwarranted personal attacks. I can argue all the topics you mentioned, but quite frankly it won’t accomplish anything and I don’t really care to discuss it with someone who conducts themselves in the manner you do. I’m out……..

  35. Jesse

    Two seperate message board comments there got mixed up in my haste of copying and pasting, the thing about intelligent with an i was meant for something else. My bad. Seems my intelligence is being challanged throughout the internet today. Now im out.

  36. EuroNeckPain

    Hey, how could burungi send two posts with only 1mn interval ??? This site rejects me even if I wait 5mn between two posts !!!!

    I am VERY tired of these celebrities who suddenly “design” perfumes, or shoes, or clothes. They suddenly feel entitled to “create”. So they pay a bunch of professionals to do the hidden work while they get their pictures taken as the “creator”. Who are they fooling ? I assume that designing a pair of shoes is no trivial matter, that it requires a decent amount of knowledge, that obviously these celebs don’t have.

  37. Cap'n Pickles

    Jesse’s a PETA plant. Notice how his response had no real substance in post 82? Oh Jesse! You are such a little scamp! Say hi to your PETA pals for me. Keep killing those puppies! The yipping really annoys me.

  38. MallMonkey

    Jesse does have a point about using “i” in spelling intelligent.

    My point is that anyone who has to veer to a side issue is already losing the argument. And my side issue is that if a person can’t tell what is meant to be said because of the misplacement of a single letter then that person isn’t very intelligent.

    If you are Vegetarian, you have done so by choice, not because anybody forced you to do so. Your prosletizing is annoying as hell and your point is moot because once overpopulation kills off the animals, there won’t be any to eat. Unless beef can be grown in vats. Anyone for a VatBeef Sandwich?

  39. Donkey Punch

    How much money does this flat chested woman need? In some ways it is good she is getting into fashion because her acting is wooden.

  40. Genius

    Cold hard truth.
    Yes, we have teeth, but the rest? Nope.
    Don’t believe me? Okay, lets see you go get a cow and just start eating it like it is. Sure, kill it first, but that’s it. Go right ahead. I dare you.
    Now, lets try this experiment with an apple from a tree.

    It’s funny how people like to say, hey, animals eat meat!
    And then go around and say, stop being such an animal!
    People aren’t animals! etc etc.
    You know what? Oh, oh, NEWSFLASH!
    Not all animals are carnivores.
    Not all animals are omnivores.
    In fact, there are many animals whom happen to be herbivores.
    How SHOCKING! =O

    Your cow covered shoes are also made in factories with child workers and all of that. Vegan shoes just so happen to lack one thing. The killing of animals.
    And you know what? They look just fine.
    I have a pair of vegan sneakers I got at Rue 21. They’re cyan, yellow and magenta with black as well as gray accents.
    And you know what?
    I get a googolplex of compliments on them every single day.

    You have more energy if you are a vegetarian.
    True statement.

    People make fun of vegetarians because they are secretly ashamed that they eat meat.
    True statement.
    Otherwise there would be no reason for omnivores to attack herbivores.
    Actually, that’s not a reason in itself, but people are just plain designed to be a–holes, so, that’s how it is.
    Plain and simple: you should NOT make fun of people for their beliefs.
    Would you want someone to make fun of your religion?
    Or the fact that you eat meat?
    Perhaps you believe in aliens. That’s cool.
    Don’t make fun of vegheads.
    But if ONE of them (note one – as most are NOT crazy activists) happens to verbally attack you, by all means, stoop to that person’s level.

    You do not have to kill to be a vegetarian.
    True statement.
    Yes, you can if you eat root plants.
    But you do not have to.

    Sure, it seems pretty cruel how SOME animals kill in the wild.
    Though, at least those animals actually got to be outside and have a life.
    Rather than be locked up with no space to move and being fed things that they do not eat naturally to fatten them up.

    Humans are not naturally omnivores.
    I personally disliked meat before I knew it came from animals.
    As well as our bodies not being perfectly designed for it.

    Meat does not taste alright until it is cooked well and seasoned.
    True statement.

    Meat (including seafood) are often the cause of food-borne illness.
    True statement.

    Many people have died by medicine even after it has been tested on animals.
    True statement.

    I could go on, but I think you get the point.


  41. I smell a compost pile, oh it's Natalie Portman

    You know you’ve lost an argument when all you can do is attack the person’s spelling. So Jesse didn’t want to engage someone who called him unintelligent so he childishly attacked their spelling and ran off like a baby? Very mature. He supposedly has an argument to every point the other side brought up but he didn’t want to waste his time? Right.

    BTW everyone makes spelling mistakes so unless someone spells like a Hilton let’s not bother with the spelling attacks please. Even the greatest writers in the world needed editors.

    Even if animals do eat agriculture don’t for one second argue against how insanely complicated it would be to nourish the whole world without animals and animal byproducts. It would put a strain on a LOT of things, including my colon.

    AND I hate bitches like Natalie who like to pretend that their shit don’t stink. Newsflash skank you’re a vegan, so your shit stinks worst of all.

  42. Jim

    #90. Honestly, wtf? This is the place to publish your dissertation? Nobody listens to the “musician” playing the guitar outside the Walgreens. Ditto re: long unfunny term papers posted here. Life – animal, vegetable, doesn’t matter – you need to get one.

  43. skeetzy type

    how does she seem uncomfortable? just because she isnt an attention whore,throwing her body parts around, doesnt mean she isnt enjoying herself. she’s a great role model. we need more like her in hollywood instead of skeetzy sleezy types.

  44. Genius

    #92. Honest, wtf? This is the place to reply to people who have made comments.
    I did just that. You did just that.
    How are you failing to comprehend that?
    I have never heard nor seen a musician outside of Walgreens, but if I did, I’d give a listen.
    Unfunny? Huh, I don’t recall starting off my comment: THIS IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY. It’s actually funny how people always put things down by calling them funny. What is it to be funny? Try reading Emerson’s “The Comic” if you have yet to. It’s pretty interesting.
    It’s also interesting how people always like to say things along the lines of “get a life” to people whom them have never met before in their life (or lack thereof). You are here, the same as I am. Therefore, logically, if I have no life, neither do you.

  45. D. Richards (Carnivore.)

    #90? Our bodies have been conditioned not to eat raw meat, slick. And besides, processed meat comes in contact with all sorts of bacteria at the slaughter house; you slice a Woolly Mammoth’s guts out with a spear — that’s some fresh meat. (That’s the best meat: guts.)

    You think early humans cooked their meat thoroughly? Of course not.

    They should have though: it’s just so yummy! Medium-rare!

    P.S. You’re an idiot.

  46. Genius

    #93 – I agree!
    To any calling Natalie Portman uncomfortable, so what? A lot of celebrities are shy or reserved, believe it or believe it.

  47. I smell a compost pile, oh it's Natalie Portman

    Genius you are the stupidest person on the planet. You have no arguments based on medical facts, on economics, on the reality that almost everything we produce in this world is produced through cruelty. You can’t live without consuming things created through cruelty. Go take a look at how some people are treated in the work force and don’t you dare tell me that in your home you own nothing created cruelly or that you don’t live on land that was taken from natives. You can waste all of your life trying to abstain from things that were garnered through cruelty or you can quit wasting your time and do something more just live a life of avoidance. Many animals are carnivores many are not (what is this kindergarten, no shit Sherlock). No we aren’t animals but, we are mammals and we still live on this planet where nature is the boss and nature makes the FINAL rules, not brainless little people and in the end you’ve got to have respect for that.

  48. D. Richards (Clogged artery.)

    Yes, Cro-magnon man. Be picky.

    Order your meat cooked. It tastes better that way; would you like an appetizer?

    Sure: Cooked food tastes better, but this is coming from a person that goes to a restaurant and has some black cook make her food for her. You’re not starving. You don’t have to kill daily, just to survive. You’re picky, bitch.

    Goddamn you’re a fucking dunce, #90.

  49. @90

    googolplex? Seriously. You’re gay.

  50. Genius

    How am I “the stupidest person on the plant”?
    You have no facts to support such rubbish.
    I have no arguments based on medical facts and etc?
    Of course I don’t. That is because I had statements based on medical and scientific facts. I could add some on economics you would wish me to.
    Just because so much in this world is produced through cruelty does not make it correct. There are a lot of murders daily. Does that make it correct?

    Yes, people are treated poorly all over. It’s extremely unfortunate. It definitely needs to change. Anyone who denies that I am very afraid for. How do we change this? By starting small (ie: not harming animals, anyone?). I’m not sure how much smaller you can get. You honestly cannot expect to stop harm to people all of the sudden. You need to start somewhere.

    “Many animals are carnivores many are not (what is this kindergarten, no shit Sherlock)” HA! I thought the same thing, which is EXACTLY why I wrote what I did. It’s ASTOUNDING how many people on here have stated that “animals are carnivores” and other such variations.

    I have respect for that. I have no respect for you however, as you have attacked me with no good reason. There is no good reason to attack another.
    Plain and simple truth.

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